Family needing help.....

Dogs need company - you can't work full time and have a dog It's not fair on them If you don't want to do it just say no. You don't have to explain yourself. Luckily my two youngest aren't at that stage yet but they know I'm not a dog person and wouldn't look after one lol.

Maybe compromise and do a couple of days? 5 days looking after a dog is too much!

All 3 of my A.C. have dogs and I said from day one that I wouldn't have dogs overnight or for holiday cover.
The only times I've been asked and agreed have been when DS and DiL have had clashing shifts or once when they were out all day at a wedding.
I have a 5 min walk to their flat, let elderly dog have 10 min run round garden. Reach down her food for her and top up her water.
Not a problem but they all know not to ask for more and that suits all of us.

Is compromise an option? Fair bit of doggy day care out there..then you could perhaps have on days to suit you,perhaps at your place to make life easier. Dogs are great company and fun to go walkies with, but you shouldn't be constrained by your daughters arrangements. It's lovely to go out for the day in retirement without worrying about getting back for the dog!!

This may sound mean but...keep the dog!!!cant say what to do with family?

Really sensible advice about saying no but I wonder how feasible that is for you. Maybe you find out about dog walking services in the area and suggest them along with I really want to go xxx which is all day on a Thursday or whatever. I imagine your daughter is busy thinking about her new job etc and probably hasn't thought about you

Do they bring the dog to your house? And walk it first? Perhaps you could together find a backup which they pay for on regular basis with options for longer if you want to go off?

I think in many family relationships. especially intergenerational ones, some people think loving and caring for someone means acceding to their every demand, no matter how unreasonable. As the OP says 'We find it impossible to say 'no''.

I think the word 'No' is an important part of a loving relationship, otherwise it becomes the relationship of master/mistress and servant and respect flies out the window and the phrase 'if you really loved me you would....' is heard. And we all know the dangers of that phrase.

My son and family were going on holiday 2 years ago. I had been recently in hospital so when they asked if I'd have the cat, a lovely but young and very active tom, I had to refuse. They made alternative arrangements and have done ever since. I found it hard to refuse but sometimes you need to. There are always alternatives.

As others have said, I feel sorry for the dog. They shouldn't be left for hours on end and your daughter should have thought about this before she accepted the job. It's unfair on the dog!!!

I wouldn't want to see to a dog a couple of times a day. What a complete bind. Sod that!

That's a well made point watermeadow, about the difficulty in saying No to our adult children. We love them, know how hard it is to work, have children a much less fed dog you got before the full time job, etc. They, we hope, love us.
I'm just back from visiting friends of 45 years. They are lovely people, one of the couple is very ill and also has dementia. I know how much love and support they gave to their daughter. She is now with her parents every day, making them laugh and doing all kinds of difficult tasks for them. She had two teenagers, a part time job and a husband who works long hours. What goes around, comes around hopefully.

If the dog is grown up and well behaved you could have him at least sometimes. They'd have to use a dog walker the other days.
I'm looking after a daughter's large untrained puppy but he's just jumped over the hedge so I can't have him here again but can still walk him for them.
I couldn't say no to family, it's nice to feel needed.

It isn't clear quite what is involved here but is there room for compromise - if you live close enough and are just being asked to walk the dog a couple of times a day then may be you are willing to do that on certain days and at least the day you collect GC from school (if same family?) If you can offer something then it might go down better than an out and out 'no' but DC need to realise that we have a life of our own and having given seven years to GC care, you certainly deserve some time out and on your terms. Having a dog to exercise is good exercise for DH if he might otherwise become couch potato but if you are both raring to do other things, then don't tie yourselves down.

Stut, you give very little information. What does "help out" entail? Popping in a couple of times a day if they are nearby or having the poor animal full time for 5 days a week?
You obviously find this request unacceptable or you wouldn't have posted on here. I too have had to have had to turn down a request from DD to look after her Yappy J.Russell who my Labrador was terrified of. She sensibly realised the potential arrangement wasn't practicable and made other arrangements.
As for saying "No isn't an option" and questioning that a move may be the only solution, well words fail me!
Ask yourself, what is more important, your family and the love and support that you have given to your grandchildren for 7 years or the relatively short life of a dog.

PetitFilou99. Thank you.

Two ideas from MN when wanting to say no

1.No is a complete sentence

2. That doesn't work for me

How incredibly selfish to get a dog when you are out all day...it's a guarantee for behaviour problems and the dog will be blamed. I have boarded other people's dogs for holidays etc for many years but will absolutely NOT do doggy day care. It shows complete lack of responsibility.

l have said no to 2 people this week, who wanted favours, l feel liberated. l have sometimes said no & got talked around.it does get easier to say no

So sorry Veda.

We had dogs for thirty years but decided when our last dog died that we wouldn't have another. The decision was for our benefit, in that neither of us is consistently fit enough to walk a dog, but also for the well being of the dog, who wouldn't get enough exercise. The OP's daughter doesn't seem to have thought through why she wants to have a dog. I think she needs to decide what her reasons are and whether she should even keep the dog.
But as for you OP - Just Say No!

Yes, I just wish more people would equate having a dog as having another baby...that never grows up. I just feel so sorry for the dog in this situation. They like company and being outside. I'm very irritated this woman just accepted a full-time job knowing she had duty of acre to her dog.

Yes, I just wish more people would equate having a dog as having another baby...that never grows up. I just feel so sorry for the dog in this situation. They like company and being outside. I'm very irritated this woman just accepted a full-time job knowing she had duty of acre to her dog.

As is often said on Mumsnet "NO is a complete sentence".

We did say yes to our son with the proviso that we did not have to organise our lives around his dog. We have days out and lots of holidays and it does make him realise how much we do for him. In fact HE took us away for a long week end to thank us! And we do love his dog! ?