A simple act of kindness -and paying it forward.

Years ago, we lived in an isolated village and needed a car to get anywhere. Unfortunately, on a very icy morning, we had a head-on collision as we were on our way to church where my then husband was a student deacon. Our little car was a write off and we had no money to replace it. One family in our church included a disabled dad. The week after the accident he was in touch and said he had just had his car updated and wanted to give us his old one. The generosity astounded us, the family was by no means well off and we couldn't offer anything in return. But the dad said it didn't matter - just to remember it at another time if we were in a place to help someone. A couple of years later, we had moved and H was in his first year as a curate. We needed a bigger car as we had baby number 4 on the way. We sold the old car and H sent a cheque to the man for the entire price - a few hundred pounds. We got a letter back from our friends saying their washing machine had just broken and they had no way of replacing it. Then the cq arrived out of the blue. .

One of the most important qualities in life is kindness. Also reminds me of the saying "What goes around comes around".
People have often been very kind to me and whenever I can I try to 'pay it forward'.
I also kind of believe that if someone hurts or cheats another person then either they, or someone they love, will pay a price for it later.
I think it is easier to keep things simple, be honest and be kind.

Back in one of the very hot summers in the mid 1970s two of us were on one of our several French holidays and we wanted to see the surprise view over Cahors. We set off in the late afternoon when it was a bit cooler and didn't realise we were on the wrong track and not getting any nearer the edge of the cliff overlooking the town. We walked and walked as the sky got darker and darker and we realised a storm was brewing. Somehow we found our way to a few houses and in pouring rain asked if we could ring for a taxi. The lady who answered the door got out her car and drove us back to Cahors through a horrendous thunderstorm and would take no money.

On another French holiday we were returning from Carcassonne in sweltering heat and the train was packed, no seats at all and no-one offered us one. It was the first day of my period and I had awful stomach ache. I thought I would pass out. My friend went into a compartment and said I was not well - immediately several seats were offered amid expressions of concern for me.

Two acts of kindness spring to mind that happened to me/us. The first was when DH (then just a fiance) and I went on holiday and hitch hiked through France. We were given a lift by a couple who, it turned out, were refugees from Iran and who had turned round to come back to pick us up. They were charming and gave us a bed for the night, we stayed intouch for some years.

The second was when I was pregnant with my first child and working at a health clinic for a university in Hong Kong. One of my patients gave me a small silk purse with a gold peanut charm in! I tried to refuse (there are strict anti-corruption laws in HK) but she said it wasn't for me, it was for the baby. The peanut is a symbol of good fortune.

We had a tyre related one that we have not been able to pay back. We were on our way back to Stranraer to catch the ferry for our posting to Northern Ireland, our Mini loaded down with belongings and two small children so that there was barely an inch of space to spare, when we had a puncture. It was pouring with rain; we got the children out of the car and DH started to unload the boot to get the spare and jack when a man in an identical mini stopped and offered us his spare wheel which was infinitely more accessible! He put myself and the children in his car to keep us dry, helped DH change the wheel, took our punctured wheel and said he'd get it mended, but wouldn't take any payment for it. We were so grateful to him. If we had had to manage alone, the children would have been soaked and we would probably have missed our ferry, but I have often pondered since on that particular happy collision of circumstances happening at that precise moment in time.

I''ve frequently received help from people who some may be wary of. On my way back from France I remember the 3 skinheads at Heathrow who carried my case down to the underground, and following another overseas trip the Rasta who signalled to me from the opposite platform of the station then came across to carry my case up the stairs to the platform I needed.

I do try to help people but probably the only time I did perhaps pay it back once again involved a train. I was on the platform at Tower Hill underground when I noticed a young girl get off the train and the doors closed before she could get her bag. She was hysterical, particularly as she was French and was meant to be meeting friends at the Tower. I took her to station staff and explained what happened and they rang through to further down the line and got her bag taken off. I took her to collect it and all was well. She wanted to give me something for my help but I too told her to pay it forward.. It was lucky that I was in no particular hurry that day (and had a little French ).

A few weeks ago, just as I entered a pound shop, I saw a young man, counting out what money he had to see if he had enough money to buy whatever he needed. This young man was rather unkempt. Suddenly, a young girl, approx 10 years young stepped forward. This little Lass handed him some money which was so gratefully received. I was so entranced by this, and I turned to her Mum who was standing next to me to tell her what wonderful gesture her Daughter had made. I did not realise just what a gesture it was.
It turned out that this little Girl had asked her Mum for her pocket money to give to this chap. Her Mum told me that her Daughter gets upset to see people living on the streets, and just wants to help them.
That wonderful little Girl gave me hope for future generations.
Wherever you are young lady, you are truly incredible and I am so proud to have met you.

Random Acts of Kindness is now a worldwide movement. A few years ago I resolved to carry out one RAoK every day, the only stipulation is that it only counts if I don't tell anyone I did it! I enjoy playing this little game with myself.

Paying it forward is a great idea. People have been so kind to me in the past - helped when car broke down or lately when I had an accident and scraped virtually new car down one side! I am always pleased to do someone else a favour.

When my first husband left me he also stopped paying the household bills after a few months. I had two school-age children, plus a very young baby and no idea how to claim benefits - and when I finally did I was told that it would take weeks to assess my claim. I sold my wedding and engagement rings to buy food (for a pittance to a jeweller who correctly guessed that I would have to take whatever he offered) and with Christmas approaching I was close to despair. Then the minister of my church arrived with a huge food parcel and an envelope full of cash that had been donated by friends from church; a member of the congregation turned up at my house to check the children's sizes and bought them winter coats from M&S and Clarks' shoes, and an unknown benefactor bought me a brand new - top of the range - washing machine (mine was beyond repair). The kindnesses continued; cash in brown envelopes through the door, food parcels left on the doorstep, invitations to dinner and the cinema........I cannot describe how people's kindnesses affected and increased my self-esteem and self-confidence at a time when I was at the lowest ebb of my life. I honestly believe it actually really changed the core of who I am. Many of the gifts were anonymous, but I now know that one of those donors was the man I subsequently married and whose generosity of spirit lights up my life every day. Together we are still 'paying it forward' (I actually belong to the FaceBook group) as and when we are able and are conscious of the privileged position we are in to be able to do so.

In Geneva, DH and I asked a woman who was getting into her car, whether or not the bus we were waiting for would take us to where we wanted to go. She said that she would take us. En route, I discovered that it was taking her out of her way, but she shrugged it off and wouldn't accept petrol money. Many years ago, when DS was about eight, and DD's five and ten, DS was sick while we were in the bank. When we got outside, I had to let him sit on the pavement. A couple with children in their car saw us and stopped to help.
The family got out and we were asked where we needed to go. Luckily, it was to the car park, not home. The driver happily took us there. So kind. I have passed this on a couple of times. On a train between Toledo and Madrid, an English lady approached us, as she had heard us speaking English. She had left her purse in a cafe in Toledo, with her return train ticket in it also. She needed money to buy a new ticket on the train. I gave her enough and she took my address. A couple of weeks later, a cheque and a thank you note arrived. A friend told me that she wouldn't have handed over money in those circumstances. The ticket collector was on his way round at the time so I had no reason to suspect it wasn't genuine, and it wasn't a fortune. Another time I was stopped in the city centre by an elderly lady who was on a Saga holiday. She had become separated from her companions and couldn't remember which Halls of Residence she was staying at. There ensued a trip round the various student residences until we found the right one. Happy ending! Kindness definitely promotes the feel good factor! If everyone participated it could change the world!

After visiting my DH in hospital, who was recovering from a serious back operation, I got a puncture on a busy A road. It was December and very cold and dark. I got out of the car, as advised, and rang the AA. Whilst waiting, shivering in the cold, a car stopped in front of me. An elderly lady got out of the passenger side and said would I like to wait in the car. I was in there for about half an hour. It was so lovely to get into a warm car and very much appreciated.

Returning to my car with a trolley full of shopping I saw the front tyre was completely flat. A young Asian boy who was collecting trolleys immediately came over, seeing my dismay, and spent the next twenty minutes wrestling the wheel nuts, removing the wheel and fitting the spare. At this point my OH arrived from the station, and offered the lad some money for being so helpful which he absolutely refused, and rushed off to continue his job. I rang the store later and said he should be employee of the month!

When I was a single parent money was often a struggle. One Christmas my daughters each received an anonymous card with a tenner in and a note saying "please buy something nice for your Mummy ". The kindness brought me to tears and I will never forget it. Whenever we've been able my husband and I like to do something similar for people we know are struggling.

We have exactly the same situation in our tiny hamlet. Once every two years we have a Church Fete - there at only 30 of us in the village, and the congregation is three plus a dog ! We raise between £9k and £10k each time. Yes - that much !! If we didn't the Church would shut in an instant.

BUT... the generation that has been doing it for 25 years is getting old... and the 40 and 50 year olds don't want to know.

I thought this was a problem unique to us... but it isn't ! Other villages and organisations report exactly the same.

Oddly enough for the latest Fete... I worked with two 20 year olds !1 Perhaps that's the way forward ???

Years ago, a bus that I was on was getting held up by a woman rummaging in her bag for the correct money . People in the bus were beginning to tut . She didn't find enough and the bus driver wasn't going to let her on , so I stepped forward and gave her the money ( I was on benefit at the time and I knew she had a good job ) . I knew who she was but we'd never spoken before , but now years later she glowers at me every time I see her !!

Two things spring to mind - one was about 15 years ago. I had just finished working a 12 hour night shift (nursing) and rushed to Canterbury to meet a friend who was driving us to Dover to catch a ferry for a day trip to France. I stopped by a cash machine to get £200 and in my tired state, walked away after retrieving my card!!! A teenage boy, maybe 15, came running after me with the cash. I tried to give him £20 but he refused to take it.
Second vivid memory was at a pre-wedding party for my daughter's best friend - since they were 4 years old, so I knew the parents quite well. They had family who had come from Israel and didn't speak English, but as I was at their table, the bride's mother translated every single word that was said for me - not just paraphrasing and expecting me to nod and smile. I was made to feel like part of the family and it was lovely.

Two weeks ago we were driving through a village. Hubby pulled in to park and hit the pavement. Our tyre exploded! It was pouring down and we got out and looked in horror at the flat tyre. Then a young man got out of a van and came over. In no time at all he and hubby had changed the tyre. The young man shrugged off our thanks and went back to his van. (This happened in Northern Ireland by the way)

We were fortunate to move here 8 years ago and find everyone is kind. Even bus drivers let us in, everyone is helpful and kindness is just a given round here. Some of you will know about my recent bereavement and people could not have been kinder, it is just that kind of place.

When I worked in London I dealt with difficult people by killing them with kindness, it usually worked and I got cooperation in a very difficult role. I think if we are kind to others we create kindness in return.

I live in a town where little acts of kindness and courtesy are everyday behaviour. Cars stop to let people across the road with a smile, people hold doors open for each other, let someone with just a couple of items in front of them in the queue, give away the item they don't want in Buy one get one free, are just generally nice to each other. Glad I moved from my snobby village!

A while ago was taking roll of floor covering to my beach hut, wedged upright through the roof of my old convertible, had to stop and wait for tide at strood, the heavens opened, I couldn't shut the roof, very kind lady in front of me in very posh land rover got out said she would put Lino in her car, asked where I was going and then transported it, with me following behind down to the beach hut some ten minutes away, she wouldn't take anything for her trouble, I have never forgotten her kindness, she got soaked as well as me!!

My father once brought a total stranger home - a Scotsman whom he had met in the pub! He was a young man who had been on a camping holiday with his wife. She was pregnant and needed a hospital stay for a related problem. He stayed with us for a few days and we all went to see his wife in hospital! Months later we received a letter and picture of mum and baby. The memory of that kindness and trust on my father's part really impressed me as a 13 year old and the influence of it has stayed with me.

My granny told the story of a tramp who once came to her door, when there still tramps. She gave him something to eat and drink, and an old coat which was rather better than the one he had.
A year or two later he came back - no longer a tramp - to thank her, saying his luck had changed since the day she'd been so kind to him. C

I can't say I was exactly over the moon about it at the time, but on his flight back from a business trip abroad, my dh met an elderly Egyptian lady who was en route to the US, but her onward flight was badly delayed and she told him she had no money for a hotel.
So he brought her home with him. She made herself very much at home, asked what was for dinner, said she wasn't keen, so off we went to Asda for something else. The following day I drove her back to Heathrow for her flight.
She was effusive in her thanks, but I will admit to a sigh of relief, so the kindness was dh's more than mine!

I have been touched by the kindness of strangers on more than one occasion. In fact when I think about it I have been shown several acts of kindness over the years from people who I had no connection with and whose help made a huge difference to me and my family.

I have always tried to remember those kindnesses and hope that I have managed to help others in similar ways.

I have read about paying back or doing an act of kindness etc several times recently and it came to mind when I was waiting in a queue in a small French supermarket - Spar type shop. The English lady in front of me came to pay for her shopping and when she counted out the money in her purse she was still couple of Euros short. So I just gave the shopkeeper the couple of Euros she was short as she and he were discussing what she should do - seemed the simplest thing at the time. I had never seen this lady before nor have I seen her since.