Shattered illusions when you were very little?

My mother warned me, prior to a visit to a pair of her ancient aunts, 'if they offer you cake, say no, because it will be seed cake and you won't like it'. Of course, when offered the cake I only heard the magic word 'cake' and said 'yes, please' and ended up crying because it didn't taste like the cake I was used to. My mother was cross with me for showing her up. I must have been about 4.

Discovering that those little tobacconists with a sign up saying 'Players please' were not inviting people in to play some arcane game in the curtained off back room behind the counter, which always looked so mysterious but encouraging people to buy a certain brand of cigarette.

My late dear sister was puzzled by the sign 'Bill Stickers will be prosecuted' posted on every blank wall. She kept wondering what he had done.

Again these are all memories from when we were four or five.

judypark, I am imagining what a ‘teddy’ boy might look like in a 4-year-old’s mind. That is so funny.

I’m enjoying this thread.

I was in my 30s, so not very little, when I visited someone who asked me if I liked oxtail soup.
I replied that I did, and she told me she would let me have some when she had finished making it.
My eyes strayed to the kitchen sink, and there was an actual tail, with a fluffy bit on the end, which was soaking in water!
I hadn't realised it was made with a real tail, and I haven't eaten it since!

I was about 4 and overhead my parents saying that my regular Saturday night babysitter was bringing her boyfriend who was a teddy boy that evening. I was beside myself with excitement. Imagine my disappointment when she turned up with this spotty lad complete with drainpipes and a ducks arse haircut. Not a tuft of fur in sight.

One of my shattered illusions didn't occur until I was in my 20's! My grandad, who lived with us when I was a child, had an open fire, which was lit the traditional way, with newspaper, kindling and a match.

I knew there were these magical things called fire-lighters but my mum poo-pooed them as being totally unnecessary so they remained a mystery to me.

Fast forward some 20 years and I move to a house with an open fire. I purchase a pack of firefighters, ready to start a warming fire in the hearth.

Imagine my disappointment when I open the pack and found just a lot of rather smelly white squares that still needed a match to make a fire!

I have no idea what I was expecting but it wasn't that.

Bridgeit my DM used to say "because Y's a crooked letter and Z's not any better"
"Yes, mum, but Why?"

Neighbours were always known as Mr or Mrs Whoever, but friends of DM were known as 'aunties' and I remember realising that all these endless 'aunties' were just friends of DM and not real relatives and being very surprised (and relieved in one or two cases).

Being taken up to London for a photo session when I was about 5/6, and then to a restaurant for lunch with my aunt. I heard that there was Welsh Rarebit, (pronounced rabbit), so as I liked rabbit, that what was I asked for. What I actually got was posh cheese on toast. I have never forgotten the disappointment.

finding out where babies came from

When i was little my mum told me she was a "skin specialist" and I told all my friends.

Turned out she worked for a posh ladies shop that sold fur

witzend I too firmly believed that Daphne Oxenford et al lived inside our wireless.
But the real con was the buses that went to a place called Duplicate. The word fascinated me for some reason, and my parents insisted that Duplicate was somewhere ‘near New Mills’ in the Peak District, which seemed an exotic location. It was years before I clued on.

I just remember walking round the big old wireless looking for the man doing the talking. It was usually a man. I couldn't work out how he fitted in there. I suppose, like Witzend, I was 2 or 3.

My first visit, aged 7, to Piccadilly Circus. Nobody had told me it wasn’t a circus with a ring and dancing horses. In fact that first visit to London was full of shattered illusions. Buckingham Palace was a huge disappointment. I expected turrets at least. 10 Downing Street didn't even have a garden as far as I could see. It didn’t look anywhere near grand enough for a Ptime Minister to me.

not heard that one Bridgeit

I believed that AA men and policemen lived in their boxes on the side of the road.

Probably aged about 4 , when ever I asked my Mum the never ending question ‘why’? She would always reply because Z comes next ,took me a year or two to get it!