Anyone any experience of bereavement/funerals in France?

We have a house in France and when our neighbour next door died, we wanted to go to the funeral but were unable to, but they had a second religious service in the church the following week, followed by a second (?) wake and we managed to get across to that.

The problem in France is that there is a wide variation in funerary practices from region to region and our experience in Normandy may be completely different in the region your friend lives in.

I should not worry about not knowing the form. Just ask family members what will be happening and explain that you know funerary traditions vary from country to country and they will tell you every thing you need to know,

I have been to several French funerals. They are in the main burials - only now are cremations becoming an option and they are often for British people. All the funerals I have been to of French people have been conducted in Latin . Sometimes the interment is for the family alone. One ceremony had the burial some hours after the church service but only the family attended that.
The cremation I attended was for a British friend and was almost the same as a UK service.
We never went to any wake after the service for a French person.
If you are talking about Civil ceremonies I assume you are speaking of marriages - they are a legal necessity and usually take place at the local Mairie with the Maire officiating. There is often a church service immediately afterwards- in many towns the Mairie is within walking distance of the church and sometimes the friends of the couple lay leaves and flowers on the floor of the route to be taken by the bride and groom. The church service is often a very long one.

I should also have said that they do not tend to have wreaths etc. - we have sent or taken small sprays of simple flowers which were left at the church door with all the others and then taken to be put on the grave.

Thanks, yes I do realise there can be great differences depending upon region. Thanks for the info about flowers too. Am in touch with other family members but don't want to be "insensitive" at all. The language barrier is a problem too. I do speak French but not entirely fluently as I've never lived there and this is not the time to be sounding like the English policeman in 'allo 'allo is it?

I went to a French funeral in Provence - we all gathered at the house and them followed the hearse on foot to the church - family, friends, neighbours. The ceremony was in Latin but there was a eulogy from a friend. Then anyone who wanted to drove to the cemetery for the internment. There were lots of wreaths and flowers there. Afterwards, just a few close family and friends went back to the house where we just had coffee and chatted for a while. So yes, it sounds like there are many differences and you'll just have to ask- they won't mind. What matters is that you care

We have been to several funerals; in our village it is expected that everyone goes. If you need to send a condolence card before there are examples of wording on the internet. We turn up and go into the church, sometimes shaking hands and expressing condolences "mes condoléances". Sometimes there is a book to sign. Nobody dresses up very much and here only the family wears black. The family members follow the coffin up the aisle. The service has always been in French and lasts about 30-40 minutes. On the way out you get passed the holy water thing (sorry not a Catholic) to shake over the coffin. The interment then takes place straight away normally, but once the funeral was elsewhere and we just went to the interment. We have never been to a wake.

We've had the same experiences as Mamie.
Except we don't usually go into the church - many others don't either, just wait outside then follow the coffin to the cemetery and give condolences.
I'm not sure what a 'wake ' is but I went to a close neighbour's house a few days before the funeral and her husband was lying there in his coffin. Many visitors, but I didn't stay long, just wished condolences and offered to help her later.
I seem to remember that my Dad's family had the same kind of thing when Grandma died.

Newquay I am unable to help with your question, but just wanted to extend sympathy to you as you anticipate sad times ahead. So sorry to read you OP.

Thanks Imperfect. It's something we all have to face isn't it of course but this illness came on so suddenly and each email from different sources offers no comfort. The latest that he's suffering too and facing further surgery on Friday. Thank you everyone for your contributions.

Newquay Speaking personally, when someone dies, you appreciate and find very consoling concern and expressions of condolence, no matter how expressed,

Your friend's family will appreciate that their relation and your strong and long relationship, is such that you will travel from the UK to be present at the funeral. I would not worry about being 'sensitive'.

My mother died very suddenly in our house in France when just she and my father were there. We were so grateful to all those who rallied round to support my father until my sister and I could travel over there, and all who helped us to sort everything out and return her body back home for burial. Many things that happened in this process were different from the UK, some disconcerting, but we were untroubled by this because of the care and concern shown for us and respect for our mother's body.

Newquay, your concern shows how thoughtful you are and no matter what you ask or how you express it. Your kind concern and long relationship are all that your friend's family will notice.

Thank you all, as I've said on the "penfriend" post, sadly, he died on Friday so we're dashing over tomorrow for funeral, cremation and interment of ashes all on Monday then back home Tuesday.
DH and I are staying at my goddaighter's home so have bought a bouquet for her and our local florist has done me a lovely spray of white lilies and white carnations too. Such a sad time. . . . . End of an era

Newquay I am so sorry to hear your sad news. Losing a long time friend is such a shock, sadness and game changer, even when the death is expected.

I hope your journey to France goes as well as such a journey can in the circumstances

Thank you all for your support-isn't GN great. It was such a sad occasion. I think I cried with every member of the family. .because it all happened so quickly, his death early hours last Friday and then a very full day on Monday. . . returning to funeral home, where we had keep a vigil with his body, to say our goodbyes as coffin closed. All done so respectfully and peacefully. Then to church for service. Packed to standing-a lovely tribute to a lovely man. Then immediate family (including us) to cream for further lovely much briefer service, again a lovely service.
Then back to their house for a welcome drink and snack before off to village cemetery to meet funeral director with his ashes. Another goodbye and the he was placed in family tomb.
The next day, a brief visit with his wife and other family members before shooting back home. It feels surreal at the mo-did that all really happen? The end of a long and lovely relationship. On leaving as we shared yet more tears with his wife she said "you will still come to visit won't you?" Of course we will.