What do you think you would have done?

I used to have a lovely neighbour who's stock answer was 'Yes, Well', and without fail it diffused awkward situations and calmed things down .
I would have come close to bopping her one too ;-)

Why do people think you want to listen to their calls this happens a lot in cafes on buses and usually language leaves a lot to be desired . I have glared at times but because you never know what reaction you are going to get I find myself ignoring them. If people get in my face I raise my arm from elbow palm facing them this usually gets them to step back .✋

She probably wanted a reaction. Depending on what mood I was in at the time I probably would just have shrugged and picked up a magazine or something. You probably did the right thing. You don't know if people have boundaries when they behave like that.
My bookkeeper used to live next door to people who would aggressively say 'what you lookin' at' whenever they went into their garden so they felt intimidated into not using it much. At least you are unlikely to see her again.

Modern life, blasted mobiles and people feeling scared, a very potent and routine scenario is hospitals. Best just to make a sympathetic response and not get into any tricky situation that isn't going anywhere that will benefit you.

We can all be witty with hindsight but it isn't worth worrying about in this situation.

My friend used to use the phrase :"of course you're perfectly right" in arguements , think it would have been perfect in this situation

If I'd thought quickly enough, I'd probably have said just one word, "Classy!" However, you don't know how violent somebody like her could be, she sounds the aggressive type, so saying nothing was probably the best thing you could have done. I think the reason you are so bothered by it is because she made you feel impotent which is frustrating and belittling. Just pat yourself on the back for being the bigger person by not escalating a nasty situation

That sounds like a case for tutting and knitting.

I have a favourite... as long as I feel I can avoid anything physical.

You eat with that mouth?

I don't really think there is a response that would have worked. There are some people in some moods who there is no talking to. This woman had no right to inflict her mood and annoyance on a perfect stranger who was minding her own business, though. Juney64

I apparently have a look that can kill at 10 paces, I'm totally unaware of doing it, I only become aware by the reaction of others. I once had the "Office Bully" tear a strip off me (she was a Senior Grade), I just looked at her, didn't say anything & took myself off into our Filing Room. She came to find me & said "the look you gave me I should have been 6 foot under", she did however appologize as she was in the wrong

A very straight look often works when one cant think lf the reply! She sounds either attention seeking, on something or unwell I saw a similar style of behaviour in my Drs surgery yesterday ...I was full of admiration for the Drs receptionist!

Many years ago I worked in A&E, night duty on Friday and Saturday nights. Staff were all too often subjected to abuse, verbal and physical, usually by drunks. I always worried that I might, by reflex, "bop" one back - end of career. When i was headbutted and my nose was broken, no danger of that. I went down like a sack of potatoes!

I think my response would have been 'Yes, words but we don't all want to hear them'

We recently had a rare bird on the river by our home. We soon became used to the bird watchers arriving and staying all day to see this rarity. We own a small island, half an acre of land, upstream which we keep as a wild area in memory of our baby daughter. The public footpath runs along one side of the island and we try to keep walkers on the path rather than wandering over the island treading down the wild flowers and damaging the trees (which we planted). Of course most people stayed on the path but then started tramping things down to try to see the bird in the river. One morning I found a man on our land set up with expensive camera to photograph this bird. I told him he was on private land and to please leave and stay on the public footpath. He refused to move so I asked again. He then accused me of harassing him. (I didn't tell him I would have thrown his camera in the river as harassment). I explained about the island and its significance to me and asked him to leave again. By this time I had used the word please six times. He still refused to go.
I walked home and got DH to speak to him - by the time DH had walked up river the man was on the public footpath but DH had very strong words with him.
Meanwhile I had returned to outside my house where this man's car had been parked since 7 am. I was debating whether to call the Police and I took a photo of his car so I could give the details to the Police. He then appeared and came up to me and apologised for his behaviour. I again explained the importance of the island and the wildlife we try to encourage but I was pleased we had spoken and we shook hands. I remember feeling cross with him all day...but pleased that I had remained civil with him.
After 5 weeks the rare bird moved away.

Juney64.
Don't torment yourself because you did nothing.
That despicable person will eventually meet her match as those sort of folk are their own worst enemy and she will get her come uppance. Leave it to fate.

juney you needed my DD2 with you. She confronts people all the time if they are misbehaving! I serioisly do worry about her safety sometimes. She was the one who retireved a stolen bike from a youth! I am sure she would have found the right riposte! Probably 'Speak up love, I'm a bit deaf' I am like you, cross but not able to respond at the time, then seethe later!

A friend who had to deal with the public had a standard reply when people got up in her face. It was something she had seen in a film apparently, she would say "If you are going to get that close perhaps you could use a different perfume/aftershave also a stronger mouthwash would be nice" She said that people were so surprised that she wasn't intimidated that they immediately backed off.

May I suggest turning your back on that person and moving seat, to keep your back towards her. That is obvious but no words are necessary so you can avoid any direct comment and the consequences.

Oh how I wish all you GP's had been with me. That would have been like a good day out with all the suggestions on here lol.

Maggiemaybe, have you come to a decision yet? I also love the idea of perfecting the dowager duchess look haha.

Thanks everyone - you've cheered me up enormously. I'll reserve that bop for another, more suitable occasion. all round.

My Dfil use to say only the unintelligent swear as they can't find intelligent words to use ? so I might have used that remark
(if I had remembered in time)

Like Legs55, over the years I've perfected a look. It combines a raised eyebrow with an ever so slight curl of the lip and an unblinking stare. I don't use it very often...but when I do, it never fails
In this case I might well have combined it with another practised riposte: Such a pity your mouth is so much bigger than your brain.
Oh dear, having read this through, I really don't come over as a very nice person. Hey ho...
Nemo me impune lacessit

What ever you said would have made no difference and a cutting remark would have just added fuel to the fire. Having engaged with her, she would then have been very abusive to you.

You did the right thing, say nothing. No magazines to pick up and read? Or maybe move your seat.

I'm afraid I'm quite trappy and probably would have asked who she thought she was talking to!
I had a terrible experience on a train with dgd two yrs ago where I felt it would be inappropriate to stoop to the vile people's level.
I had asked them to curb their language and choice of subject matter , (loud sexual talk, a woman and two younger guys). They proceeded to mock my appearance etc for the next 3 hrs! I was unable to change seats as the train was packed. Not one person stood up in my defence! They were getting more and more drunk as the journey went on ?
Some people are just plain rude!

chocolatepudding that is a very disturbing thing to have had to deal with. I am sure you got through to him... after you left he probably had a lot of time to think about it and realised his behaviour was out of line and the guilt set in over upsetting you.

What a lovely tribute to your little daughter.

We are all troubled by after thought but hopefully your silence and withering look that I hope you gave her made her look even more foolish than she did already.