Feeding your family = weighing 20 stone ??

It's the control issue. I'm asking advice on how to stop being a greedy guts in the face of temptation.

gmelon if only I knew. what I do know is after a life time of trying to be a size 12 and only managed a 14 although I have been a 20 and for a few weeks a 22 I am tired of the whole thing so its healthy eating and plenty of exercise for me. I count my calaries on about 5 days a week (weekends off) and try to keep some kind of lid on it. The enemy for me is boredom. If I don't have an activity day I pick more. I only bake if we are having visitors but even then they arrive and say 'Oh we not eating this or that at the moment' so we take them out to eat. I cook from fresh everyday but succumb to the nightly glass or two!

A visit to some of your freezers might help if I need a bit of fattening up

Am sure you'll never be a greedy guts!! But hope that unlike me you don't ever reach the point where lying in a bath was impossible as all my bones hurt,last year was at my son's in Australia for 6wks,daughters in Dubai had 3visits there never once wore a swimsuit because I looked so awful...will wear one this year though ?

Health issues - I have Multiple Sclerosis.

"Teetime" I understand in some measure how you feel. It can become obsessive and overly important. I'm happy you are managing well now.
I've been locked in that nightmare of wanting to be a certain size.

After a lifetime of an eating disorder, I'm stranded at a place where I'm not living normally.

Things got worse a decade ago.
I've been up to a size 22/24. and back down again to a size 6 about six or more times in the last ten years.
Each time it took a year to lose it then up I went again until clothes, embarrassment and basic mobility became a problem.

I ate strangely all my life and denied a problem.
As things got severe in the past few years I've received lots of medical assistance, been hospitalised through lack of nutrition, unfortunately the sterling assistance hasn't helped me change.

Current situation is that I'm stuck at a low body mass and it's been that way for a while.
I'm planning to use all my willpower to improve.
That's my back story.

Need advice on a measured approach.

Feel a bit of a wreck, like many of us but as Elton John would say "I'm still standing " (even if sometimes with help).

Gmelon, I guess that Carbs will be the way to go for you, plus some good fats, and protein. If you have had an eating disorder for so very long, then I’m sure it will be difficult for you, however, the Internet is a great place for sharing diet advice and that includes putting on weight as well as losing it.
Good luck, will power is easy to write down but a b****r to get a grip with.
I get bored and then I snack, I need to keep occupied or I would be heading for the diet books as well.
Just a thought, have you tried hypnosis?

I have a sil who would be about a size 6. She makes sure to ask questions of others, which always end up with her mentioning her tiny size and how she is fearful of gaining weight . I think it's her way of boasting about her size. Your post sounds much the same to me.

Size 6? I wouldn't worry too much about the calories.

Sorry, I have just read your more detailed post. Mary Berry was asked the same question and she said she does eat cake but only small portions, so I guess that would be a sliver of cake for most people. Personally I don't bake too much as we would/do end up eating too much. So I guess the answer is just to bake say once a month or perhaps on special occasions? The other point is of course that most of us are probably overweight, I read that over 60 percent of adults are overweight.

Full fat milk & yogurt, scrambled eggs etc take careGmelon you need to be strong with you having MS!!

If you have been yo -yoing up and down size 22 to size 6 and back then your body will be very confused and unfortunately not very healthy if you ve had hospitilation and loads of nutrional advice it’s obviously a brain thing and needs treating from a psychological point of view which would be beyond any advice you can get on here gmelon and I wouldn’t thnk something you can do yourself
Have you been referred to an eating disorder agency or psych artist I think that is the only way forward if you ve already been down that route without permanent help I m not sure what you can do

Stella1949 Yours is rather a harsh comment.
You are so very, very, wrong. My life has been a misery. I'd do anything to be free of this. I'm constantly fending off comments about "bag of bones. " Trapped in a cycle that grips your mind. Not vain or self pitying, just had enough.

Most of my life I happily kept this a secret because my mind tells me everything's fine. No boasting there. For decades the case was I'd rather be left alone, draw no attention to myself . Then no one will notice. and I'll be free to carry on.

This suited my mind fine but I made friends with a new neighbour (retired nurse) who started popping in daily (far too much) , she seemed to just take over and catch on straight away that i was in a stage of not eating and was weak. She told my closest family and friends .
I could have cheerfully strangled her. I was furious.

Everyone is so very helpful. Thank you for being kind.
I truly started this post to get some tips on your cooking routines.

Portion size comes into this.

I don't bake regularly either, or I would put on too much weight. Treat your self one a month or so unless you have visitors.
I have been feeling rough this week with a poor appetite and I have met my target weight. Maybe it is time for a cake .

Then it felt kind of dishonest not to tell the back story.
Sorry for not spilling the beans straight away .

I think a good few people struggle with what is a healthy attitude to eating nice food.
I know I do!

I've had psychiatric care for the last few years . I can't co- operate with the advice. I think I'm fine when I'm in that mindset.
I get very beligerent.
I agree with the medical professionals that ultimately it's in my hands to change.

I'm sure the fact that you recognise the depth of your denial that there's a problem is a positive, though.
A problem shared is a problem halved, so 'they' say.

Gmelon, if you really miss baking can you find some neighbours who would appreciate your efforts? I was trying some American cake recipes with ‘frosting’ on, I knew that if I started to sample them I would eat them all.
I have a few elderly neighbours, they nearly bit my arm off when I took the plates around. Problem was that it became a bit expensive, but it gets the need to bake out of my system now and again.

On a slightly different note, does anyone realise the size of dinner plates nowadays? I have masses of vintage crockery
( long story, which we don’t mention at home) and the dinner plates are so much smaller than modern ones.
When I get back from holiday I’m going to start using them, portion control is on its way...... only problem is that I’ll have to hand wash them.

gmelon thanks for telling the full story. I was anorexic in my teens until I got away from my mother and I've never been over weight, but I lost a stone after a 'bad' time in life 10 years ago and managed to keep it off and then another stone after another 'bad' time a few years later. For me, keeping the scales handy and weighing once a week does it. If my weight hasn't changed, that's OK. If it has gone up then biscuits and second helpings go and the dog gets an extra mile a day. Everyone's weight varies a bit, depending on hormones, weather, water retention etc. but regular weighing and not letting my belt out seems to work. The big incentive is that my knee and hip problems disappeared with the second stone, although I do more heavy lifting as my husband's carer, and I don't want them back. I'm more active than I was before I retired, and most of my baking goes home with my daughters-in-law so I don't get fat on it. They don't either, although they assure me that they love the cake! Maybe that's another bonus - 'brownie' points from daughters-in-law!

"bagatelle" Thank you for telling me you story.

Wonderfully detailed advice from you all.
Freeze things, give baked treats away, my neighbours will love the Gransnetters for this.
I've four grandchildren , recently arrived in my life and my heart. Estranged son got in touch after 9yrs with a surprise of wife and four children.
Unfortunately/fortunately they are the sugar police parents.

I'm asking advice on how to stop being a greedy guts in the face of temptation.

I could be a greedy guts if faced with temptation - if I baked a cake I could, over a few days, eat quite a lot of it and DH would have a slice or two. I rarely bake, but if I do I freeze portions and if not faced with it, I can forget about it.
Sometimes my will power is just fine but if I am anxious it wavers. I found a very large box of chocolates which I bought at Christmas and forgot about - as I have decided not to eat chocolate for Lent it is in the sideboard and I think about it occasionally but haven't opened it.

If I was on my own I would cook healthy, tasty meals when I was in the mood or felt like cooking and freeze. As it is, I cook most days (sometimes freezing extra in portions too).

DS and DIL don't eat sweet things but they don't mind if the DGC have some occasionally. DGD's favourite thing to make is a smoothie - easy to make, drink and probably full of calories so that could be an idea for you (banana, fruit, full fat yogurt or milk and she likes to add good icecream too).

gmelon such good news about your son and family being in your life after so long. Delighted for you.

I d like to congratulate you on such an incitful attitude to your life problems I do hope you find an answer I ve got zero control over food if it’s in the house so try not to buy things I really love more than once a week
I ve also had a 6 stone period not because I thought I was fat but through sheer unhappiness now it’s the opposite if I get unhappy I look for food . Guess we never get it right really