Welcome to the new Argy Bar and cafe, abandon hope all ye who enter here.?

Just wanted to say soop that the haggis quiche was very tasty not sure what it tasted of but very tasty !

That's odd I saw the quiche just now but the bag full of ferret cage droppings and sawdust has gone. How odd.

I had some quiche ? ??

haha! Some of you never learn!

just dropped in for a large rhubarb gin with a dubonnet chaser.
Done a whole huge pile of ironing in the bar kitchen, even ironed marydolls thongs [I think, or possible they were tattered sheets?]

Wow!! That was some hangover ? . Where is everyone? marydoll what are you doing hanging from the chandelier by your thong? That could be dangerous especially as chewy and lemongrove are underneath you. Er, what exactly are you doing chewy and lemon is it some new version of the Twister game? chewy how do you get in that position? ??

That wasn't my thong, that was all that was left of my knicker elastic. ?Don't ask!!! (They are of the Bridget Jones type)

marydoll really. You could do yourself an injury. Goodness knows what/who you would have landed on if the elastic had broken ?

I was passing through, so I thought I would pop in. Been away ( your honour). They gave me parole for good behaviour but told me to keep away from malign influences so don’t tell the rozzers I was here. ?. Pint of rhubarb gin and tonic please

?no officer. Not seen the person you are looking for. This is a respectable establishment. Pssst.. marydoll get down from that chandelier and put some clothes on. You'll get us all arrested. topsy hide behind the bar so they can't see you. I'll distract them with my enormous bosoms

Doodle, I can't get down!?. The elastic is entangled in the chandelier. Do you think the kind officer could climb up and release me?
If he can't help, you are going to have to call the fire service. ?Oh and better call the paramedics too, ?I seem to have done myself an injury, trying to extricate myself from all that crystal. ?
I can't wait to see all those men in uniform.

P.S.Have you noticed I have installed new emojis on my PC? ?

Well you've had plenty of time to play with your pc whilst hanging around on the ceiling.
The officer won't help, says he can't handle heights and he's not sure which end of you to tackle first. I phoned the fire service but they won't come they said they remembered you from last time ?
But it's ok, there were some builders in the bar and they are going to get their crane in to get get you down ?. I've made chewyand lemon lie on the floor in case you fall so you have something soft to land on. Just hold on everything will be fine (I hope). ?

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!
???

Can someone please stop me bouncing!

✂️ ? ? Sorted !

Sorted? Is that what you call it when a 300lb woman lands on you from a great height?! See you when I get back from A&E.

At least get my weight right! .
It's 296.92lb. I have been on a diet! ?????????

Sorry lemon ? Well at least you won't need to diet now. You're squashed flat as a pancake ??

Oh Lemon, I'm so sorry! It could have been worse. What if I hadn't lost the weight.?

Back from A&E......it was a long wait.The doctor said he had never seen injuries like it, I am so flat all over I could be spread with lemon and sugar and rolled up! He was rather dishy himself so I asked if if would like to do some rolling with me later.....result! I am meeting him here in the bar tonight.What to wear I wonder?

Not to worry Marydoll I seem to have recovered very quickly after my hospital visit.If you could clean the sticky bar area up and wipe down the tables and chairs in good time for this evening, that would be good, also could you
Do a bit of cooking and restock the bar?
See ya later.?

Hmm...I might pop in later just to check out lemon's dishy doctor make sure lemon is ok after her ordeal. What time did you say he you were popping in lemon??

Everything scrubbed and disinfected, I felt it was necessary after last night's debacle.
We area bit low on Gin, I think Chewy's been sleepwalking again.
I'm away to tart myself up. What time did you say your dishy doctor was coming??‍

About 9 pm Marydoll but can I trust you ( you being you)
If I turn my back you may well have whipped him off to the cellar ( literally, probably!)

He’s here early! I still have my curlers in and slippers on!
He says he doesn’t care, as I am so gorgeous, but I shall leave him sitting in the bar in the best chair with a carafe of poteen whilst I go and throw on something ( still have my pinny on as well) a bit more sexy.Dare I leave Dr Devine-Teath with Marydoll due any moment though? A dilemma.

Cooooeee, I'm here! Where is everyone. Where is that blinding light coming from? It looks like a set of teeth. ?

Excuse me, barging through here. Ooh Dr I'm having a funny turn, could you just check my vital statistics? Shall I just lay down on the sofa so you can check me over?