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grandchildren in their twenties- how close are they to you emotionally?

(25 Posts)
jordana Sun 08-Oct-17 23:59:44

I see my 21 year old grandson fairly regularly, he pops in at all times just to keep an eye on us and to" wind us up" in a half joking way. Granted he does spend a lot of the time on his mobile too when he is here. He is very good to us by doing the garden and odd jobs. He lives with his mum ( our daughter) just a few minutes away. My grand daughter is 25 and lives in her own flat just a wee bit further away but we don't see her as often. I know she cares for us and we do occasionally go out for a coffee or lunch, usually for my birthday or at Xmas. I just wondered if others are in contact too with their grand children at around this age. When I was 25 both my paternal and maternal grandparents had died.

Christinefrance Mon 09-Oct-17 09:10:58

My adult grandchildren keep in touch daily via Whatsapp and always want to meet up when I am in UK. I really enjoy hearing about their lives ( edited I'm sure) I feel very lucky to have a caring family. Both my grandparents and my parents were dead when I was in my twenties.

MissAdventure Mon 09-Oct-17 09:20:39

My daughter and my mum were extremely close. They shared a car, went shopping together, and did my mums garden together. It was lovely to see. They were best friends.

tanith Mon 09-Oct-17 09:28:54

Most of my grandchildren are in their twenties and they all keep in touch not daily but weekly at least with pics and posts on our family group. My eldest grandson is particularly close with regular visits if in the area and calls he has a new baby now and is besotted so I'm expecting grandma might move to the back burner now but that's fine by me grin

Irenelily Mon 09-Oct-17 10:28:54

My grandchildren range from 4 to 27 - with a big gap in the middle! The 27 year old GD lives quite near, is married and she teaches locally. We have a meal with them from time to time and she calls in for a cuppa quite often. They will help with jobs if asked. Her brother is 25 doesn’t live near but makes a point of coming to see us when he can. He is off to China in November to teach English for 1/2 years - so it will it will be the very occasional visit!

grannyactivist Mon 09-Oct-17 10:44:57

My adult children have wonderful relationships with my parents-in-law. They meet up for meals or coffee and they text or call each other fairly often. When my youngest son recently started his first job after graduating he sent his grandmother a bouquet to thank her for her support whilst he was at university. Every year we have a multi-generational holiday and I love to see how close my children are to their grandparents. The down side to that is that as the grandparents are now in their 80's my children do worry, sometimes a little too much I think, about their GP's health.

Sheilasue Mon 09-Oct-17 11:43:19

My gd is 17 I see her every day because she lives with us.

Craftycat Mon 09-Oct-17 11:47:13

I'm very interested to see how this thread turns out. My eldest DGS is only 13 but already wants to stay home when the others come to stay now. I understand completely but I do miss seeing hm.
I was close to my own DGM & she came to lunch every Sunday with my Dad & I after my mum ( her mum) left us & moved a long way away. Once I was married she still came to us until she died- yes it was sometimes a chore but she had been a daily part of my life when I was young so I felt it was the only right thing to do.

amt101 Mon 09-Oct-17 12:09:08

I look after my youngest 2/3 afternoons a week after school. Rarely see my other 3 older grandchildren who mainly live over seas. Maybe see them 3/4 times a year. They are always pleased to see me for 5 minutes and then are back on their phones!!!

BRedhead59 Mon 09-Oct-17 12:25:16

It depends very much on where people live.
Many young people have very busy lives and they are exploring the world other relationships and work opportunities.
Many, as in my case, return to their roots as they get older and seek information about family history.
Always take time to write your life story for when they are interested and have time.

Maidmarion Mon 09-Oct-17 12:50:39

If only..... I have three grandchildren in USA whom I don't see, and a grandson in Wales who I also can't see because his father has fallen out with me (for reasons only he knows!!!!!)

Coconut Mon 09-Oct-17 13:10:24

I joke with my eldest granddaughter over this ! I text her and say “redundant Nanny needs a hug “ etc I also found a funny caption on Pinterest “ my mobile phone broke today so I spoke to my family, they seem like quite nice people” ! I text her that when she was in my lounge, and we just laugh. I do try to highlight the issue with humour and it does work but once the boyfriend came on the scene, as per norm, we all have taken a back seat. She asked me if the 1st kiss is embarrassing ... if only I could remember !! I said it was, but also thought how lovely that she still does need Nanny’s input in her life.....

Grannyboots1 Mon 09-Oct-17 18:29:42

I had a lot of input into my eldest gs life till he reached fourteen. He stayed over a lot and had his own bedroom. He will be eighteen soon and apart from special family gatherings we rarely see him now. He is a lovely lad and our work is done.
As my own family moved about in my childhood there was no chance to know any of my grandparents.

CassieJ Mon 09-Oct-17 18:56:18

I had this conversation with my mum yesterday about her adult grandchildren as one of them have just had a baby.

She rarely hears from any of the 12 adult grandchildren unless we are having a family get together. They all love her, but are busy with their own lives now and far spread.

We saw a lot of my parents when the children were younger and they all got along well, but as I say they all have their own lives.

But if there are any problems for my parents [ my dad was in a car accident 2 years ago ] they all get in touch and visit.

stevej4491 Mon 09-Oct-17 19:42:13

my eldest GD is 29 now and I hear from her several times a day.I have the relationship with her that ,I would have liked with her mother, myD.She comes over a couple of times a week,will run me to hospital if I have to go about my eyes. Any jobs that involve climbing ,she'll do for me or heavy lifting.At the moment she',.Issorting out power of attorney for me, next will be sorting out my house to put in to trust, just in case I may need care in years to come.She's pretty switched on and I love her to bits.Her brother and sister who are 25 and 21 don't get so involved with me unless I ask them. But they do so willingly.

SOF2016 Mon 09-Oct-17 19:55:59

My eldest grandson who is now twenty four has lived with us since he was sixteen, although the past couple of years he has been backwards & forwards, this time he has been here since May & can’t see him leaving anytime soon(??).
We get on well, & he does spend time with us, shares meals, & sometimes cooks, both he & his grandad play guitar, so there are always lots of those being played or talked about, as well as music in general.
His sister, she is nineteen, we see her on average every couple of weeks, she will come round for a meal with her boyfriend ( who my husband gets on really well with same taste in music & same political views.
Next down the line are their seventeen year old twin sisters(not identical),
One of them lives with her aunty & family, so we hear & see her quite often, her twin lives with her dad, sadly we only see or her from her once in a blue moon, & not for trying on our part.
The other grandchildren range in age from eleven to fifteen, all are musical or arty the two things that they have in common with me & their grandad, but I won’t assume that will bind us, time will tell.

Bluey Mon 09-Oct-17 20:14:01

I have one grandchild, now adult, rarely see her, she lives ten minutes walk away. She thanked me on facebook for her birthday present which I gave to her Dad to give to her.
There is nothing wrong between us, I guess I must now be a boring old woman. Her other Nan, quoted to me .... A son is a son until gets him a wife but a daughter is a daughter all of her life.

Gaggi3 Mon 09-Oct-17 20:50:28

Any time we have with DC and GC is precious. My very dear Fil said, when he was about 95, “I don’t know why I’ve lived so long. All my grandparents were dead before I was born.” So sad.

GrannyJan9 Mon 09-Oct-17 21:01:16

Have three step grandchildren that came into my life when they 7,11,14: now grown up and 2 working but they all three have been to visit for a weekend with girlfriends.. they live too far away to visit all time but happy to see them .... will have 2 more soon!. My Grand daughter, is different see her weekly as pick her up from school ( 65+mile round trip) and stay in hols 4 two days ~ fun times!

Caro1954 Mon 09-Oct-17 22:38:39

So interesting to read about all your different experiences. My DGC are only 5 & 4 so I don't know what will happen in the future, but I will savour every minute just in case!

Aslemma Mon 09-Oct-17 22:53:53

I have 8 grandchildren between 27 and 9 and have a particularly good relationship with my daughter's 3 boys. They don't live far away and their youngest (17) has just got a motor bike. He has been over twice in the past couple of weeks, the second time insisting in paying for a take-away. Unfortunately it is not the same with my second son's daughter and son. The son (19) is fine when he comes but this is usually with his dad and he rarely comes round specifically for a chat. On the other hand I only see his sister (26) on occasions when the whole family are on parade. A few months ago she had a lovely little son but I have only seen him twice, first when my son took me there just after he was born and again at my son's birthday. He is a lovely baby and I would love to see more of him but my granddaughter takes after her mother, my ex daughter-in-law, but that's a different story.

Yogagirl Tue 10-Oct-17 08:12:19

Bitter sweet read xx

Humbertbear Tue 10-Oct-17 08:16:50

My single daughter in her forties spends every Sunday with her grandmother and also does her shopping. Her grandmother was her ‘childminder’ for 18 months and they forged a very strong bond. My mother says she thinks of her as another daughter.

thecatgrandma Tue 10-Oct-17 17:49:50

I think it's up to you to maintain rapport with your grandchildren as they grow up, as with your children. Your relationship changes, you have to accept this and change with them if you can, or at least maintain an interest in their growing lives. My oldest is only 12 but unbelievably has unleashed a football fan in me ( a lifelong football hater)! I like to think we will always have this in common however old he is. It's no good expecting them to play with Lego when they come to grandmas house, respect their growing lives. But it's a scary prospect if they grow away from you, very scary.

henetha Wed 11-Oct-17 10:45:37

My grandchildren are from 27 down to 15. I have a lovely relationship with them. The eldest is in contact all the time, and the others quite often. I see them regularly and count them as friends now.