Child home alone

I was told that someone we know, aged 17, was not attending school regularly because he was home alone (parents separated) and that the school had threatened to bring in Social Services.
However, someone could be married at that age, a parent at that age responsible for another human being etc.

I think that a 12 year old left alone for that length of time would be lonely and susceptible to all kinds of influences online or outside of the home.

Still in the last year of junior school my sister and me had to get ourselves up and get to school on our own.
When I was 14 my mother had another baby. When he was a month old my mother was admitted to a mental hospital.
My schooling stopped there. With the help of neighbours and a wonderful welfare lady, I coped.
I don't believe children have changed that much and I don't feel we give them much credit or opportunity to mature.
I'm fully aware of all the dangers that are out there, and so are most children.

The trouble might start if the child has friends round or goes to friends. Plus Porn, drugs, grooming, etc did not exist for the average person when I and my children were young. Probably todays youth are less naive than I was, and have been taught to cope. I think it very sad that this is now the way of the world - but has always been so in many other parts of the world.

The helpful NSPCC info is below.

There are no legal restrictions on the time children can be home alone, but the law would come down heavily on children who might be left alone.
It seems that somewhere along the way no one has actually thought about such legislation.

www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/keeping-children-safe/leaving-child-home-alone/

My friend could leave her children alone in the house, as long as the oldest child (15) wasn't in.
She would come home to pandemonium if he was left in charge.

I think the word circumstances comes into this discussion. Some children are inherently sensible at a very young age, others aren't. We refused to let DD go out for the day with one friend when they were both 15, because the friend was immature and silly and had a reputation for risky behaviour, which DD would not be able to control. When the 15 year old was replaced by another friend who was not yet 14 we agreed because we knew the younger girl was a sensible and mature, as was DD.

Some of my grandchildren are being deliberately raised to be independent. They play out with the neighbouring kids until nightfall and are left home alone while a parent pops to the shop or walks the dog. They are 6 and 8 and trusted to be sensible.
Twelve hours is too long for one lonely child to be left alone but surely wouldn’t happen if the parents could avoid it.

It seems its not a new thing then, judging by members here.

It’s a difficult one. I was left it my own devices pretty much at that age, both indoors and out. If my DD left my 11 year old GS alone for that long, I would be horrified, but I have to think that at the same age my son was travelling to and from his boarding school - by plane to see us abroad in the long holidays, and by train from the south of England to stay with my sister in Yorkshire for the shorter ones - with a minimum of adult supervision. I don’t remember being unduly concerned for his safety, and he took it in his stride, including changing trains. It depends a lot on the level of maturity of the child, I suppose.

We were left alone a lot as children ( no choice for Mother)
And much too young too, but it would have been a children's home otherwise for us.
Sometimes these things are need driven, but there are some
Awful parents out there who will leave children alone through choice ( even go on holiday!)

12 hours is a very long time if it happens regularly, but I suppose needs must for some families. However, the OP on the Mumsnet thread talks about not allowing her 12 year old to use the toaster while she's out, so the child mustn't be very self-sufficient. My DP ran a workingmen's club at one time, and I used to be on my own in the rambling old house next door six evenings out of seven. Not for 12 hours, but from 5pm, and I'd put myself to bed. The only time I saw a soul was when someone would rush through to collect the pies and peas, which I used to cook and dish out. I was 10 at the time! I can't remember feeling at all deprived, in fact I loved having the responsibility, but I'm glad that my DC had very different bedtime routines.

My 15 yr old GS stays alone but the 11 yr old comes to me , eldest is on the phone to his Dad every 30 minutes just to check that all is well . He could come to me but my house is boring !

I recall an item on our local news early last summer when the police were intending to call on at homes where children were being left while parent/parents were at work so I imagine this is a widespread problem.
With even the most sensible children, accidents can and do happen. It is very worrying that parents are being forced to leave their child or children alone for long periods just to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table.

My grandchildren could not be accepted alone on an Easyjet plane to visit me. They would have been delivered to the departure gate and met on arrival. Grandson was a couple of months short of 16, and grand-daughter was 13, both sensible young people. Yet they could have travelled by train - a much longer, more complicated journey, with more chance of being "befriended" by a dodgy fellow-traveller.

"EasyJet does not accept unaccompanied minors under the age of 14. Children under 14 years of age cannot travel unless accompanied by a person aged 16 years or older who will take responsibility for the minor."

The mumsnetters have no air of reluctantly leaving the child/ren. Or being worried about leaving them but finances force the issue.

It seems that it's an acceptable normal practice and nothing to be concerned about. Lots of "perfectly happy to leave them" posts.

The daughter in question, she'd be totally alone.

These children aren't caring for siblings when circumstance forces issues. That's rather different and unavoidable.

This thread has just come on the day our DGC who is 10 has been left in the care of her BB who is 13. Mum goes work for 9am and her lunch hour is 12.30-1.30 so will be going home for that. She'll finish at 5pm and gets home at 5.10pm.
Both children are mature for their age. Parents are confident they will be ok. Emergency plans are in place.
Yes I'm concerned but have been told that they are not my children only GC, so I have to stand back. I have phoned and spoken to both GC about 11am and everything is fine actually both are very happy that they are trusted to stay on their own.

Oh no, its fine grannybags
I didn't think you were.

Sorry Miss A X posts. I certainly wasn't commenting on your situation

My great niece is 11 and is a very sensible child but the thought of her being left alone for 12 hrs would be dreadful.

Not only the opening doors to strangers fear but what they would get up to on social media etc without any supervision, especially once boredom set in and they would maybe be led onto sites they wouldn't normally visit.

I understand that it may have to happen occasionally but surely not every day

I'm expecting that when I find a job, my grandson is going to have times when he will be on his own. (Not 12 hours though)
The expectation is that once a child is 5, parents will work.
I have no family to step in, so we'll have to manage as best we can.

Difficult thread to comment on for me.

Can't say I'm in favour of leaving a 12 yr old for that long.

However, I was younger than that when I was left in sole care of my mum and younger sister while my dad worked away for weeks at a time on long contracts.

Sometimes choices aren't always clear cut and families do what they have to to get by.

Still don't like these situations but ...

I think, from my own experience of being left in charge of my siblings for that length of time at the same age, that twelve hours is too long. I can remember being very stressed and clock watching long before my mother was due home. Many twelve year olds are mature and sensible, as I was, but I think it's just too much to ask. I'm guessing that this only happens during the school holidays and that plans are put in place for emergencies, but the child is carrying a weight of responsibility beyond his/her years.

My 12 year old grandmother cared for her three younger siblings whilst her mother worked 14 hours a day at the local squires house.
I know it was a long time ago. I'm just saying........

in a world when many families are struggling to keep a roof over their heads undesirable things happen. 12 year olds vary a lot, some are responsible enough by that age, others not.

When something similar was happening with a neighbour's child they would sometimes come round and eat with us or with other local families who had children.

How can you tell your children to stay safe and not answer the door to anyone and then get food delivered? 10 yrs old is too young anyway.
We used to call them Latch key kids, didn’t approve of it then and still don’t, but I’m old fashioned I guess.

I don’t think I’d last long on Mumsnet!