granparents and parents 'stuff' siting in boxes

I cant say "get rid" we moved house four years ago and had a huge clear out, however there are at least ten removal boxes in the garage,mainly my OH clothes which cannot be touched! having said that I was rummaging through some boxes last week, and found a box of my things, excercise books from my student Nursing days, notes from maternity sudies, with the names, weight, birth dates of all my deliveries, I CANT get rid of them, I thought how these "children would now be fifty five years of age, yes, I AM a hoarder! What a job my chidren are going to have!!

It is unkind to burden your children with doing your own sorting and throwing out. When my in-laws moved they took many old things with them, a loftful in fact, and there it stayed until they departed. We had very young children so I had to stay at home and look after them and the DH had to travel hundreds of miles north to empty the loft and get rid of the house contents.

My own mother did the same - twice. We moved her from one sheltered home to another, where she took her things with her and stored them in cupboards. When she moved again to residential care we unpacked the cupboards and moved the same (and unused) contents for the second time to the dump.

What about all the letters from first world war soldiers being discovered from time to time? All of historical interest and difficult to decide whether things are rubbish or not. Sad if they had been destroyed.
Being in the process of clearing out all my late husband's things, I find it so emotional that I can only do a little at a time. When I've finished I'll start on my own things!

It’s surprising how judgments about value can shift. I’d already ditched some old Uni notes but then a request came for items for the 100th anniversary of my old Department. Such notes (from 50 yrs ago, not 100) are now of historic importance! Same for all the political circulars, papers at the time of the 1968 student riots and sit-ins, now a valued part of my old College archive as most people threw them away.

We made some old tea sets into cake stands which all sold better than the tea sets would

Have also been getting rid of ‘things’ mainly paperwork, excess bedding, ornaments, etc.

I think that books can also go, I have 100’s, possibly 1000’s, and I can’t possibly read or re-read all of them! Bought so many from charity shops or have been given books I don’t need, I’m sure someone could get some pleasure from them.

I read about an Australian who had lost his home at least twice to bush fires and he said it taught him that most ‘things’ are often unnecessary and can be replaced if needed.

BUT am still holding on to MUCH more than I need!

?

Sympathies to all... yes been there, dealing with relatives, several times now.

Times have changed so beautiful china teasets with gold trim are no longer valued as not dishwasher proof or microwave safe. All mugs now too! No longer servants to polish up the silver. I have a beautiful feather eiderdown of my gr grans but it is going to the tip I fear along with 8 modern quilts I no longer need altho quite clean etc. Even dogs shelters would not take the latter.

I am the family genealogist so some items I will treasure as fill out the bare facts of ancestor's life. I have my grandfather's ID tag. He died in WW1. I will bequeath a box of paperwork to a nephew who seems interested. For dear people who have gone ahead of me I keep a small box of items for each to keep with me, letters, photos etc. I imagine in time I will trim these down.

I think after years of hanging onto 'stuff' that might be useful and with a growing family, it is a hard habit to turn about. But chucking stuff also had a buzz to it. A satisfaction of a job well done, new homes found, space created. I try and 'throw away/dispose' of some item every day. If something is added to the attic, something must go. A new pair of shoes? dump an old pair.

I do not see the point of keeping bank information over 6 years as no longer of interest to taxman and presume estates of these people long since settled.

No parents or grandparents stuff but I've got boxes of my own stuff to sort out!

Having in the course of the last twenty years had to deal with my parents' estate (compulsive hoarders) my maternal aunt's, plus moving in uncertain circumstances ourselves, I have been well and truly through this mill!

Now I am downto dealing with family photos that I know my late sister's children won't want and the last two boxes of family documents. Sorting in categories: bin, local archives, or charities.

As far as our own things go, tax papers, receipts etc. sorted just before New Year every year and oldest lot disposed of, when the new lot go into box in attic.

Am currently trying to dispose of a nearly complete Vignette stoneware dinner service that started as my great-grandparents and a tea and coffee service in Bohemian china from before WWI any takers?

I actually wonder if this hoarding comes under the heading of 'this might be useful to someone someday' since many of us remember days of frugality and hardship

I think you are right Kim19.
I know I am much better off than my parents were but we had so little when we were growing up that we cherished possessions. We also had to save very hard to get things too so we valued everything. Nothing has come easily, so disposing of 'stuff' at a whim, without deliberating, has proved to be SO difficult.

However, it would seem that others won't pay much for good stuff. Our recent foray into Ebay saw us selling off OH's four Tiffany lamps for less than £30. We sold a beautifully made old stripped pine chest of drawers for £19. Yet online stores sell them for over £100. They are only worth as much as people are prepared to pay for them I suppose and we didn't need them any more. Ebay has proved to be heck of a lot of work and effort for little return.

I see value in almost everything. I am going through clothes now because I have far too many. So many jackets have been hardly worn but I might as well donate them. I have noticed people DO give lovely hardly worn stuff to charity shops - some stuff on the rails looks as good as new - so that has inspired me to just put clothes into a bag without dithering over each piece and to get them out of the house. It is proving to be very hard but I must bite the bullet. Giving it away or taking it to the tip is what I have to do. It's hard.

My brother cleared out after our mother died, as my dad was relocating to a retirement flat ...all he kept was one trunk full of memorabilia (photos, little bone china ornaments with 'A gift from Great Yarmouth etc on them (saw some on the Antiques RS a while back ...now have a little value !) my grandad's clock and a few very ancient ancestors stuff she had kept. I cleared out my late dad's flat and only kept his watch (only sentimental value) a book of his drawings, and his wooden sailor ! My daughter's boyfriend of the time did discos in his spare time, old folks homes, anniversaries, etc so he was delighted with all the old records and 50's themed CD's .. My daughter had the tv and video recorder (in those days they were still around !) and a few books ......everything else went to the Charity shop. He had a new three piece I offered to the Salvation Army, but they said they could only accept furniture with a fire certificate, which was a shame ......my friend had it instead !

As for me, well I am not dead yet, but when I sold my house in the UK my new husband already had a house full of stuff, and (althoug h mine was better and a lot newer !..the cost of moving it abroad would have been a silly amount so my daughter had all my furniture for her student house at Uni (subsequently burnt it down !) ....the rest went to the hospital I worked in for their shop or re distribution to needy causes ...books and music also to my daughter ...some stuff to friends and neighbours ,,,,and all I had to take was most of my clothes ! Somehow in the intervening 17 years I seem to have accumulated it all again .....oh dear ! big bonfire I think if I ever get to downsize to my little flat ...............

My daughters have already told me they will just hire a skip to put all my 'rubbish' in. Don't think the younger generation 'hang on' to things so much as we do. They have grown up in a more 'throwaway' society than we have. I am trying to train myself to stop hoarding stuff just because it has 'sentimental' value. If I don't love it or it's not useful I put it to a charity shop and let someone else have it. But it's not easy!

In defense of the younger generation, they are typically in much more cramped accommodation than our generation, and our middle aged children are probably already having to store belongings of their children who are already in even smaller flats. But it's a bit short sighted to not cast an eye over the stuff yourself - many a valuable may be missed and taken advantage of by the clearance company.

I live on my own no family. In a 3 bed house. Have seriously been thinking of a clear out but it is emotional. I am keeping all the plastic bags which come through the door as thinking about doing it in the Spring. In case I can afford to downsize.

Looking at the question from a different angle - we're currently having a clearout due to moving house. I say "we", I have very few possessions, but husband is an accumulator and he now seems to realise what a problem he has.
I'm leaving it to him. Books are the main things.
And workshop equipment. Even clothes (how many shirts do you need?)

We had a good clearout when we we2te moving abroad 10 years and gave away so msny things I didn't think I would need. Yet I soon realised that I eas foolish to think I wouldnt need my Kenwood Chef and large saucepans etc. The phitis I went through saving ones that were more mine than family ones. I divided up into the two families. My older children had a meet up and decided that they would keep the albums complete with my eldest daughter and then ones og themselves thst were loose. The other box went to my only daughter who is not ill from my second family. Ten years on and there seems to be a lot of clutter to be sorted again. It was bad enough when my Mum died and I had such a lot to sort out despite having given away many things before we left England. I cant imagine my children wanting anything much from here so dont know what will happen as there are very few charity shops here.

I have downsized twice in the last 7 years, moved from 4 bed house to 2 bed Park Home so we got rid of a lot then, Charity Shops & tip.

2nd time I downsized after DH died, I had to take almost everything with me as I hadn't bought a new property. Everything into storage, once I had found my property we sorted into what I needed, what I needed to check before disposing of things, charity shop, car boot (DD did that) & tip. DD also sold some large items straight from storage unit. Also DD took some of my kitchenware which I no longer needed/had room for.

DD has told my that my collections will be sold, not her taste (DD collects Football memorabilia)

DM has nothing in her attic, we cleared that years ago when she could no longer manage loft ladder.

Most of DM's "stuff will be sold, charity shop or tip' DD & I have already earmarked a couple of items to keep.

I have family history so I will take the old photos which DM has put names on.

A word of caution regarding any furniture which doesn't have the fire retardant label, it is illegal to give this away, it has to go to landfill

Can I offer a tip to those people who are having to shred lots of paperwork?

Put a washing up bowl of water in the sink. Drop lots of the papers into it. Leave to soak for 15 minutes, then pick them out - all together - wring them out - easy when wet - and voila! You have papers no one will ever be able to separate or read! OH puts some of in the compost, but most goes straight into recycling. It takes minutes instead of hours and there are no fly-a-away strips of paper to deal with afterwards.

A few points to respond to:
If upholstered furniture is old enough (pre about 1955 I think), it doesn't need a fire certificate. We thought we would have to throw out my stepmum's Art Deco suite (1940s) but in fact it was a collector's item and fetched over £700 at auction.

Things that may have archive or historical value (documents, photos) are only as much use as your filing system. If a few items of interest are stored in among mountains of dross, they'll all end up being binned.

EBay, car boot sales etc can be fun and raise some money but they're time consuming. When we were house-clearing, two of us had arrived in a small car and simply hadn't room to take much stuff away. Most things just had to go to charities or auctions. It makes more sense to sell or give away items once you've no further use for them, rather than leave it all for your children to sort or chuck in a skip.

Well, I am dreading sorting my mother's house out when she dies. She continually buys stuff she will never use and upstairs is like a warehouse.

She had said to me 'Don't throw my stuff out when I'm gone. It cost a lot you know.'

Well, I will be getting in a house clearance firm to deal with it. I've been through it once with my late mil, never again!!!

Brilliant idea. Thank you

I would never ever get rid of or shred family photos. I've got shelves full of albums and now make a printed photo book of the best digital photos each year. I think that though technology moves on and stuff on computers, discs , memory sticks etc may become lost, printed books of photos will always be available to view. If the family want to chuck it all out when I'm gone ,so be it, I wont be here, but atm they still show and interest at least in the more recent photos featuring people they remember! I also have a box of significant paper memories with some letters, programnes etc. Most of my parents stuff has gone, except some furniture, some (not all) books
- and some old china which is in the attic. Not sure what to do with the latter.
We have clwared the attick of a lot of stuff already including school and university notes for us both and lots of old carpeting etc which we thought might come in useful. It didnt!

I have felt so sad reading through these comments. My family were quite poor when I was little so we were always pleased when a "new to us" thing came along - furniture, books, clothes etc. So I've kept things and they are precious to me, but nowadays young people want to have all brand new. Like you magicwriter, my sons have said they will get a skip - so I am trying to do a bag a day of "weeding". The Marie Kondo method is quite useful - she says if you hold something to you and it gives you joy then to keep it. A lot of my stuff doesn't bring me joy - but it's hard work letting go!

Me neither pollyperkins - however DH is keen to shred loads of old photographs and I am having a struggle stopping him.

I am in the process of clearing stuff, much of it from my ancestors who have passed things down. Everything I clear out I initially ask my 3 daughters if they want various items, if they don't I send them to auction. The money I get from them I share out among my 7 grandchildren. I will continue to do this and, although I felt guilty at first, I no longer do. The items are with someone who appreciates them.