Welcome to the new Argy Bar and cafe, abandon hope all ye who enter here.?

Btw, soop popped in with a haggis quiche for us for this evening, have left it on the bar top.Enjoy!

people are sooo unkind Meno I mean, who cares if you have a tin leg? Once your fish nets are on, nobody will be any the wiser!

meno I'm so sorry. I thought your lopsided bum was just due to the way you walk I didn't realise it was due to half an operation. Could you not just stuff one of the ferrets in your trousers to even up the other side? ?

That so called silver wasn't the real deal so I could only get half the surgery done which is why I'm a bit lopsided, so kind of you to bring it up Marydoll, maybe you can lead the donations to get the other side done

What about the song from "Paint Your Wagon", They call the wind Maria Doodle?

I have to tell you, the man came to quote for a new alarm today, A Silver Fox if ever I saw one. I was swooning. (and he had all his own teeth!).
I asked him to come and give a quote for a new alarm in the Argy, despite the fact that there is nothing left to steal, after Meno sold the silver to pay for her surgery. (It's a private matter she doesn't like the patrons discussing it. )

How about a rendition of the 1812 overture. I think with a little of the ferret curry I could manage that or perhaps the music from Gone with the Wind. ? Just don't stand too close or you might get blasted out of the windows ??

Stewed slowly in poteen? Yum yum de dum de dum de duuum

ferret curry perhaps? They are breeding in the cellar!

That's one hell of a curry

Dum dum dum dum dum dum duuum

De da dum…...de DAH! I think that would sound wonderful.

2001 space odyssey would be an achievement

in that case Doodle perhaps you could do the same act as POGS used to do [she is recovered now and not so windy] which is farting songs from the Shows, start with something easy [ The Sound Of Music?] when we have a Talent Nite.

Well I did have rather a lot of curry [blush[

I counted 21 guns, I thought the Queen was in town

marydoll how could you. ? Fancy telling a newcomer about my gastric problems. It's not my fault that you were in the line of fire after I ate some of chewy's curried rat. mind you those servicemen we had in the bar were surprised because they thought it was a ten gun salute going off (until the smell wafted their way ?)

. Don't worry we are used to gale force wind coming from Doodle, so nothing to worry about. Just let it rip.
On second thoughts, maybe not. You may rip your catsuit. ?

I have finally decided on my red pvc catsuit as I thought this might be useful with the poteen challenge as I’m bound to spill some.
I would love to play twister but am a bit worried the pvc might rub and chaf as I try to get into various positions on the twister mat also I do suffer with wind when I exercise after a drink .

Welcome nanyali you of course need to take the poteen challenge as a form of membership to the Argy, I've made a new batch so you have to down a pint on your first visit but once that's over you are most welcome. No takers for twister you bunch of cowards!

marydoll fret not. I saw the builders when they left and they all said your dance was so wonderful they were completely overcome, at least I think that was what they said ?
Welcome nanyali you will be fine in the Argy as long as you don't eat or drink anything and don't go near any of the eligible men although you'd be hard pressed to find any of those around ?

welcome Nannyali the Argy never closes, some of us slump in comfy chairs in the bar area all night.

we have a kitchen with a kettle and toaster and a coffee machine [we used to keep George Clooney chained to it, until he escaped.]

anything sparkly to wear is good, and short dresses with fish net tights and stilettos [ the knife, as well as the shoes]

so, come in and let your hair down [or wig]

Wear as little as possible and you will fit in nicely.
PS, welcome!

I am new to the area and wondered what time the bar opens ?
I am at the moment trying to find something to wear....I think for my first visit it better be a little bit sedate what would you suggest for my visit I don’t want to look out of place by wearing too much !

What about a twister night? The last one to discolate or break a hip wins a bottle of rum