Mums sayings.

Queen Anne front, Mary Anne behind.
You're the little white hen that never laid away.
You put up the bullets for him (brother) to shoot
also 'fart in a colander'... the rudest thing I ever heard my grandmother say and that only once
If play interferes with work, give up work

Red hat, no drawers
Who does she think she is?
All done up like a dogs dinner

Slightly judgemental my Mum??

My friend made me laugh with an expression I had never heard before - He/she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

Well, I've brought my pigs to a Bonnie Market! - (when things weren't going well)

When asking my mother where she was going when I was little she would say "I'm going to London to pick a white stone"!

If you don't stop I'll knock you into the middle of next week

I'll knock you into kingdom-come!" (A smack)

"She's no better than she should be!" A woman of questionable morals.

"You'll be laughing on the other side of your face in a minute!"

"That face'll turn the milk sour, lady!" When I was sulking. And "well, this'll not get the bairn a new coat" when she had to get on with things.

When asked where my mum was going "round the corner and up Jack's arse!'

Will the younger ones pass any on to our descendants?

Go off at the deep end meaning lose your temper. If u asked where an adult was going the answer could well be 'going to take the dog for a walk'. Though we didn't have one!

I've just remembered a rather 'choice' expression passed on from my
intemperate father to my brother which he would use when Mum wasn't listening: "You're like a f**t in a colander."

Whenever we asked mum what was for dinner, the reply was often 'wait & see' - for years I thought wait & see came in about 20 varieties!

Giggling at Swanny and the soap - I was another victim of that particular mum-treatment for being mouthy - Coal Tar soap in my case - tasted gross but didn't do much in the long-term about my language ;)

Red hat and no drawers.

Self-praise is no recommendation.

Right hand receive, left hand pay away. (When palm of hand is itchy.)

Under my arm. (When asked the whereabouts of something.)

Stand on your head. (When brother or myself were bored and asked her what we could do.)

And one from my spinster aunt: Someone's let Johnny out of prison. (Referring to flatulence.)

"You'd laugh to see a pudding crawl!"

My Nan used to describe skinny kids as, "Like a matchstick with the wood scraped off!"

My Dad used to say, "Don't do as I do, do as I say," when we'd point out he did the same thing we were in trouble for.

My grandmother's favourite was 'Lazy people take the most trouble' when I was trying to take a short cut in doing something. Sadly she was almost always right!

Not my mum, a favourite auntie would say
'you stand about as much chance as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest'

When spending too much time getting ready to go out "nobody's going to fall off a galloping horse to look at you". We still use it in the family and no one appears crushed!

l've just remembered one about when she'd been out for a pub lunch with my cousin, the woman at the next table had a mixed grill, and "it had everything on it but a monkey!"

For someone she considered skinny, my Nan would say "that's not a 'uman bean, its a 'uman pull-through!"

When I didn't want to eat what was on my plate my mother would say "Hunger's good sauce" or more inexplicably,
"You'll eat IT before IT eats YOU!"

Someone who had eye problems - "One eye and a whilk!" (Welk, I think it meant)

My mam had one relating to a couple who weren't in the Brad and Angelina department looks-wise "They don't spoil two houses...."