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Coo! I'm well impressed!

(25 Posts)
kittylester Tue 20-Jun-17 20:09:08

Probably not the right heading but-

DD3 has just referred the arsehole to the CMS (I think, formerly the csa!) and he will receive a letter within a week. Last I heard it was about 6 months.

Of course, he won't reply and is self employed anyway but it's a fast turn round. Watch this space!

phoenix Tue 20-Jun-17 20:16:05

Should I start work on a new incantation?

kittylester Tue 20-Jun-17 20:51:34

Won't do any harm phoenix|| grin

ninathenana Tue 20-Jun-17 20:57:19

Fingers crossed for a good outcome

phoenix Tue 20-Jun-17 20:59:50

Ok, tell me the salient points and I'll work on it! (PM if you prefer, and I mean private message, not offering to devise an incantation directed at Theresa May! Although...................Could all do with a shake up, hmmmm........

kittylester Tue 20-Jun-17 21:10:13

All you need to know phoenix is he's an idiot and a control freak. His 5 year old son is more mature! grin How much do you charge per incantation?

The CSA (or whatever they are called nowadays) seem much more on the ball than last I heard..

Lona Tue 20-Jun-17 22:13:19

Bloomin sight quicker than the CID!

rosesarered Tue 20-Jun-17 22:17:50

I hope they will get him to pay his dues regarding your DD and DGS kitty.

phoenix Tue 20-Jun-17 23:29:33

kitty my incantations are free, I would just ask that once I have come up with one, you send some sort of good wish to those that deserve it!

Now, I seem to remember the last one directed at "The Idiot", as you usually call him, was designed to invoke various complaints, mainly in the bowel/bottom region.

Obviously we need a new one, so give me hint as to what you would like to achieve with this new turn of events, and I will see what I can come up with.

I would ask, however that you don't ask for anything too extreme, like being run over by an escaped hippo.

If he is being asked to fill in forms, perhaps we could come with some difficulty with that, or if he has to actually speak, we might be able to find something that makes only able to speak in rhyming couplets, or in Finnish (which I believe is Suomi)

I await your input, but might not be able to come up with anything until tomorrow, due to having to go to work (on what should be a day off!)

kittylester Wed 21-Jun-17 07:26:18

phoenix grin

Filling in forms truthfully will be difficult for him -!well telling the truth at all. He is a narcissist so I'd quite like a spell to turn him into a pretty white spring flower - that would really upset him! grin

kittylester Wed 21-Jun-17 07:41:18

Roses, he does mostly pay up but DD3 won't let him have the children as (amongst many other things) they have to share a bed which is so high that DGD can't climb into it and that DGS fell out of and got a black eye. If she won't let them go to his house he will stop paying.

He has already reported her to Ss (we think) for dosing them up with laxative before they visit him confused so she is wary of taking them to school with any injuries.

It's her lovely partner I feel for as he thought hard about taking on the children and whether he could be a good enough dad - he didn't bank on getting the Idiot as well.

annsixty Wed 21-Jun-17 08:20:51

I don't count my blessings often and I am unhappy about my SiL's behaviour in some ways but at least their separation is civilised and why shouldn't it be in every case?
He has just spent the weekend with them as he was in England on business and D picked him up from the station and took him back to the airport on Sunday.
He is hoping to extend his contract for 3 more years which also means they can stay in the family home by which time the GC will be 21 and 18 and my D will be happier to downsize.
I suppose I am just saying with good will on both sides it doesn't have to be so difficult. This is said in case any of you are facing it and despairing .
The only fly in the ointment is the way his parents just ignore the GC apart from cards and a cheque at b'days and " that holiday" and before anyone says as someone did before that it is up to the GC to get in touch, they hardly know them as this has gone on since they were born.
Very best of luck for those of you fuming with frustration . Karma sometimes takes time.

shysal Wed 21-Jun-17 08:52:32

Sorry to put a dampener on your hopes Kitty, but our own family idiot is also self employed and pleads poverty so the CSA or whatever hasn't demanded a penny out of him! To be fair he does pay sometimes, for which DD refuses to thank him!sad

WilmaKnickersfit Wed 21-Jun-17 09:02:08

So The Idiot has been upgraded to The Arsehole! Impressed. We don't have one of those. grin

Sadly this is when his being self employed will probably work against you. Too easy to plead lack of funds. sad

sunseeker Wed 21-Jun-17 09:08:30

He has to submit a tax return - if you think he is lying on the return report him to the Inland Revenue, an investigation by them will make him very upset, take up time and he will have to pay an accountant.

kittylester Wed 21-Jun-17 09:39:50

We know that he will ignore it until chased and chased, we know he will be vitriolic but we are chuffed that dd has stood up to him and that it will cause him some of the aggro he has caused dd and the children (and us!) She will report him if he pleads poverty.

Ann, I'm sorry your sil behaved badly but so pleased that they are making it work. There is no reason why the children should suffer.

kittylester Wed 21-Jun-17 09:51:09

Sorry, I meant to say that my point really was that I was impressed how quickly things are moving.

He has threatened just to stop working if DD goes through the CMS. Unfortunately, that means his £600 per month car will have to go!! grin

I think I'm quite a nice person really but I'm really looking forward to watching him squirm!! grin

trisher Wed 21-Jun-17 10:07:01

kittylester not sure about your DD's position currently, but you do need a good solicitor in these cases especially if the bloke is self employed. Friend divorced husband who insisted he had no money, her solicitor froze all his assets, boy did he pay up quickly! Good luck to your DD.

Cosafina Wed 21-Jun-17 11:32:24

My DD got the csa onto her ex - who recently decided he had to live in a £1,350pcm property (in Somerset), and the CSA decided he only needed to give her £20 a week (which he doesn't hand over anyway).

Waste of time

kittylester Wed 21-Jun-17 11:50:55

I think DD has decided that it's time to stop him calling the shots and stand up to him. They are resigned to getting nothing, or very little.

He has suggested that DD's partner adopt the children and he has nothing to do with them (which would, of course, break his heart, his Mum and Dad's hearts, the children's half brother and half sister's hearts, etc etc, etc! we really need a violin emoticon)

Crafting Wed 21-Jun-17 12:50:44

I have an eye of newt and toe of frog going spare Phoenix. Quite happy to donate to the arsehole a good cause if you need it grin

Hm999 Wed 21-Jun-17 14:12:48

Cosafina, snap. Ten years ago CSA said that her dad couldn't afford to pay for his new family and her now he was retired (on a large enhanced pension which i said in divorce i didn't want to touch) but taking out a new mortgage (presumably shared with his employed wife); so he wouldn't be paying me anything. However they swore they'd get the arrears he owed me. Stupidly I bought my daughter something expensive on the back of this promise, on a card. Eventually I got a letter saying he'd pay £25 per month for 6 years (all he could afford!). It just about covered the interest on the card!

Galen Wed 21-Jun-17 15:02:50

I could probably find a finger of birth strangled babe if my darling daughter decided to inflict gift me with anymore dgc!
(Only joking, love them all to bits)

lizzypopbottle Wed 21-Jun-17 15:22:37

It's incredible how difficult bureaucracy makes it. Surely it's enough that a parent's name is on a child's birth certificate. That makes them responsible for a minimum of half the cost of feeding, clothing and providing housing for that child until they are 18 and it should be index linked. I can't see that this is in any way an over simplification. If the parent with custody of the child/children re-marries or co-habits, so that two adults are maintaining the home, part of the money from the other parent could be held in trust for each child until they come of age. The rest is still needed to pay half the cost of clothes, shoes, food etc. This would apply whichever parent has custody of the child/children. Obviously, where there is joint or shared custody, adjustments would be made. Simple! 😀
There used to be a subject at school called home economics but I think it might've been a fanciful name for what we called cookery. Let's drop RE and introduce a compulsory lesson called real home economics so young people have some inkling of how much it costs to live independently, responsibly and bring up a family. They would learn about the impact of smoking, drinking, eating out, take away food, fancy holidays, phone contracts, satellite TV, running a car, rent, mortgage, council tax, water rates etc. on their income before they ever dream of becoming parents. That might help to prepare them for the reality of adult life.

Mind you, I think GN would fold! Maybe I'm going too far with this. There'd be very few grandchildren around! 😀😱

Sheilasue Wed 21-Jun-17 16:23:43

Would dickhead be accepted on this page. He sounds a monster or perhaps plonker