Bringing up bi-lingual children

My three were brought up bilingual and are eternally grateful and are bringing their own children up to be bilingual too. This is one thing I am positively passionate about, so I'll refrain from commenting here.

Obviously the Health Visitor was way out of line with her remarks and I am quite shocked that this came from a Dane - Denmark being relatively small and Danish being a language spoken by so few people, they all have a high level of mastery of German or English, and I would have thought that they didn't only encourage bilingualism, but took it pretty much for granted.

My three year old niece has a Japanese mum and Northern Irish dad. Her mum speaks Japanese to her and her dad English, her speech is developinģ fine. I think it is a huge advantage to a child to be bilingual , I think this Health Visitor is talking twaddle!

Another aspect is how good your foster daughter's Danish is. If she's teaching the child imperfect Danish (and as Cold said in her posting of Sun 29-Apr-18 20:50:29) most Danes have problems with the slightest imperfections)

However - I have just noticed that grandtante has already addressed this subject. Sorry.

Yet another example of the need for highlighting the OP's posts in green.

I've never heard that one, what a lucky boy to have such a head start in life by being bi-lingual. Health Visitors aren't experts in every aspect of childcare.

My children are bilingual,I have always spoken to them in English even my Swedish Husband always spoke English to them, we live in Sweden,English is the second language, my children have been helped a lot by being able to speak English from birth, its never been a problem, just a huge advantage.I think the HV should step back and let the family do as they wish, the children will be fine as English is the Danes second language too.

In Sweden where we live, they have in Schools extra lessons in "home language" so whatever "foreign" language you speak at home they get tuition in that language, mine had English when the others in their classes had "normal" English lessons, our children didnt get bored with repetition.I think its a good idea no matter what language the children speak at home, they have lessons to improve it.

my grandchildren speak Spanish to their mother and English to their father and are behind in no areas. Ignorant HV

We lived in Hong Kong for 20 years and I met several families who were bringing their children up to be bi- and sometimes tri-, lingual. One of DH's colleagues had the system of when they lived in an English speaking country (they spent time in the US) they spoke Mandarin at home and English when at school/work/out and vice versa when they were in Hong Kong or Beijing. It seemed to work well for them

Speaking English is an advantage but in their teens many don't want to be different. Once in an English multiple choice test DD1 was the only one to tick a certain question. The teacher sent the test home for me to look at and DD1 was correct.
The young man called round embarressed that he had fallen into a minor language trap(well known to teachers) but DD1 who was 14 was appalled at him calling at the house and she hid upstairs in her room and swore she would never write another word of English.

I was forbidden to call items of clothing in Germany by their correct English pronunciation. I remember walking behind DD2 when she was looking at sweatshirts( pronounced in Germany as Sweetshirts) but as many have said they know that the world speaks other languages and apart from school French DD1 speaks Italian and DD2 Spanish.
As to Danish, I have a Danish friend who speaks perfect German. Danes can usually speak several languages. Perhaps the HV saw something else in the child's behaviour.

I was sat on Limoges airport a few years ago having a beer before my flight. There was a couple on another table with two small boys ,not twins , but only a small age gap. The boys were happily talking French to their mother and English to their father without a pause and understood everything said to them. It was lovely to see

Perhaps the HV saw something else in the child's behaviour.

I think the key part of the OP is this:
The boy clams up when the health visitor comes in, as he doesn't like her, and probably is picking up on the fact that his mother and the health visitor are at odds. He is also the kind of child who talks when he feels he has something to say, and not otherwise.

Perhaps the HV thinks he has hearing problems or some other problem, whereas the child sees the HV as the problem.

Should check before I post! Perhaps the HV saw something else in the child's behaviour.
MargaretX Yes, she may well see a child who is not speaking, not responding to her and thinks there may be problems whereas there may be none
He just doesn't like her, or perhaps she makes him nervous. He is only 2 - my DN did not speak at all until 3 - I think that he still thinks there is no point in idle chat but will talk at length about things that interest him.

what fun to be multilingual and such an advantage when deciding on a career.
our house is a mini league of nations when all are here.
i was raised speaking english/dutch and ojibwe(american indian language)
my first husband was fin/norwegian.
second husband was french belgian and american indian.
married into the family are a russian speaking dil/
a french canadian dil
and we live in a place where spanish is a first or second language for a third of the population.
all the grand babies including nieces speak at least 3 of these languages.
an argument can be quite entertaining since the native language tends to come out at this time.
let them learn ,learning is a good thing

If the HV says the child is behind with his language then perhaps he is? It is difficult to say what stage he is at but I am assuming she is qualified so it would seem odd to disregard her advice entirely But it does seem a good thing that the child is bilingual but perhaps she has a point??

Make up your mind Telly!
I imagine the parents and grandparents are the best judge of the wee one’s progress, bearing in mind that development is not an exact science. I think those of us with experience of bilingual childhood are in agreement that it enhances a child’s development and in no way holds them back.
Quoting averages or means or medians is all about numbers, not the individual.
We were told DD3 then aged 18 months was unlikely to ever grow taller than 4’10” - I went through agonies. So fast forward to today where she is a slim and healthy 5’6”

I worked for 20 years supporting early years children (under 5s) in school, who spoke a language other than/in addition to English at home. Whilst it is true that, at the beginning, there can appear to be a slight delay in either (spoken) home language/english, if you add up what a child can express in either language, it usually exceeds what a monolingual child can express in their only language. ie the sum of the parts is greater than the whole. All the research evidence shows that, on average, bilingual children out perform monolingual children across the curriculum by age 16. They appear to have established more pathways in the brain as a direct result of their bilingualism. The only note of caution is, should a child have certain additional special needs, the extra complication of switching between languages might confuse, but that is rare. I would say that the HV does not know what s/he is talking about and should be challenged.

We were told DD3 then aged 18 months was unlikely to ever grow taller than 4’10” - I went through agonies. So fast forward to today where she is a slim and healthy 5’6”
I was told the same by the HV. DD is now 5'6" (and a half).
DN, who did not speak until 3, is a physicist.

I know a family who live in Switzerland. The mother is Bulgarian which the child (who is 3) speaks with her. Her father is English and doesn't speak much Bulgarian, so they speak English when they are all together. The child attends a French speaking nursery and manages ok there.

I think it is a real pity when children grow up unable to speak the language of one of the parents.

I hope the mother and HV can work together and the child manages well.

Honestly some HV's need to give their heads a wobble!

We have Spanish and Italian inlaws, and they were told ( as was I ), that each parent should always speak in their own mother tongue. The children had no speech problems at all.

My grandchildren speak Finnish and English both very well and can slip between the two with ease. In Europe, children start school later than the UK, although play, outside preferably, and mixing with other children is considered very important. If my eldest Grandchild (aged 8) came to England now he would be behind the others academically, however they all catch up in the end. There is massive evidence that children with two or more languages find learning easy as they grow. The health visitor is out of order.

BRedhead I can't agree that your GC at 8 would be behind and English schoolchild.
They are in Kindergarten before school and the only thing they don't do is write. they learn a lot, group play, organising things, painting and singingand moving about in the fresh air.

As to being bilingual I judge the success of being bilingual in whether you can read and write fluently in two languages. Most schools in Europe offer English as the first foreign language and then the danger that they will be bored stiff 5 times a week at high school is high

We went over to German as family language for that reason and it did me good and the children know how much the parents can speak and don't like always having to translate for Mum like the refugee children have to do.The young mother would be advised to try and speak more Danish. Why should their children be the only Danes who don't speak English. It will all come in time.

in Europe where people speak more than one language it is not seen as such an advantage, more like normal.

I wish my mum had spoken to me in her language and i had been brought up bi lingual but in the post war era and not even thought usual in those days. I taught myself with the aid of a well used ductionary but make many mistakes.

Dictionary!

DD has a french colleague who always speaks French to her baby while her husband does the English bit. The first time she picked her up from the nursery she started chatting to the staff in English and the baby burst into tears because she didn't know what had happened to Mummy!