The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

He's not still wearing the handcuffs is he

Barry has barricaded himself in the cellar Crafting. He's sat in a dark corner, rocking to and fro and is mumbling "NO! NO! I can't do anymore, gerreroffme". What exactly did you do to the poor bloke? He was due on at the Palladium tonight and he's a wreck!

Hello all. Thanks for a great time last night.
chewy I've dropped the Chippendale off at the local hospital. He doesn't seem able to walk at the moment... no stamina that's the problem.
If no one has claimed the diamanté g string, I wouldn't mind having it. Classy like me
I don't know what was in those drinks you kept giving me but I seem to have developed a split personality. I am my normal self in the kitchen but as soon as I set foot over the threshold of the Argy Bargy something strange happens to me.
Ooooh it's happening again. Bit drafty in here tonight folks. Either that or I forgot to put my knickers on. ....anyone seen Barry?

Just to let you wicked gossips know, my lawyer is preparing a lawsuit for slander.
It was actually you, Soop, who was stalking the Edinburgh Father Christmas, all the way round the Overseas League Club in ERdinburgh.
The rest, I admit to it.

As for Crafting I'm well shocked. I've always thought that she was one of the more refained laydees. After all, she was convent educated.

I bet I can guess. Marydoll will have tucked the Edinburgh father Christmas, a Chippendale (the one with big thighs) and the handsome chap from the polis (who couldn't take down her particulars quickly enough) under the duvet as extras. I noted that she owned some pink furry handcuffs. The captive trio will be well harnessed and only Marydoll has the key (in her knicker pocket).

Actually, there are still three pairs of feet sticking out, have no idea who they all belong to! ?

So that’s where those Chippendales twins went !! Say no more Lemon !

Well, come in here anytime, all are welcome ( as long as you pay for your drinks) the bar doesn’t stock itself!
I need a large espresso ( a bucketful) I have just emerged from under the duvet.Modesty forbids me to say anything about who still remains under the same duvet.?

My bushel came off on my Tena pad last night !!

Thanks for inviting me though Id like to say I let my hair down but it was more letting my hair off as it turns out !!

That was me Meno. I don't look great first thing. Sorry for the mess. I'll hunt for me marigolds right now.

What the hell went on last night? I've just come in to restock the bar and there is a wrinkly half naked man in the cellar, a pair of tartan knickers hanging from the lamp, tassels in the poteen and a Tena lady stuck to the window.
I leave you lot alone for one evening and this is what you get up to.
Now I've just slipped over in something. Brilliant.

Those may be my legs - I am not shure.

Night all who's are those legs poking out from under that table? is it Galen?

? Night all.?

Am getting too old for this and I may just zzzzzzzzzzzz

?
Thanks for coming ( you can say that to Barry later.)
A great night out, I am tuckered out but my Chippendale is ready to party some more, so......

Thanks for a great evening argies ...you must come to us next time. Bring some of that non alcoholic poteen with you it was so refreshing I had two or three jugs of it.
Come on Barry, we're going clubbing, you sexy thing you.
I'll send him back when I've finished with him......don't wait up ?

My word but Crafting has come out of her shell hasn't she! lemon for goodness sake get her down of that stage beer crate before she does some damage to that lads appendage.

Well, my Chippendale is waiting for me, so the clearing up can wait for another day.....usual rules, last one out lock up please.

Look at the place, overturned chairs, empty plates and glasses everywhere, strange sticky puddles, a tassle or two and a thigh length leather boot on top of a table, yes, it was a good night all right.?

That’s because they shaved their bushels Mary

You should have stuck to your usual horlicks Crafting a shameful display from you, what will the kitcheners think tomorrow??
Now, put Barry the barman down and get yer coat! You’ve pulled.Go easy on him though, as he has a dicky ticker.

I'm going to lie down in a darkened room ( with one of the Chipendales).
I'm shocked (and I don't shock easily) , at the behaviour of the Kitcheners.
They are certainly hiding their lights under their bushels. ??