Why do men...?

Love it Grumpa my DH agrees with you- his escaped my tyranny to go to Bowls again - its so quiet here just me and Mozart bliss.

Haha...poor things, trying to escape from 'She...who must be obeyed!'

Men have developed high volume noises to escape the chatter of the fairer sex. They regularly check their genitals to make sure they haven't been castrated by the monstrous regiment of women.

These are defence mechanisms. Pity us!

stillalive why would that bother you so much . I presume he is doing it over his trousers , what`s the harm as long as its done in private . Males are fascinated by their private parts, you only have to watch nature programmes to see this . At least it doesn`t make a noise !

There was a funny thread recently on loud sneezing, the type where ATISHOO! is shouted with the sneeze, and had to confess to that being me!

Yes, we need more levity

Well I am here alone and laughing ( very loudly) what a brilliant thread ! Hope the neighbours can`t hear me ..

Why would you allow a partner or any male near you to scratch his balls constantly. Yes, it is gross.

Does your son still live at home then?
I imagine that most of the time we don't notice it happen,it's hardly a terrible crime though.

Is it roses? If my son kept touching his balls I'd tell him to stop it or I'd take my hot air brush to them. I liken this to blokes spitting in the street.

Checking their tackle is a typical male thing to do ( being ladies, we wouldn't know what it's like.) Although it doesnt need doing every time they pick the phone up.

Anyone constantly coughing is annoying, but then again I AM intolerant these days

Feed him a laxative

Radicalnan, your post did make me laugh!

Haven't laughed so much for ages - what a tonic this thread has been. Loved the idea of Radicalnan's OH patting his Willy after picking up the phone! Just read the thread with suggestions for murder - some excellent ideas for the future!

Oh dear. This thread says it more plainly than anything else: this forum is only for ladies, cough, cough.......

Hubby has had a really bad cold and cough for the last five days, and don't we know it! He's started making this disgusting noise at the end of each cough, like a throat clearing noise. It started as a joke, now it's a habit. Grrrr....

Mine does some sort of weird trumpeting, blowing thing in the bathroom whilst washing his face in the morning, but can't/won't explain what it is he is doing in there.

The nose blowing. I have yet to witness a woman getting her hankie out at the dining table, loudly blowing her nose and checking the contents. Also why is it only men who are unaware of stray, escaping bogies. I can relate to the car/loo thing. Also why do men have to pee by the roadside. I have never seen a woman squatting with her drawers down having a quick pee. We can usually wait til the next stop.

Why is it that DH coughs, then hits his chest, coughs, hits his chest, every damn time?
He's been told that if he doesn't stop, one day I'm going to duct tape a knife to his hand, so when he hits his chest..........

My DH also sneezes so loud it rattles my nerves. Not only that but is never a single sneeze but a succession of sneezes - as many as 12 I think is the current record! I always say would you sneeze like that in church or at a funeral? Doesn't respond to that but not been tested yet!

Coughing, sneezing, blowing his nose. Much as I love him, my DH does these all too frequently and too loudly. There is a note in his coughing which is so piercing and penetrating that it makes me jump and sets my heart racing.

My DH must have the loudest sneezes ever, makes my ears hurt! Just as bad, though, is when he's talking on his mobile. He shouts, as if he's trying to contact them without a phone at all! If his mobile goes off in public, I walk away in embarrassment and hear him from the other side of the shop!

I have had a terrible cough for weeks and it is draining me and throat so sore and I can't seem to get any Gees's Linctus which is only cough medicine that ever works for me. I've tried Lloyd's pharmacy on line as which is where I have got it from before but they say they cannot source it at the moment. Not sure if that is because so may have bad coughs or not. Does anyone know where I could get any?

He has moonlight as I also wondered if that was contributing to the volume although he has always been loud. He has very mild hearing loss commensurate with his age so nothing to account for the giant at the top of the beanstalk volume. He could readily frighten small children!