My good lady wife......nooooo!!

Ha’porthRosie I think it is unfair to describe Hilda Rumpole as a social climber. Socially, she outranks Horace (minor public school) as her father was his Head of Chambers, but she is professionally ambitious for her husband who is clearly NOT.

His wife Hilda was proud of her daddy (as she calls him), C.H. Wystan,[1] who was Rumpole's Head of Chambers, and she frequently advocates for Rumpole to seek a higher position in the legal world such as: Head of Chambers or Queen's Counsel or a judgeship

I am referred to, where appropriate, as the Social Secretary.

One of my DH’s friends refers to his wife as ‘The War Office’

superfluous 'and'

ps The Supreme Commander was from Blake's 7, if anyone remembers that series

Of course haporthrosie - why did I never connect Rumpole's She Who Must be Obeyed with the Rider Haggard book.
DH sometimes refers to me in that way or as 'The Supreme Commander' which is astonishing and as he has never knowingly done that in over 50 years.

I'm a book and fact-oholic, haporthrosie and had vague thoughts that it might be something to do with "She" but, I blush to admit, I have never actually read it. I love to be read to and think the Rumpole's would be good as audio-books, to rehear the one's I read so long ago - just as long as I don't fall asleep!

My friend's husband(from Yorkshire)always refers to her as "our lass " I think it's lovely. My brother still calls me "our kid" which makes people smile. DP calls me the Ayatollah!

Definitely not lovely jubbly! So Hyacinth Bucket. Pompous & cringe-making ... as with 'hubby' & 'wifey' teeth automatically go on edge.

GracesGran 'I'm his niece' - ten out of ten! V. insightful about the social-climbing, dreadful Hilda in 'Rumpole' as well. Still an absolute favourite programme - I treasure my old videos of it! Love the books as well.

Am in the camp of Saggi & others who feel that your wishes should be respected, Katek. Perhaps you could start referring to your DH in company as 'my old man,' 'this geezer 'ere' or 'the mush what I'm stuck with' til he gets the message?

Luzdoh 'gentleman wife' & Bluebelle 'this is my sister. sorry'

Pollyperkins, excellent point about an increasingly bizarre world where none of us - male or female - ever know if anything meant respectfully or sociably will bring down some strange wrath upon our confused heads. Lots of immature people out there who just enjoy being aggressive, I think.

MawBroon, my father/grandfather sometimes said 'the Memsahib' - tongues firmly in cheeks, of course! Various others in family still used 'the Dutch,' 'the old Dutch,' & 'trouble-&-strife' til quite recently. (I was also a 'dustbin lid' & a 'Gawd forbid' to them which I thought was marvelous!) If the old Dutch happened to be in a (usually quite justified) strop she then became 'er Nibs.'

There's something so lovely about the regional/old-fashioned terms like 'our lass' and 'wor lass.' Sort of comfort-foody. Have always quite liked 'er indoors' as well, it's just so funny - & I miss 'Minder.'

I'm a rotten book-bore, but if anyone's interested, 'She Who Must be Obeyed' which John Mortimer put to such wonderful use in 'Rumpole' comes from one of Rider Haggard's adventure novels, 'She.' She of the title is a sorceress-queen in Africa & SWMBO refers to her. Dreadful book really ... it involves hot-pots most definitely not of the Lancashire variety ... but worth it for the immortal phrase! (Don't mean to sound as if I'm implying others don't know this ... sorry if it came across as patronising ... there's a fine line between sharing & just seeming a snooty swot!)

Peaches, many thanks for including those of us on our tods!

Unfortunately it is not often " light hearted banter" but sheer vindictiveness " and ugly behaviour.

Gentleman Joseph

personally I prefer the "old bag" but I wouldn't let my wife hear me
I value the contents of my underwear too much

I know a man locally who describes his wife as ''the current Mrs XXXX''. I often wonder if he dare say that in her hearing!

If it irritates you so much, just tell him. Especially if you don't want to serve tea! Or tell him you will serve tea only if he stops calling you that.

I don't like that expression 'good lady wife' either although I don't associate it with any long-gone sitcom. If he wants to introduce you he should just say 'this is my wife (adding your name maybe)'

I don't like any of these expressions. In my opinion, though, the worst is 'THE wife' rather than 'my wife'. Needless to say DH would never say that about me, but if I ever hear it, I feel like asking (the wife? Which one, are there several?'

Good one GG?

I'm not sure I like the idea of 'shaming' a partner but if that is what you want to do how about, when he says "My good lady wife" adding, with a little wink, "I'm not of course, I'm his "niece".

Katek - may I recommend referring (loudly so that as many as poss. can hear you) to His Lordship as "my sweetie Hubby!"

Just thinking of calling a grown man a "hubby" sets my teeth on edge - I hope it does the same to him.

It's a word that makes him sound like one of those dinky toy dogs that people dress up in tartan jackets and stick twee bows in their hair.......

How about “SWAMBO” ? Meaning “She who always must be obeyed”. Think it originates from an old TV series, the name of which escapes me, but think the husband was a solicitor or something like that. I will remember it when I have posted this! I think that most of these expressions are terms of endearment, although admittedly, some can sound patronising. Men have a knack of doing that! Oh, think the TV programme was Rumpold of the Bailey???

On arriving for dinner in the first night of a cruise my DH introduced me as "the wife". One gentleman then asked me "what is your name my dear?" I replied "Mrs Wright, "oh " he said " I meant your first name" "oh " I replied, "my first name is Always". Had a good cruise, and no our name is not "Wright".

It just sounds really pompous and silly.

It sounds like Mrs Mainwaring. Don't panic!

I was always referred to by my late husband's friends and colleagues as 'Mrs Alf' - never bothered me a bit - at home he called me Dolly and in company usually kept to Dolly as well.

What about being called the little woman?

Yes, I would find it patronising, Katek. My OH apparently used to introduce his wife (now his ex) as 'this is my first wife'! I think you should do something similar - he might get the message. We tend to use 'other half', which doesn't seem to offend anyone.

Why not just tell him not to do it again as you don't like it?