Ever been mortified by something you said?

I once asked a young lady in our office, who was born in this city to West Indian parents, 'what do Rastafarians believe in then?' She said 'How should I know, I'm a Brummie born and bred like you'. She never spoke to me again and I don't blame her.

One of my friends visited a friend of hers who had just had a baby boy. She asked what he was going to be named. The new mum proudly replied "Roger". To which my friend said "Oh, Roger the lodger, whatever made you choose that"? There was silence for a few seconds, then the proud dad said "Because that's MY name.

How comforting to read all the posts, I'm always doing it.

I was being so careful not to ask if a rather rotund friend was pregnant, as she had a one yr old, but wasn't losing the "baby fat"so it was about 3 weeks before her due date when I cautiously asked could she be . You didn't think think I was this fat did you, said she, -- you did didn't you!! I think she enjoyed keeping people guessing.

He sounds rather unfriendly - and I don't believe he's right. they eat cats and dogs (and a lot of other things too) in the country he comes from

I’m on sick leave having survived a brain haemorrhage. A lovely friend came to visit me and told me about the new open pie her local butcher has started making - “spaghetti bolognaise with a thick layer of cheese on top - it’s lovely but like a heart attack pie. I should gave brought you one!”
A seconds pause and then we both fell about laughing!!!

I have a similar story of saying to a patient ' Right Fred are you going to hop out of bed? This was Saturday and he'd had an amputation on Wednesday!

MOnica

Great post ! when I was a nurse years ago a family were sitting beside their father and they had papers for him that needed signing They asked me if I would oversee them signing and aI said No I am sorry I am not allowed to
with our code of conduct because if anything went wrong Jim wouldn’t have a leg to stand on to which I gasped as Jim was an amputee ! the family including Jim all burst out laughing fortunately !

I am just about to go out to an evening class, where one really nice lady said to another member "well, when you're widows like us...." (meaning herself and me). I said "goodness, do you have second sight? he was all right when I left"
I wasn't at all upset, fortunately, and neither of us had any idea why she might have thought I was widowed!

A friend and I were clothes shopping many years ago. As I picked out a rather lovely dress she said 'that will look good on you - it would look common on me but it would suit you' > I think she was trying to say the right thing but it all came out wrong. I just let it go.

When I was middle-aged I was talking to my best friend about another woman. I said "she's still got long hair and she's our age". I could have bitten my tongue off as my friend had long hair. I wanted to say that her hair was lovely and she suited it, but no words would have helped.

I was at a party on my own, as my husband had gone to a meeting. I was chatting to another lady on her own and said "Oh, has your husband left you as well?" She smiled sweetly, and I learnt afterwards that he had run off with the receptionist at his office.

I was newly pregnant, temping as a secretary in a government department in central London. My boss was friendly and would sometime chat for 5 minutes about this and that, including his month old baby.

One day he asked me if it could possibly be really tiring looking after a new baby. My head was full of my visions of my happy baby sleeping in the cot and me taking long walks with the pram along the riverside in the sunshine and I replied that I didn’t see how it could be that hard, not as hard as getting up early to catch the bus and train into central London and work in an office all day.

7 months later, with a baby who screamed so much she was exiled to a side ward in the maternity hospital at night, I knew different and often thought of my boss’s poor tired wife and my ignorant words.

I was 14 and my uncle had come to visit accompanied by his second wife who we hadn't met before.

At the dinner table, I commented on a strange whistling sound and was mortified (my toes still curl at the thought) when Aunt Joan replied "that's my hearing aid, dear, it's on the blink". She was quite all right about it, her daughter from her first marriage was my age and had to smother her giggles, my mother sent me the kind of look that kills.

Similar to anitampl I came out of a shop laden with packages and jumped into the back seat of a car at the taxi rank.
After settling myself I gave directions to the driver whose wife then appeared at the passenger side window looking mighty displeased.
I soon hopped out when he told me he wasn't a taxi, just waiting for his wife in the only parking spot he could find.

Thanks for this post. I’ve sat with a cuppa having a really good chuckle. Definitely brightened up my day.

Has anyone ever said to an overweight friend wearing a smocky kind of oufit: Congratulations! When's it due? Ouch, ouch and mega-ouch!

I once commented to my unmarried sister in law that my daughter said I was turning into a right old spinster !

At my son in law's funeral ( in USA) the local church laid on a buffet. My daughter and I were in the queue when an unknown lady pushed in front of us saying ' family first '
At least it made my daughter smile a little.

Many years ago, I took my young daughter with me to a Blood donation session. Afterwards, the donors had to rest on the trolley for 10 minutes.

My daughter looked at the chap on the next trolley and said in a loud voice, "You've only got one arm!" After a few seconds deliberation, she continued, "You can't clap!"

The chap found it highly amusing and thanked me for not intervening.

I knew someone who often worked abroad. When he told someone he was going to Egypt he was asked where that was, he replied north Africa. Oh the person said my sister lives in Johannesburg maybe you'll meet her, tell her I am fine . Some people ??

Not so much said as did. Son home from uni borrowed my car so was picking me up from work. Waiting for me in a pull in/turn around area near the car park. Gave him a little wave as I approached. Opened car door. Got in. Closed door. Turned round and found myself facing a complete stranger who said cheerily 'where would you like to go today madam?'. Looked out at my car which was identical colour and was parked behind and slightly overlapping car I was sitting in. My son was creased with laughter. Mortified.

I very recently answered the door to find two people, a man standing behind a woman who I thought were from the Salvation Army?Jehovahs Witnesses? standing there. they asked if I was busy and I said yes I was, very sorry. No I didn't want to talk. Could they come back. No I said but I smiled sweetly and closed the door. A few hours later I got a phone call from my tutor from Uni who I had recently found me on Facebook and now lived in France. Hello I said -she said 'can we visit you? I said ,yes when?' - she said 'well, now, we are round the corner, we came earlier but you sent us away.

Working in a hospital I was on a ward and saw a female patient I had seen a few times previously. As usual, she had a couple of visitors at her bedside and I remarked on how popular she must be to always have people visiting. She glared at me and replied that they weren’t friends - they were prison officers. I guess I should’ve noticed the handcuffs earlier.

After a school residential trip I was helping parents collect up their childrens’ bags and paraphernalia. One mother had a disability - (only one hand - possibly thalidomide related) and was struggling to carry everything, so I offered helpfully “do you want a hand?”.
Oh dear!!! Mortified!