Your thoughts welcomed on house move!

Sorry to hear you lost your daughter.
I think you need to live your lives for yourselves and do what will make you happy. If you still have friends or family in Northumberland so much the better. Do it while you are still both fit and able to enjoy your new surroundings. Too many people worry about their independent children and what they will say/think. Large house to a nice smaller bungalow sounds ideal to me.

So sad to lose your daughter, and I think it's very brave of you to consider moving on. The Northumberland coast is wonderful, so unspoilt. And who needs 5 bedrooms once the children have left home.
I think it's a marvellous idea and I wish you the best of luck in achieving it and starting life in a new setting.

We are just in the process Kupari of doing something similar.

We're a bit younger than you , but need to move to a bungalow which we can't do nearby. We have seen our grandchildren often as both daughters live very close but as the children get older we're aware we will see them less as they go to school and get busier social lives .

We don't feel we can stay 'in-case' they need us . I , like you, feel excited and apprehensive in equal measures . I think our youngest daughter feels like your DD and would prefer us not to move but we have given our girls and our grandchildren our all and if now is not the time to think about what we want I don't know when is.

If the move gives you focus and you want it , then I say go for it. Your daughter can visit and call. Most people resist change in the first instance but the move might give you both a new lease of like. I do hope so.

Good luck .

Oh dear Kupari it is one of the worst things that can happen, losing a child at any age. You have my sincere sympathy.

I hope you find a nice bungalow or chalet bungalow with enough room for your grandchildren to visit a lot. They may really enjoy a holiday by the seaside. How old are they?

Your older daughter may become more independent, but also enjoy visiting you and seeing you thrive in a lovely new place. If you were originally from the Northumberland coast do you still have family or friends there? It's a lovely part of the world.

Sounds like you have renewed pleasure in life now Kupari, so sorry to hear about your daughter.
Just one warning note, things are much changed when we go back after many years so visit and make sure this is the area you want. Downsizing is sensible and will make life easier. Your daughter and friends can visit and you will make new friends, I wish you well for the future whatever you decide.

She is not happy about the idea of us moving home

It's the moving home that says this is the right thing for you.
Not your older DD's "home" nor the "home" where you raised the girl you so sadly lost, but somewhere you and your DH can make a life looking forwards not back to the past.
Northumberland can be glorious and if you are moving to the coast, so much the better, what a wonderful place for holidays for the DGC and your DD too.
Train links are good, so easy to get to, you should get plenty of "bricks for your bucks" , but most of all, I hope this will bring a new purpose to your life after the emotional battering of your sad bereavement. Best of luck -we want pics to make us jealous!

So sorry for your loss
I really think you should 'go for it'!
All good wishes for the move

Yes, it's time now to do what is right for you and your husband. Could you manage an extended stay in the area to get a feel for it now? You can also look at potential homes. Your daughter would get used to a move, as others have said your new home would make an excellent holiday base. The grandchildren do need us less as they get older, remarkably soon in my view, so if the move feels right do put yourselves first. I am so sorry for your loss, it's time now for you.

Kupari as I was reading your post I was thinking 'Yes! Yes! New home on its way!' It sounds as though it would be just the right thing to do. Have you been in the area recently? If not, I would recommend Christine's suggestion that you have a good look round to make sure you're not deciding on childhood memories

I'm a bit puzzled about your concerns about leaving older daughter behind . As a single professional it sounds as though she doesn't need your help with children and you say she doesn't visit that often. Northumberland is not a million miles from Yorkshire so there wouldn't be much difference.

I hope you will still get to see your grandchildren during school holidays after they've moved. Your daughter's illness and death must have been a very traumatic time for you all and (((hugs)))

Kupari, a few years ago, we made move that 'felt right' and we love our life here - also back on my home turf.

Having said that, it makes sense to let yourselves grieve for awhile before making major decisions. I also suspect that your older daughter just cannot face any more change after the death of her sister(is this the area she grew up in?)

But it seems you are not rushing things. I would suggest a couple of visits in the next few months - it will distract you from the hip pain, you'll get an idea of what kind of places would suit (whilst struggling with dodgy hip!). You can get a feel for buses, local events etc. We did that a lot.
Then, when you are recovering from your op and sitting a lot, you can do a lot of internet searching (I also did this!).

I would advise against organising a move until you have recovered from your operation - convalescence can be very variable, and you don't want pressure.

I would definitely consider cornergran's idea - you can always rent your own home out to pay the rent on somewhere in Northumberland.It also gives you time to sort out both practical and emotional stuff, so you are sure it is the right decision. It also mens less pressure when you finally organise the move.

Of course you need to be kind and thoughtful to your daughter, SiL, and grandchildren, but you can do this whilst letting them know that this is your life, your decisions. Ours love to come and stay in our house which is efficient and easy to run for 2, but has rooms that can open up for guests.

I am sorry about your daughter's death and that your DGC are moving away. You have had a very difficult time.
I think I would echo advice to take it slowly to make 100% certain it is what you want to do /to be.

Renting for a while might be a good option, especially if it includes some winter months. That might also reassure your older DD that it is not a knee jerk 'grief' reaction. Keep her in the discussions and give her chance to voice her concerns..she may have some valid points!

We moved 5 yrs ago when we were still working and I was just 61. But we still had clear criteria for access to local shops/transport/GP etc. in anticipation of a time when we might not be as fit and mobile as we currently are. Good luck and hope the future is a good one for you.

Many Thanks to those of you who answered my post yesterday. You gave me a lot of advice re house move.
I think we will go ahead with selling this house after Christmas, however I think we will rent for six months when we finally get back up to Northumberland. We visit the area every 3 months so I'm up to speed on whats available- its just making the decision. The area I'm interested in is Beadnell to Embleton.
Will let you know how it goes in a few months.
Thanks for your good wishes.
K.