Age appropriate?

Remember Kathy Bates' comment in Fried Green Tomatoes? Something along the lines of "I'm too young to be old but too old to be young!" I know how she feels! I wear what I feel good in, but definitely no mini skirts!

52 and can't ever see myself wearing anything other than jeans,trainers,casual wear -- Red Herring/Henry Holland/Debenhams -- smart but casual. When I go out (which I don't often) -- still manage to get away with Little Black Dress -- and I stick to the same rule that I did when younger -- (only) boobs or legs on show, not both,have good boobs and legs -- so if I feel comfortable, why not ? Having said that I resort to sloppy lounge wear at home for comfort -- guess what I'm trying to say is Mollie -- wear what makes you feel comfortable -- don't let other people/media, etc dictate what you should/shouldn't be wearing -- I admired my daughter's/niece's 'skinny' jeans for ages but avoided them as I thought they were just for youngsters -- tried a pair on -- look great (I think and don't care what others might think) and so comfortable -- so go with what makes you happy ! Life's too short to worry about what other people think.

You are as old as you feel, and I certainy dont FEEL old, although I am, I am not giving the game away!

I want to say how much I've enjoyed all your emails today and it's given me a smile reading about all your ideas and dress styles. Thank you.

As a 58 and 11 months and working full time for a professional company in Central London, I experience being invisible almost daily!

I love how lots her like the Joe Browns range too, I find their stuff to be pretty much timeless. My work clothes are mainly scoop neck long sleeve tees in different colours, basics from George or the Tu range at Sainsburys, that way I can forgive myself for being a bit more spendy on skirts, Phase Eight are a favourite and I usually check out their sales. Basic separates I can mix and match and wear with a pretty scarf. I don't think I've bought from M&S in 10 years .. And I find Next stuff isn't the quality it used to be. I do get my jeans from there. TK Maxx -it's a bit of a jumble sale but every now and again I find a gem at a great price.

I'm going to check out other recommendations on here, thanks. And the fiction tips - 40 minutes each way on the tube I get through lots of books.

I am 49, and my MIL told me off for not wearing clothes "suitable for my age". I was wearing black jeggings, UGG boots and a T-shirt with a cat on the front. I couldn't believe her attitude, I looked OK, the clothes and boots were comfy. I asked her what she meant, she told me that I should be wearing "plain or pastels, and to stop dyeing my hair", as I wasn't fooling anyone. She has a cauliflower perm, wears beige Polyester and shoes that fasten with a Velcro strap! I could never dress like that, and in-fact still wear my old leather biker jacket that I've had since I was 19! I shop in Primark and Topshop but tend to find that clothes catered for my age, look really frumpy and ageing, and I don't want to look like that! My GD, 17 says I look OK, and that's fine by me!

Forgot to say I am 66

Absolutely agree with you GrannyGravy13! I definitely don't want my age dictating what I wear, read or do! First time in my life I can please myself(within reason) When a teenager I screamed at The Beatles, listened to Glenn Miller, loved Andy Williams and Cliff. Enjoy quite a few of the artists today Seal, Ed Sherrin, Paloma Faith. Books and magazines? Whatever I choose! Friends my age, older and much younger...... I do not listen to Radio 4 as soon as I hear it I feel extremely old but I can catch up on a good programme on iPlayer!
Feel so lucky to be able to make these choices

I often feel unsettled at this time of year. It's a new year and that makes me want to change something, do something different, a time for a fresh start kind of thing.

When I was about 40, I discovered Urban Fantasy books, basically books set in the real world that contain aspects of fantasy, such as mythological creatures (vampires, werewolves, witch, fae, etc.) and the stories revolve around coexistence or conflict between humans and these beings, and other changes to city life. The books are not always set in current times, they can be set in the future or the past, real or imagined. In the past I would have dismissed these books as childish, but I was so wrong. It's adult fiction. We're not talking about black cloaks, wings or pointy hats. The characters look human most of the time.

We enjoy fiction because of the author's skill at writing about the characters and the world they live in, so if you're looking for a change try reading books by some of these authors -

Ben Aaronovitch (Rivers of London series)
Patricia Brigg (Mercy Thompson series)
Jim Butcher (Dresden Files series)
Kim Harrison (The Hollows series)
Benedict Jacka (Alex Verus series)

My husband was trying to open a tin and remarked "This must be so difficult for older people". I wondered if at 64 he was an older person. That didn't go down well.

I must say since I retired last year I've discovered black leggings and tunic tops as they are so comfortable to flop around in. I smarten the leggings up with suede ankle boots in winter and in summer wear the lace edged ones with black canvas flats with bows. I used to wear black M&S tailored trousers and smart tops to work with jeans for casual.

Don't identify as a consumer. DO things!

If you have the figure confidence and feel comfortable wearing something go for it I'm 61 and think age appropriate is in your own head.I have always wanted long blonde hair but felt I should stick with my mouse coloured bob until a couple of years ago when I started to let it grow . Its long ,past my shoulders and I have it coloured champagne blonde I have had some critical snide comments mainly from ladies my own age who have the regimental over 50 bob but who cares I like it and I'm old enough to not to let it bother me

Thanks for,the nod about the FB group, Aruna51.

It’s not fashion particularly that has me looking for women of my age and generation in magazines. I’m drawn to stories of women doing amazing things, probably for inspiration. But when I see someone doing something I’d like to do invariably they are twenty years younger. The point is that I notice that age difference rather than thinking ‘I could do that!’ So I’m looking for examples that reflect my circumstances and my time of life (have I said that’s 60 and 10 months?). I do find such articles but they are few and far apart which does not reflect life beyond fifty, as I know from the many interesting threads and posts here at Gransnet!

Sorry ‘Hitchins’ Not Hutchins

And Aruba 51 if you want depth in reading try Dawkins...Hutchins...all and any between-the-wars writers especially Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West ( All Passion Spent) is my favourite go-to bookYoull see yourself in it!!

There's always the Woman's Weekly, the People's Friend and a fortnightly magazine specifically for older women called 'Yours'.

Yours magazine

People are saying there's nothing aimed older women, but when I look at these magazines specifically for women over 50, they're not for me. It's the opposite problem - I'm not interested in most of the content. Everybody is different, so you have to pick out what you want.

Perhaps in the media older women are less well represented, but I don't agree it's like that in real life. Everyone has to make their own choices no matter what age they are.

I agree with GrannyGravy13...... can’t be doing with M&S much., they want to put me in what my mum wore at my age (67) . I buy what I like from whoever I like. Be it Bonne Marche ...Next....New Look.Look around girls and find your own niche!! Dont let the big stores dictate what you’re gonna wear.

sympathy with you Mollie. I'm 57 and still struggling with post-menopausal difficulties, physically and psychologically. I'm often quite grumpy..

Holly Butcher's letter - she died last week of bone cancer, aged 27 - is a very sobering reminder, though, of appreciation of all I have. I wish I would remember these things much more quickly, though !

But how do you know that you reflect others of your age?

The older we get the more different and various we become this is why the obsession with 'age appropriate' is so incomprehensible. A young, short, overweight model would look as different as you would in the clothes seen on the thin models in magazines. An older short overweight woman would look entirely different from an older tall slim person in the same garment.

Our age is irrelevant, it is what we are, physically and mentally that defines what clothes we wear, or anything else for that matter, are 'appropriate'.

I'd like a magazine that reflected my age (61 and 3 months) particularly when showing fashion. There are lots of things I like that would look totally different on me than they do on the (young, slim) model! Prima used to use 'real' models but switched to using the younger slimmer professional models a while ago, I stopped subscribing! Like many I've given up on M&S apart from knickers though I did find a pair of cotton trousers in their local outlet shop recently. We are the generation with money to spend and we're regularly ignored!

@Carol58: regarding books, I'm an author and an avid reader and when it comes to books, I think it's more a matter of the themes and stories rather than the characters. I find some of today's popular books don't draw me in as many of them seem so immature: girls getting drunk and looking for a partner, etc. These stories leave me cold.

As an older person (66, and a grandmother) I am looking for a bit of depth in my reading material... not that a younger reader doesn't also like depth, but I do find I have a different perspective on a lot of matters than young authors, and like to see that reflected in the books I read. I don't want older characters necessarily; I can get caught up in characters of all ages. In fact I love coming-of-age stories if the story is a good one; it's what the characters do and how they behave that interests me.

Anyway -- the reason I jumped into this discussion, after lurking here for years but almost never posting, is because I recently joined a Facebook group specifically for older readers; if you are on Facebook it's called Books for Older Readers. There's also a website, www.booksforolderreaders.co.uk.

As for me, though I'm an older author, my books are for readers of all ages and the characters are also of all ages -- though I do tend to have a wise (or not so wise) grandma or two somewhere in there!

What about non-ageappropriate? I really only see Good Housekeeping. Every woman, unless they are about 20, is airbrushed to look younger. Read an article about a woman who is 60, look at the picture and her face has been touched up. When they featured Twiggy they touched her up so much I didn't realise at first it was her on the front cover. The men don't get this treatment. I complained to the editor and received a polite nothing answer. I call it sexism. Older men are fine, but we have to be airbrushed younger to be acceptable. I would be interested on your opinions.

Why not tell her to enlist the help of a personal shopper. The service is free although probably best to book if you can. These women can take one look at you and know exactly what would look good on you and they also know exactly where it is located within the store. They do all the running back and forth. They are never pushy and you don’t have to buy if you don’t want to. I think these days it’s more appropriate to have clothes that suit your shape than your age. I’m 72 and I wish I’d used the personal shopper long before I did.

I agree about Joh Humphries but he works on radio so maybe they are not as strict.

I think the abandonment of a retirement age for employees has had some unforeseen downsides, one being that some people work well into their old age, drawing obscenely large salaries, and keeping perfectly capable younger (say 50!) people from getting promoted. Jon Humphries is 74 and has a salary of about £600,000.