Driving distances

At least I am not alone in losing my confidence in driving. I pootle around locally in the car but avoid if I can longer journeys.

A couple of years ago I paid for a driving lesson where the instructor showed me how to get onto a motorway properly which was very useful, however shortly after that I became ill and didn’t practise enough on my own,

DH has to have an injection in his hand soon and has asked me to take and collect him in the car. This made we think how important it is that I keep driving in case he needs me for any medical reason.

I think it's great that you even contemplate such long journeys on your own Maw - don't be disheartened by feeling tired after the latest one - the heat has been pretty tiring even when not driving. I used to drive all over - probably 150 miles was my furthest but over the last few years I've lost all confidence and my husband does all the driving when we go out especially to our sons a couple of hours away. The most I do now is to the nearest town 9 miles away and even then I don't always go on the motorway since I swapped my car for one with a very small engine. It's been sitting on my drive for 9 months now and still only has 475 miles on the clock which shows how little I go out. A combination of having poor eyesight, working from home and general apathy about driving anywhere - pretty sad really

Maw. You aren't feeble. It was probably just one of 'those' journeys. A combination of heat, traffic and emotion. It's early days yet for you and returning to an empty house with no Paw is difficult and horrible. I still hate it.

I have always driven long distances sharing the drive with DH through the UK and Europe. After he died I just had to get on with it myself if I wanted to see family and friends and the trek from Scotland to the south of England became the norm. It's a tiring journey but doable. I once did 8 hours with only a petrol stop and suffered dehydration/exhaustion on arrival which was a salutary lesson. I subsequently made myself stop every 3 hours for a walk round the services car park. I've recently moved south so my journeys are now shorter.
I'm happy to drive any distance on my own but am not too keen on driving unknown routes through big towns & cities - even with sat nav & phone gps! I have to deal with Bristol at the weekend and am getting a bit edgy - but I'll manage. It's a challenge .....

I must resist the temptation to think a longish journey is “too much” if I am to retain my independence and not feel like a feeble old woman

I can fully relate to that MawBroon. Over the years I have driven (alone or with the children) the length and breadth of GB. I cherished my independence. (And still do.)

However, I now let himself do most of the driving. I am rather wary of going on long journeys, mainly because of the volume of traffic everywhere, road works, jams, delays, detours. I seem to hit them all and it's frustrating and yes, very tiring. I try not to drive at night now either, if I can help it.

In July I am staying with a friend who lives about 90 miles away. I am finding myself steeling myself already for a long journey. Once I am on the road I tend to feel better.

So, in answer to your question, I much prefer local driving these days, and I try to ensure I am on the road after the morning rush and home before the rush that seems to start at 2,45pm when the roads fill with 'school traffic'. I have no qualms about driving to and visiting nearby towns, about ten miles away or so, for a change of scenery.

I will do long distances if I have to, but I really don't look forward to them.

I know how you feel Maw as my DH did most of the driving since my stroke. Nowadays I have to do all the driving as DH is still not able to use his right foot. We could make a film about that - sounds quite a snazzy title, "My right foot" Anyway I have to do long journeys in manageable chunks and if I feel I have done enough on a long journey then I look for somewhere to stopover. I did feel very unsure just after the crash especially as the insurance company provided me with a temporary car until a new one could be supplied and I had to follow DH as he was taken to different hospitals in places I didn't know and in a car I didn't know. The car did things differently to my own written off one which was a problem especially as I was the only person insured to drive it.
I had long talks with 'Reggie' on our journeys as I felt that in my head I had to make him my friend, he was a VW Toureg and was larger than I was used to. I had to climb and pull myself in but fortunately gravity took over the egress although it wasn't terribly graceful. What a blessing that I could still drive and you will find that too but like everything else it will take a bit of getting used to. This time next year you won't be giving a thought to all the difficulties you are currently facing as most things will have become second nature. One thing at a time and bit by bit you are getting there already, it is just that you haven't yet climbed quite high enough to see the view. Things will become more normal, the new normal, all the time so just be kind to yourself.

and (((hugs))) to all those widowed or bereaved who just might need them.

Resist the temptation, Maw and keep your independence. Once the exhaustion passes you're up and going again.

I don't mind how long the journey is but I do try and avoid rush hour traffic at either end if at all possible. There is nothing more frustrating than congratulating yourself on making good time only to sit for half an hour in nose to tail traffic for the last five miles!

Motorway driving always appeals because I like the feeling of eating up the miles but of course the M25 can be a real pain.

My longest journey at the moment is three hours each way to visit DD2 but I wouldn't mind a longer trip so long as I have a radio/CD and a tube of fruit gums!

I drive only short distances of about 8 - 10 miles in the main but a couple of times a year I drive about 250 miles to Northumberland and West Wales. But I have to say that I avoid rush hour traffic because I hate the cutting in and undertaking of other cars and the sheer stress of avoiding others poor driving. I've never had an accident that was my fault but I've been on the receiving end of a couple where others have taken the risk and I've paid for it. Your right Maw, the concentration for so long can be exhausting.

I only drive locally and I realise that I will be parting company this year with my car for health reasons.

I have driven on motorways in the past but hated every minute of it. I am very happy to drive into London from where I live which I am aware many people would not consider. In the days when one was allowed to drive along Oxford Street, that did not bother me. Also I worked close to there and always drove to work.

I usually confine myself to a twenty to thirty mile radius these days if I’m driving on my own, and I stay off motorways. We generally share the driving on long journeys, but DH always does the motorways. If I was on my own, I would probably not venture very far unless I could find my way on A roads! Today I don’t envy anyone who had to drive and be stuck in traffic in the heat we had. It would have caused drivers of any age to wilt! I think you should consider today an exception, Maw and rejoice in the fact that you are still capable of and prepared to drive considerable distances.

I drove from N Scotland to London on my own last year. I planned to stop overnight but ended up in a horribly noisy hotel. (I got my money back!) I didn't sleep at all and ended up hitting the road again by 5am. The only repercussion was that the following morning when I woke up in my sons house, my hands were absolutely rigid with stiffness and had to be coaxed back into life.

We live in a rural area so drive a lot anyway. I do about 10k a year in my car and dh does between 6-8k in his.

Chinesecrested my question was “How far are you happy to drive” and as must be apparent I now no longer have my DH (not that I relied on him to do the driving anyway! Not the sort of marriage where “hubby”does the driving ) Having had my own car ever since my first wee Morris Minor I expected to be able to drive myself if I wanted to go anywhere.
I am so glad for you that your daughter was able to drive you to Kintyre and back Callgirl, a very special and poignant journey.

I don’t think you quite get the point Chinesecrested my bus pass is useful enough when I am in a city but we are talking distances and I really hate seeing people having a virtual picnic on public transport.

Of course, it depends how far the long distance is!

I'm happy to drive locally, say 30 miles radius of where I live. If we need to go long distances, OH is stuck with all that, and no, I don't share the driving! How about the bus? Presumably you've got a free bus pass? I know it's not quick but you can take a newspaper, phone, a snack and drink with you on the bus. Make an outing of it.

I don`t drive, but I thought my granddaughter did very well driving nearly 400 miles up to Scotland and the same back again, all in a weekend. She`s never driven that sort of distance before.
Maw, you`re a capable lady, don`t place too much emphasis on one day, a combination of the heat, plus 3 busy motorways, and the stresses you`ve suffered recently would get to almost anyone.

I think one of our strengths as older drivers is the ability to realise that we need to take breaks on a long (or even not that long) journeys. We aren't so gung ho about carrying on regardless. I also think driving very far today would have wiped anyone out!

I love driving but find I can't go very far without a break nowadays.

Drove to Devon today (350) miles to see aged FIL. Totally wiped out too. Not just the distance but the awful driving of other road users. It meant I had to concentrate all the time to work out who was going to do the next silly thing.!
Definitely getting too old to keep doing this!

I don’t mind long journeys on my own or sharing the driving. Driven to Cornwall and Nth and Sth Wales often never done Scotland though and drove in Europe when I was younger couldn’t manage that now I don’t think. Hate driving in traffic jams and that’s much more likely nowadays. I agree you have to keep it up or lose confidence.

Five miles. I have an appointment to have a heart rate monitor put on for 24 hours. It's at Cromer, about 12 miles away and I am worried sick. Cant afford taxis . I know its ridiculous but I can't seem to get out of this mindset. As a childcand teenager I was reckless if anything but not anymore. I drive to two little towns with impunity so there's no sense to it. I might cancel the appointment and just takr my chances. Ex partner gets very angry with me over this.

I don't drive but today's heat has made me tired and occasional days we all feel tired for no particular reason. I wouldn't worry based on one tiring journey.