What irritates you about other Gransnetters?

It isn't just AIBU - it is other threads where they don't bother to read. e.g. Poster asks for advice and gets plenty and then up pops someone who says 'try X' when that was suggested 2 days before and OP has already explained that she had tried it and it didn't work!

Granny23, I think in part that is a tone issue, and I hasten to say, not confined to these forums!

It seems to crop up a lot, in my experience, on forums about family troubles in particular.

And it's not even the advice, it's how it's being presented.

"You should just do X" can indeed easily come off the way you describe, when if the exact same advice was presented as "Did you already try X, and what happened when you did?" or "Is there a reason that X wouldn't work for you?" the unfortunate implication you describe wouldn't arise.

It does lead to some unnecessary aggravation on threads with an upset OP and other posters giving advice with good intentions, who now are angry at the OP's upset and irritated response.

It's easy to forget that the OP's problem is very real.

This whole thread is irritating me.
But as the the question was asked, those who know there is only one opinion which counts and it is theirs.
This does not happen often but it gets my back up when it does.

Posters who launch into a topic from the news and assume that everyone knows what they're talking about. Why can't they post a link as well?

An OP that starts with an exclamation mark. A trivial irritation, and not specifically about this one.

It's a loaded question really. GN is a microcosm of any cross section of people, all having different experiences that shape varying opinions, some of which end up on these forums. As in life, some may get on one's nerves and correspondingly any of us may get on their nerves. That's life!

Understandable when a link hasn’t been posted as there are members, myself included, haven’t mastered the art of doing so

If I’m unsure of the topic being discussed, I google it then return to the thread.

This whole thread is irritating me.
Couldn't agree more ann

annsixty

Gummybears Thank you, that explanation is very perceptive and rings true. I hope it gives posters food for thought.

Baggs said their good intentions are the point - Well, Yes, and normally that would be appreciated. If, however, the OP is in really dire straits then they may interpret these comments as mere platitudes or 'deal with it' which they cannot do at that point.

The best advice I have been given on GN was the suggestion that I join the AS Talking Point forum, where everyone has experience of caring for someone with Dementia and therefore truly understands the problems and emotional turmoil. This kind of 'advice' i.e. a referral to specialist help is one of the most useful and positive aspects of GN.

I irritate myself sometimes when the thread is long and I post without reading the whole thread I also sometimes worry that I have posted regarding a person's problem and made the thread about my problems and not theirs!

I have just discovered what makes me grit my teeth and want to throw something at the computer when I see it on GN. It is all those posters who love parading their working class origins and dismiss anything they do not know or have never experienced as being something only 'posh' people do/say/experience. The inference being that by not being 'posh' (whatever that means) they have some superior virtue that those who are 'posh' do not have and that anybody who has something they do not have or knows something they do not know are therefore less virtuous and deserve all the contempt they pour upon them.

It is a most unattractive characteristic and does its perpetrators no kindnesses.

I think that's OK as it could give the OP a different perspective on their problems KatyK

MOnica YES! None of us have any control over which level of society we are born into and some none over the one they are in now. I was accused of 'polishing my halo', because I said I had provided for my retirement, by someone who I can only assume was not able to do so. I hadn't complained about anyone who had not done so.

I recognise that we all have difficulty really understanding how anyone outside our own place in society lives unless we have worked with people in a different position. I find it hard to understand how anyone really wealthy lives as well as anyone on the poverty line and therefore I don't judge any of them.

Thank you Marydoll for the link to competition winners thread, and thanks also to others, for their good wishes.

I'm still smiling at a comment a page or two back about Schrödinger's cat being 'put out'. I'm imagining a discomfited cat outside the back door!

That poor cat must be having a confusing time.

People who get irritated by things that don't really matter. Like - those of us who don't post links

Those who are easily ‘irritated’.

I get irritated by the ones who DO post links. Pages and pages of them.

The cat will only be confused if it is alive!

merlot

I agree with those posters who find it irritating when they write a post, it is then ignored and later the same idea applauded when someone else has written it . I also agree that we are being a tinsy bit childish in feeling this way!
I am also annoyed when a thread is started about something quite trivial but nonetheless amusing,only to be told that there are far worse things to worry about ! I guess that comes under the patronising thing that some people have mentioned.

Don't bother letting the cat in. It'll only want to go out again immediately.

Unclear thread titles irritate me a bit. I have a slow internet connection and it's annoying to wait for a thread to load only to find it's not something I'm interested in.

People using the general term 'we' when talking about a certain section of society. How can anyone possibly know what everyone in that part of society feels?

Also people who use unnecessary CAPITAL letters in their posts. It's rude to shout. If you want emphasis, there are bold and italic options to use.

Oh ... Perhaps people are not all so tech savvy. I'm sure they are only trying to emphasise and not shout.

SuedonimI'll put my hand up to that one too..I've always used capitals to emphasise a point,even when writing longhand with pen and paper.I'm not a shouty person.I do know I irritated you with the capitals in the past.I will try to find the bold or italics but I cant promise ..capitals are just simpler ...for me .

The deal with it thing was about dealing with the irritation of people trying to help by suggesting solutions, g23.

I do get the dire straits thing and how awful it is to have an insoluble problem but I don't think it's reasonable to pour one's heart out about a dire strait situation and to expect that no-one will take the "here's a solution for you" path. Unless one is a well-trained psychologist, the natural reaction to someone else's dire strait is often to offer what one thinks is help.

It's only Gransnet, a chat forum. We're only ordinary mortals. It's easy to get it wrong.

I know this doesn't help dire straits situations. Does anything? Maybe we need a virtual sobbing room where no-one is allowed to offer anything but a shoulder to cry on.

This is all said kindly even if it doesn't look like that. Print is crap sometimes.