The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

Oh no you're not, you know you are my best buddy, I'm just thinking of Argy income and without that, where would be all be?

Menopaws, I'm very hurt.

I should imagine that a night out with that flea ridden dog might be a more attractive proposition! (Note I was referring to the canine rather than human variety although...)

Spoilsport. Should we put Mary up as a prize instead, be interesting to see if we sell any tickets at all!

Oh Jane, you never know. It could be fun?

I have sent Carruthers to buy all the tickets to ensure that I win. No question of me being any sort of prize.

Menopaws, please don't mention SPOONS! I'm up to my elbows in them.
I'm still stuck in this blessed dungeon washing dishes to make up the shortfall in the bill, but there is one positive thing.
I've peeked out of the kitchen and there are some really fit young Scotsmen in kilts (and silver foxes) celebrating the rugby result. As Big Jim is out of the picture.......

Actually I can stick two whistles up my nostrils and find a fair tune

That's ages away, I'll practice for a Christmas concert rendition of I'm Too Sexy for my Shirt if that's ok

Saving that for a bank holiday Meno ditto for you on the penny whistle.

Will miss Marydoll on the spoons

Anyway, never mind that, go and sell these tickets at all the tables, it’s crowded tonight as it’s tripe on the menu and we have entertainment later, POGS is back by popular demand to fart her way through ‘I did it my way’ followed by Anya (pole dancing) and then Soop on the bagpipes.

Would a night in a Premier Inn, in Doncaster in March be better?We may be able to run to it if we sell enough tickets.
Look Jane we were being generous making you the second prize, as many people would prefer the alsation.
Sorry,did I say that out loud?

Second prize? Second prize? After a night in a Travelodge in Hull in February? Am outraged.

Where are these ‘certain circles’ BB Outer Mongolia?
Still, they will make another prize.....sling them on the bar.

My coasters could be a raffle prize. They are much sort after in certain circles.Anyone would be over the moon to win some.

Well, I wasn’t, but somebody has to man the bar, so one large Febreeze with ice and lemon coming up.I will get the raffle tickets from the corner shop later on, just leave that tenner with me.

That sounds quite good, I'll have £10 worth please and large Febreeze ice and lemon please if you are serving

Funny you should ask,as I was just thinking about the prizes,
How about
1st Prize .....a no expense spared weekend in Hull next Feb( one night in a travel lodge)
2nd prize...a dinner date with Barry or Big Jim ( if a woman wins) a dinner date with Jane10 ( if a man wins)- the prospect of posh totty may sell loadsa tickets.
3rd prize....Jason the alsation, (it was a mistake to get him in the first place.)

What are the prizes?

Blimey!
Such goings on.Well, we will have to deduct the money from your pay Marydoll at The Argy, since the takings are all gone, who will pay for all the gin and vodka we ordered?
Let’s have a Grand Raffle tonight, charge all the customers a fiver for a book of tickets.
Meanwhile put the kettle on, I fancy a hot toddy, nippy out today.

Well, as for the takings..... , sorry! Went into town with Big Jim today and we had the most delicious lunch, washed down with a cheeky wee Pinot Grigio. I have to say the almond brownies were also amazing. However, I did feel a bit strange after the brownies. I suspect that it is the same recipe we use in the Argy. It started me wondering where Chewy has disappeared to!
Unfortunately when I came to pay the rather large bill, I realised the only cash I had on me was the takings bag with 2 shillings and sixpence in it. I am at this very moment working as scullery maid (very much at home) in the kitchen of a bar in the bowels of Glasgow Central Station. I may be away for some considerable time as I try to make up the shortfall for the bill. Big Jim has done a runner and left me to carry the can!

G’day all! Having an Aussie Day today.That means throwing some shrimps on the barbe and settling down in a string vest and cami knickers with a glass of the amber nectar.
Aaaah, this is the life.?
Hope that The Argy is finally making some money?
Marydoll aren’t you in charge of the takings? Hmmmm, last time you took it away!

Grapped his leg did ya? He tries that on with all of us Jane d3

Marydoll, you need to go a bit easier on Big Jim - he is not as young as he used to be. I just arrived to tidy up and found him struggling to get it up the cellar steps. Had to help him.