Friend buys presents even though we agreed not to

I think this giving is not something to ignore. It is a form of emotional blackmail. MTdancer and her friend have made an agreement not to exchange gifts, then the friend continues to do so. By so doing she is making MT feel uncomfortable and at a disadvantage compared with her

I think Penstemmon's approach is right, and if she does it again quite simply return the gift with a reminder of the agreement.

I think pen's idea is a good one. Re bluebelle's comment, it's all very well trying not to offend the person who has broken the agreement but what about holding the feelings of the gift recipients in as high regard and respecting them by sticking to the mutual agreement? If one person's feelings are important, so are those of another.

Besides, anyone who takes offence because of the kind of thing pen suggested gets no sympathy from me. I think such offence-taking would be very self-centred.

I hope you can find something that works and stops you feeling sad, MTD.

Oh let her have her pleasure There is no way of saying ' no more' without offending she knows the rules so isn't expecting anything back but obviously gets all her pleasure from giving you something I would accept it as that and not spoil her fun

That's exactly right Penstemmon, a good compromise without giving offence.

I think kindly honesty is the best policy here! Send her a thank you card saying how much you appreciate her thoughtfulness but no more thank you, let's save the money and meet for lunch/tea/ theatre trip instead as her company is more valuable than a gift!

I don't think you can. It must give her pleasure to buy you gifts, even though she can't afford it. All you can do is give her a mock telling off and make a bit of a joke of it. I know I would feel the same as you in these circumstances.