Desperately unhappy, being bullied at work

I'm so sorry growingold, there is no excuse for this behaviour. I second advice to read your contract, carefully, and speak with ACAS, your Trades Union if you have one, your HR department if there is one or the CAB. ACAS aren't just there for the employer, they are very helpful to employees. Another thought is if you have legal advice available to you via your home insurance that could be helpful. Get as much support as you can, it will help you feel less alone and as bullies tend to work covertly your manager may have a re-think if she knows her actions are no longer between the two of you. It sometimes feels difficult to do but I agree, document everything in as much detail as you can. Easy to say I know but try not to worry, there is support for you. Wishing you a peaceful weekend, relax as much as you can, you've done nothing wrong.

If it is a possibility that this woman is trying to engineer your departure then you should check your contract very carefully to see if you have grounds for a case of Constructive Dismissal. You say you need to work, but if it's having a continuously detrimental affect on your health you may be better off finding another job.
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/leaving-a-job/dismissal/claiming-constructive-dismissal/

Is this a small business or does it have other rungs in the hierarchy and an HR department to whom you can turn?

Do you belong to a union.

I am so sorry that you are being subjected to this bullying at the end of a long career. It is totally out of order.

*Growing old disgracefully. I deduce you work for a reasonable size company where your manager is not the owner.

You will have a contract of employment. Get that out and read it. This will set out your conditions of work and by every standard this lady is breaching it.

Quite simply she has no right to expect you to come in on days you are not working and certainly has no right to demand to know what you do on the days you are not working.

You should tell her firmly that you have your days and hours of work and she cannot expect you to work on other days and what you do in your time is your business not hers.

I think what she is trying to do is get you to resign. Why, I do not know, but if you do you will have a case against the company for constructive dismissal. Keep a diary of everything that happens. Write a retrospective account of everything that has already happened including your ill health from stress. Go and talk to Citizens Advice or seek legal advice.

The thing with bullies is they have to be stood up to, it isn't easy but if you give way and let them see you are bothered they keep it up.

I was bullied at work, but I really kicked up a stink. When HR did nothing I went to the union and threatened a grievance procedure. I did not get the full result I wanted, but I got the manager off my back, until, in my own time and when I was ready I chose to take advantage of a voluntary redundancy scheme. By that time the manager had moved on.

Gosh that sounds horrible is there no one higher up you can go to? Do you have an HR dept or do you belong to a union? You certainly shouldn’t have to explain to anyone what you do outside of work she insists I have to get her permission for my activities outside work that is not something that you need to answer to at all
Is she as bad with the other part timer if so can you get together to make a complaint
This can’t go on

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=2042
Acas are very helpful, and very pleasant to speak to on the phone.

She sounds like an utter nightmare. Have you got a HR department? Write absolutely everything down with dates, times, people who witnessed her bullying. Then I’d take it to them under your company grievance policy, if you have one.

It sounds as if this person is being very unreasonable and unpleasant but do check all the details on your contract first and foremost. It should become clear then if she is completely out of line.

Oh hell! Do you have a union?
This can't be allowed to carry on!