Bruised. What would you do?

I am so with you Caramac though the children I worked with were up to year 6 but could be big and strong. I was near to retirement and hung on because I loved the job and (most of) the children.

During my last year I was in constant fear of being knocked over/jumped from behind and breaking a hip or leg and have since concluded that it is a job for younger, stronger people and I should have got out earlier.

I too loved making my own (limited, it's not well paid!) money but could you not go for a job supporting children with special needs in mainstream? You have the experience and won't be worrying about injury.

Whatever you decide, the best of luck to you.

I can personally relate, having had a breakdown many years ago had a breakdown through being assaulted by violent adults with special needs repeatedly . It took many years to recover fully. I stayed to financially put my kids thru uni, but I do wish id been able to leave sooner. U can do voluntary work until u find a paid job if u want. Physical and mental scars leave a long legacy. I really really mean this message.

I would retire as soon as it is possible, even if you have less money, as long as you have enough income to live on, while you still have time to enjoy it. My husband kept talking about retiring early for several years and finally decided to do it in December last year. He had a massive heart attack in April and has been left with cognitive impairment. I am just glad he had those 4 months to enjoy. None of us know how much time we have or what the future holds. I would say enjoy your time together now.

What would really worry me is if you and your colleagues retaliated by inflicting any violence on your service-users (the children). It must be very tempting, but if you see that sort of thing happening you should not hesitate to report it. Violence from one's patients/pupils should not be simply accepted as a hazard of the job, though. There should be care plans and sometimes it will be right to report the assault to the police - if they think the assailant was not mentally responsible for their actions they may decide not to prosecute but that isn't an assumption that you should always make. Your employer must give proper training to you and your colleagues in how to de-escalate violent situations and how to contain them in a lawful humane way. If no such training is given, you must complain to senior management and escalate the complaint as high as is necessary.

I forgot. All the incidents should be recorded in the accident book as well as in the individual children's care plans. Most managers would be horrified if their accident book was full of assaults.

I think you should talk to your line manager. She or he should be concerned that you are considering leaving because you are not sufficiently well protected at work. she might consider a transfer prior to retiring or possibly part time work etc. See what option your employer is offering and check out with your union of ACAS or the Citizens Advice what your rights are. Your pension is for the rest of your life and you need as much as you can get whilst retaining your mental and physical health.

Yes. It's not necessarily a matter of either go or stay. As I mentioned above you could find out if there are other options available within your current workplace.

I agree with janeainsworth & Nanarose I too have worked in this field and it definitely should not be considered 'part of the job' to have these incidents. Talk to your managers about training and support. Having said that you have already been involved with violence in the work place and your managers should be supportive if you want to reduce your hours or move to a less challenging role. Perhaps you could work in training and help others deal safely with these issues. If you decide to retire and enjoy a more peaceful life then good luck - enjoy.

There are 2 things going on here, and you really need to think about them separately.
If you do want to stay, how well staffed, and how well trained are the staff where you work? Of course, even in the best managed unit, this is going to happen every so often, but I would look very carefully at this. This is an area in which I have a small amount of experience, and good management can reduce the problems you describe.

What would I do?

I'd probably look for another job, where I wouldn't get hit. Then, with injuries out of the picture, I'd think about whether I wanted to stop work altogether.

If your DH and DC were not trying to persuade you to leave, would you want to leave?

Leave and enjoy time with your husband.

Ask yourself honestly - are you putting more into your job than you're getting out of it?
When I answered that I opted for early retirement from teaching and have never regretted it in 11 years.

I have a friend who had the same treatment from children she worked with. She enjoyed the education part of the work but finally admitted she couldn't carry on being hit, kicked etc. Very little support from the school.
She left and did shop work for a while as she couldn't afford not to work. She is now working at a college, helping young adults. Best thing she's done.

Caramac I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the work you do. I have a 16 year old with extreme anxiety, along with severe learning disability. He often goes into `crisis` and lashes out. It's always through fear, never with malice. Without people like you, I don't know what would happen to him.

In your shoes I would leave and if I needed job satisfaction I would find a volunteer role for that.
My daughter is a senior nurse in an ICU and has been assaulted on so many occasions that in any other line of work she would probably have sued her employer for failing in their duty of care. I often wish she would leave her job, so I fully understand where your family is coming from!!

I don’t think that being assaulted on a regular basis should form part of anyone’s job description Caramac. Obviously in your field, there is a risk that it is going to happen sometimes, but if it is happening so frequently that you are thinking of leaving, that rather suggests to me that there’s a lack of support for your role. Is your unit chronically understaffed?
Do you have a manager you can discuss this with?
I can understand your not wanting to give up working, even if your DH is willing to ‘keep’ you.

Is it the job you'd miss or earning your own money? I know your husband says he'll put money into your account but it's not the same? Do you like your independence?

I don’t think finances comes into this as poster has said her husband can and is willing to support them both but if you love your job and love the children (and presuming this hasn’t just started but has been a continual part of your working life) you have to weigh up how much you are going to miss the kids even with their abusive ways Does the feeling of doing something worthwhile and your love of the children outweigh the damage
Can you take a few weeks break either holiday or stress related through doctor and see how you fare without the children and your job ? How much you miss it and them that would give you your answer no one on here can tell you as what we would do in the situation is not necessarily what you would do

Could you be transferred to another department or class but still within the Mental Health field?

Looking at it from a practical angle, would you be able to survive financially if you found yourself on your own? If yes is the answer, I would hand in my notice tomorrow. Life is too short to be physically assaulted on a daily basis. Is early retirement an option?

I worked for many years on a Dementia unit in a large Nursing Home. I wear my battle scars with pride. I have been punched, kicked and scratched so many times. One morning I thought my nose was broken when the lady I was assisting to put her shoes on, kicked me in the face.
I feel your pain, but it's a really rewarding job, and like you I enjoyed working and having my own income. Carry on for as long as you can. I worked for can extra nine months after my retirement age. My manager was disappointed when I eventually handed in my notice. I lived my job, and missed it for quite a while after retirement. I don't miss it now though!?

How much do you enjoy your work Caramac? You say you do but your work comes with a physical bashing, most days probably, even though it's not personal.

How much do you relish the thought of (slightly) early retirement and spending carefree days with your husband?

Is earning your own money a big factor?

Only you can decide which course of action to take but isn't there a saying about no tombstone being inscribed "I wish I'd worked longer"?

Must admit I never used to think about my demise but the older I get the more I appreciate my days are numbered. I want to spend them in the nicest way possible, if I can.

You are in a fortunate position if money isn't the deciding factor, but I must admit that I wouldn't want to go into work knowing physical restraint and injury (the bruising now could be a broken limb tomorrow?) was a facet of the job.

Is there something else you could do, rather than retire totally? Or would voluntary work fill the gap?

I do understand, as a teacher friend was in a similar situation. She decided she wasn't being paid enough to be constantly physically attacked and she found work elsewhere.

Leave.