Looking back

My only ambitions in my childhood and teens were to travel and to write. I was adamant that I didn’t want children.

Well, I’ve travelled, a lot! I’ve always prioritised it, so we’ve never had a big house or fancy lifestyle, but I’ve absolutely no regrets on that score and so many happy memories to look back on.

Oh, and I’ve 3 children and 4 grandsons, all of them currently happy, healthy and living near enough for us to see lots of them. They are my pride and joy - how could I ever have thought I didn’t want this?!

I’ve been very blessed and very lucky and take nothing for granted - life can change in a minute.

Though I might have enough time left to write that book.

I never had a master plan for my life, but my best decision was to go to work overseas as a teacher - a profession that is a great passport. Those five years proved to be the most memorable of my life. I came back to UK married and pregnant. There are no 'wrong' decisions, as, even when some things don't work out, good things can happen. The marriage didn't last, but my sons are at the centre of my life along with my lovely GC. The marriage break-up allowed me to be 'me', to take the kind of holidays I loved and to get involved in local politics.
Je ne regrette rien!

Wanted to work at something that would make a difference to peoples lives rather than make money for someone. Achieved that but at the cost of being poorly paid. Responsibly saved for my old age. Am now financially and emotionally supporting a grandchild with severe mental health problems. However after marrying far too young and him walking out on me (with my best friend) met the love of my life. He has severe health issues and is rather on borrowed time but we are happy together. My planned financial security hasn't worked out and I sometimes regret all those years of being responsible and wish I had travelled more, but in the main I'm content.

I always feel my life started after I married. I had a very lonely childhood. Was born 10 and 13 years after my sisters and was always told as a child that I was a mistake. I was a rather sensitive child and was bullied at school, but if I said anything at home was told to "just get on with it". Was introduced to my husband by a friend and we just hit it off. Met and married within 6 months, and have just celebrated our Golden wedding. Have 3 wonderful children and 6 grandchildren. Life has had its ups and downs, whose hasn't, but there have been so many more ups. I have so much more than I could ever have hoped for as a child and think I have been blessed.

I didn't have a life plan but I did love someone very much but we decided to go our own ways and if it was meant to be we would get together again. We each found someone else and there have certainly been plenty of ups and downs but life is OK and I've been lucky enough to have had some wonderful experiences over the years - and some ghastly ones. I'm glad I didn't have a life plan as the convoluted path I've followed has certainly been interesting!

A lot of your post really resonates with me Dontaskme .

Like you, I was full of fun when I was young. I had a large friendship group and had huge dreams of becoming a social worker and how "I would really make a difference". I passed my 11+ and was the only person in my family ever to do so. I had such high hopes.

Moving on... I got myself pregnant at 17 (almost 18) with a complete waste of space and my happy go lucky life came to a very abrupt end. I know I "made my bed" but what happened to the person I was supposed to be? Where did she go?

Dontaskme that is sad, do you feel able to share why you had to be 'normal' in your early twenties? I do know what you mean - until my late 30s I worked in a developing country and had an amazing time, but then had to return to the UK; after that, I had my dd, but other than that, I have always felt since then that I have become bored and boring

I wanted to fall in love get married, have children and a home and enjoy life. My first h cheated on me and I divorced him but he did give me 3 wonderful children and I was lucky enough to fall in love again and remarry. I have a gorgeous little dgs and another gc on the way and they make me so very happy. My house is far bigger than I thought I would ever have. I am financially better off than I could have imagined, but my health not so wonderful. One thing though, I never realised how much I would miss loved ones after they had died. I often still feel sad when I think I won't ever see them again.

Life was fun until I was in my early 20's then it all changed and I had to become "normal". The fun went, the dreams, the aspirations - everything just became dull, mundane and run of the mill. Work but not a career or profession, holidays but not travelling and adventure, house but never truly a home. Not at all what I expected and not what others would have expected for me, knowing the bright, happy, adventurous, intelligent up-for-anything girl I was.

Always wondered what life had in store for me. In my mid 30s eventually found a man who I wanted to 'settle down' with and we had two much wanted children. My husband unexpectedly died when children were in their early 20s. Then I just wanted to see my children happy and settled and didn't have much thought for me. Ten years on, totally shocked at the age of 70 to fall in love at first sight with an absolutely charming man - last thing on my mind. Am now wondering once again what life has in store for me!

Emotionally and financially abusive 1st husband that should read.
3rd time lucky, my lovely partner of 13 years has taken the edge off the sadness. Despite people saying you shouldnt have regrets, I do. If I hadnt married my first husband the whole of my life would have been better. Although I wouldnt have had my eldest 2 of course.

I always wanted to be a teacher and have babies.
Ive just finished 39 years of teaching and have 3 adult children.
What I didnt plan for was the misery of an emotionally and financially ist husband, a terrible mistake rebound 2nd marriage and the sadness that Ive missed out on a " normal" happy families" sort of life.

I wanted to be a Vet but decided I couldn't cope with operating on animals although I'm not squeamish (I once calved a cow on my own, long story), thought about being a Nanny but ended up focusing on Catering, I'm shy but quite sociable

I married at 22 when H & I took over the Tenancy of a Pub, H kept his job whilst I ran the Pub, he would phone several times a day & question everything I'd done when he wasn't there. I met someone else (a Pub regular, married with 4 children), left H after 6 months. My new Partner left his Wife & we had DD 5 years later.

We married when DD was 4, 15 months into the Marriage H2 walked out on us, I lost the house, had to give up my job as a Barmaid. I got a place at College & studied for 3 years moving to a new area. I had almost finished my College Course when I met DH3, fell madly in love & within 3 months DD & I had moved 250 miles away to live with him & his 2 children.

I had always wanted a large family, ended up with 1 of my own & 6 step-children

After DH retired I took Early Retirement (he was 14 years older than me & his health wasn't good). We downsized 5 years later & moved to Somerset, sadly he died 14 months after we moved, I lost the love of my life. I was only 57 when I was Widowed.

2 years later I moved again to be near DD & DGS, new life, new area, new friends. I'm 62 & loving life, now 2 DGS, DD is happy with her OH.

I would never have imagined I would move far from Yorkshire but my life has taken me from Yorkshire to Lancashire to Middlesex (Surrey) to Somerset to Devon where I plan to live out my days

No life plan although at 17 I thought I may become an Army wife until that relationship ended

My DM is still living in Yorkshire, in her own home, relatively healthy, she celebrates her 89th Birthday tomorrow & has already planned for her 90th next year

The good thing about getting older is wanting less and also realising there aren't that many more years to expect good things to happen and just being content to survive.

Exactly as planned (woven in was a bit of sadness through what I call normal life that we all have to deal with).

Some might say it was boring but it was enough for me.

Marmight {{{ hugs}}}

My only plan was not to have any regrets about missed opportunities.
On the whole I've been very lucky and regularly count my blessings.

Anniebach, you've been and are a lovely friend to me despite your own problems. You deserve happiness. ☺

No plans as such, but parents divorced in 1960 (such a no-no then!) Hopes of Uni, but I got pregnant at 17. Thank goodness my lovely mum helped me. Years go by, I'm 21, with a three year old, and working....go to college....have a teaching career,.... Meanwhile I have two loving relationships with decent men. They end because one is kind but gay (how did I not see this?!) and the other is kind but uncommitted. .. Eventually met DH and the rest, as they say, is history. So happy and been so lucky. DS got married so now have a lovely DiL and two DGC. Now DH & I are retired, happy, and feel so blessed.

Hello wotnot. That's a great question. I don't think I had a life plan beyond wanting a husband, home and family. My OH knew he wanted a military career but no plans beyond that. Married 56 years, 2 DS and 5 GC so I suppose things turned out almost the way I hoped but with lots of added diversions along the way. Never dreamed we'd end our years living in the sun. So lucky.

Having been brought up in a council house with very little money and creature comforts, my main ambitions when I was a child were to one day own my own house and have wall to wall fitted carpets instead of lino! I do own my own house but I have wooden floorboards. I would never had imagined that this could be fashionable rather than a sign of poverty.

After reading all these interesting replies one thing stands out for me - keeping in good health.
Life won't always be easy and happy, but if you have good health you can usually cope with the ups and downs.
The only thing I can think of for myself is that I wanted to have 2 boys and 2 girls. Which I did, but not in the way I expected - many problems along the way.
But TG things are going ok family-wise at the moment.
And I was very fortunate to have a long and interesting work life.

Anniebach so sorry to hear your story. My life has not turned out how I hoped. But I try to make the most of the cards I’ve been dealt. I always remember the saying..
Always be kind as everyone you see is fighting a battle of their own.

I never really had plans but, looking back, there were several times in my life when I really longed for something - the chap I fell in love with when I was fourteen and and have been married to since 1966, the career I eventually had, children and grandchildren who are all lovely, and a house which I looked at for years, wishing we could buy it and eventually did. It has been our family home for half my life.

Of course there were many other things I thought I wanted but didn't happen, but looking back, none of them seem important now.

I hope I can say I have been lucky without seeming smug. It doesn't mean I have had a charmed life with no problems. Of course I've had problems and can't actually remember any time when I had nothing to worry about but I think I have been very fortunate and reading the stories of others on GN, I certainly do count my blessings.

I didn't have plans. Being top of the class in typing and shorthand I gravitated towards office work and had some very interesting employment.
Spent time living in north Africa, Europe, and have travelled world wide.
Unheard of in the 60s.
My knight in shining armour .... wasn't. Too many years were spent trying to make the unworkable work.... literally. So many road bumps that evenually the wheels fell off my wagon.

However my second knight in shining armour keeps his armour sparkling... even after 23 years. He would fix the wheels on my wagon.

Nowadays young adults consider careers rather than just a job which is good.
I'd tell my younger self to think more of myself, I was better than I realised and capable of much more than I achieved, or was led to believe I could achieve.

Having said that, I am happier than ever. comfortable if not rich. Sometimes the bumps in the road still happen but I'm experience has taught me that I don't need to fix everything for everyone.
Family are all settled and I can only hope that a good and happy life continues for each of them.