Courage

Daisy - So sorry you're feeling like this. Hoping the sympathy and encouragement offered by Gransnetters help. You need people in your community to support you too. Are there any community groups or befriending organisation to help? Your health centre or Library may have a list. Age Concern may be able to help. You never know what might prove helpful.

Anxiety cripples people's lives, I know. My 23 year old GD has suffered for years. She lost a good job because she couldn't get to work on time and gradually retreated to her home, no longer able to use public transport. After programmes of counselling and medication she seems to be improving at last.

Yes, I used to get them. Usually after a stressful period was over rather than during. I I get them occasionally now and recognise them when they come. I tell myself firmly that they are a set of physical symptoms, not a sign of impending doom and treat them like a headache. Find a paper bag and breathe into it and stay still until it has gone, much as I would take ibuprofen for a headache.

Why the disgust? I'm 59, and have had anxiety attacks on and off for almost 30 years. It's nothing to do with age. I know, looking back, what triggered mine - there was a story in the news about a child being attacked and killed by Rottweillers. We had 2 living across the road from us, at the time, and my 2 sons were little....I feared for their safety, and the anxiety started from there.

I had an understanding GP who prescribed beta-blockers and antidepressants, which helped. Once I felt better, we sold the house, moved across town (where we've been for 26yrs now)

I'm not suggesting moving house! But certainly get some help from your GP. I have the type of nature to worry (often unnecessarily) and to get very low moods - but I know what triggers those episodes, and I take medication. Good luck - and you have no need at all to be "disgusted"

Thanks so much everyone for taking the time to reply. It really does help to know you're not alone.

Dear Daisy - as other Gransnetters have said, there is nothing cowardly about having a panic attack, or having anxiety, so be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone you love and care about. Your GP may refer you for CBT which really could help - it helps you see the thought patterns which lead to the attacks and challenge and change them. Go for it! I really feel for you. With love Applegran

‘Saved’

It’s knowing what triggers your anxiety attacks that’s the key. I had one once .... I was coming into work on the bus and looked over to the hospital where my daughter had just been dis bathed after yet another serious asthma attack. All of a sudden my heart went into meltdown .... it was beating 200 beats a min it seemed to me...I was sweating ....felt I was choking, thought I was having a heart attack! How I managed to get off that bus and find my way home is beyond me. I literally fell in the door and my husband called a doctor( those were the days eh!?). My extremely sensible old fashioned doctor came and told me I’d had a panic attack and asked what I was doing when it occurred. I told him about looking over to the hospital and thinking how glad I was that my daughter had lived through another trauma . He said “there you go, that’s it, stressing over her has done this”. My daughter was 6 and she’d been in hospital 8 times ....she was to eventually to be hospitalised 34 times.!!! I never had another attack. Thanks mostly to a very clever understanding old fashioned doctor . No counsellors... no treatment..... just a very knowing calm doctor! He da ed my daughter many times with his quick descisive action ...and that day he da ed me from a life of panic attacks!

Daisy it must be scary when you live alone and are ill.I have only thought about this recently as I have a friend in that situation. Are you ill at the moment? Wishing you well.
As to the anxiety and panic attacks, you do need a self calming strategy.Some good advice already been given on here.

Being old, and alone and ill is so sad and frightening Daisy

Would it help you feel less isolated if you had one of those panic buttons that some already have on here. I know you generally have to pay a fee, but it might make you feel there’s help on hand if something happens???

Anxiety attacks are awful as you have no control over them, and you can't switch your anxiety off, I also have PTSD, I got counselling through my work, the counsellor was great, and it did help, I do hope you can get help with this???

There is nothing cowardly about panic attacks. It has taken me many years and a lot of counselling, psychotherapy and CBT to come to terms with them and accept them for what they are and it's helped. Please see your doctor and talk to him.

Every sympathy to you Daisy. I've been in your situation .
Eventually I sought help and was sent to Cognitive Therapy classes which taught me how to handle the anxiety attacks.
Maybe you could get your doctor to refer you if there is similar help available in your area. It's all about controlling your breathing and telling yourself that you are not actually going to have a heart attack, or whatever. In time it works.
Good luck to you. I agree about being old and living alone, but being ill is a whole different matter. You are not a coward at all, just human.

Bless you Daisy, I hope some of the strategies suggested by the Gransnet sisterhood help you.
Also please remember that as we age we become less certain, we can't rely on our ageing bodies or minds so we are prone to "twittering"-not at all as serious as anxiety but we're nearly all on the starting blocks!
Good luck and God bless

Daisy, it’s horrible when such things happen, and there are so many of us that have the same problem. I found mindfulness training so very helpful. CBT was out of my price range and not available through GP. Tablets didn’t really help as once I stopped them it all came back. Armchair yoga also helped. There is a lot on the internet that you can try. See what fits best, but do go to your GP and see what they can offer you. Be brutally honest with them though. Hope you recover soon.

I really feel for you, I had anxiety attacks when going through the menopause and had two or three very early in my first marriage when I knew I had married the wrong man to please my parents.
They are very scary and you feel totally out of control. I had help from my GP who sent me for CBT as antidepressants, which she tried first, made me worse. CBT was wonderful, I had two sets of eight sessions and learned so much. I’ve had no problems since. My daughter in law has also had CBT to help her overcome post natal depression, she has also found it invaluable. I was lucky and didn’t have to wait for treatment although I know in some areas there are waiting lists. It is possible to have private CBT but I don’t know how expensive it would be. Thinking of you and I do hope you get the help you need really quickly. ?

Please don't think of yourself as a coward, you are human and everybody has trouble coping at sometime or other. If this is the first time you have had to deal with the mental side of a physical illness then try to be kind to yourself, there is always such good advice on here can I just add relaxation exercises there are plenty on the internet.

As Bette Davis famously said "getting old isn't for cissies". Having worked in "aged care" for many years I thought I had sort of faced the issues if somewhat vicariously. Ha Ha. It looks very different close up. It's all fine and dandy when we are sailing along, doing pretty well, not too bad etc. But it looks very different when health issues, family problems, isolation, loneliness start rearing their ugly heads.

I don't know the answers, wish I did. There is no right or wrong answer or solution. Seek professional help about the specific health issues, cherish your friends and family and most of all cherish yourself. You are a survivor and you are strong. You are not a coward. Do whatever gives you pleasure and comfort and tomorrow the sun will still rise and bathe the world in beauty. Take care of yourself. ?

Daisynance123 I’ve only just seen your post and all the good advice you’ve been given especially about not beating yourself up about it. Remember that this is nothing to do with your strength, courage or anything else, it’s an illness that has been visited on you, it’s not part of you. You are facing up to it and looking for ways of coping, that’s bravery. I do hope your GP will be helpful and you will be through this soon.

Gosh, Daisy, put away any feeling of disgust! You've had a physical reaction to a stressful event. It's not a 'failure of moral fibre' or whatever others might once have said.

A while ago I had the most terrible migraine ever, far worse than any others I've had. I saw the doctor and it turned out to be a panic attack alongside the migraine, probably caused by the physical stress of the migraine. I was given a simple beta blocker tablet and within half an hour I felt my old self again.

Do seek some help for this, alongside 'futureproofing' your life. There's no point in enduring undue suffering.

This happened to me last year, I thought my heart was going to burst out of my body. I can only assume it was a panic attAck. It was terrifying. Please speak to your doctor and though I have no advice, others on here do. Good luck daisy.
Let us know how you are getting on. We are always here. You are not alone.

Anxiety attacks are grim; do not make it even worse by beating yourself up about lack of courage. It is illogical. Seek treatment for it as you would for a broken leg. You are one of many. It has nothing to do with courage.

I do hope that you get some help for this soon.

daisy as others have said this is not a failure of courage you have plenty - writing to us here shows that. What you have is a clinical condition which is manageable but you need help with it. First port of call the GP- let us know how you get on.

Daisy sorry no advice, just want to say I'm feeling sad for you. I expect others will be able to help.

After several traumatic life events, I now find I suffer with general anxiety disorder. It has got so bad lately that I am almost afraid to go out. There is no logic attached to this and people can't understand it as on the surface I have a nice life but the fact is I am scared all the time I agree with others to see your GP before it gets out of hand. People who suffer from anxiety are very brave people, as no one can understand how awful it is unless they've suffered. There is no need to feel disgust with yourself. These things happen to the best of us. Good luck

Totally agree daisy, please don’t blame yourself about this. It was once explained to me that anxiety is necessary at ‘normal’ levels or people simply wouldn’t exist as we’d all be doing really dangerous things. So in its proper place anxiety keeps us safe. The problem comes when anxiety is triggered inappropriately and begins to overwhelm us in an anxiety or panic attack which are thoroughly unpleasant and can be frightening. It’s not about being weak, it’s oh so common as others have said. Again I’m agreeing, please do speak with your GP, there is a lot of help available, simple techniques can help a lot so yes, an internet search can also help. Wishing you well, you’ve made the first step by acknowledging what’s happening .