Town or country for retirement?

Sorry, struck down sounds like I got hit by a truck! . I meant that out of the blue I was suddenly struck down by illness.

I've retired early but was struck down and hospitalised last year.

I had not long bought my forever home. I appreciate having the best of both worlds by being near to amenities such as shops, doctors, hospital, motorway all within reach but also very close to beaches, woods/forests and country parks as my dogs are my passion.

Before I moved I was interested in living fairly remote but I'm glad I didn't as being ill made me realise how much you need to be near civilisation!

My post will echo a lot of previous posts.

I was born and brought up in the middle of nowhere, in many ways it was idyllic until we were teenagers and wanted to get out more.

Now DH and I live semi-rurally, I would love to live out in the sticks again, we’re only mid to late 40s and we’ve agreed that our next house move will be our last. We talk about living in the countryside properly, I would love to.

However, DH is pragmatic. His parents moved from a city to a well known national park which is very isolated. It is lovely but there are no public transport links and when FiL developed a health problem in his mid 60s things became very difficult for them.

MiL won’t drive in the dark and the round trip of getting to the hospital for visits took all day. It’s the same now that he needs regular check ups.

I think a large village/small town very close to a larger conurbation with a main hospital and good transport links is a good compromise. I really don’t wish to sound morbid!

We live about 20 minutes from our DGCs and I wouldn’t miss them growing up for the world. That is another consideration for me.

We live in a nice house South facing garden but I don't like the small town we live in. This is where we started our life together about ten years ago. ( both 67). Plus side is its close to good public transport- short walk to trains, shops etc. My husband is not very open to anything new/departure from routine etc so no chance of him moving. Both people are important in a relationship however. Our compromise was to buy a very nice mobile home in a lovely area beside sea and mountains where we spend time from May to end September. Not too expensive and gives me something to look forward to.

We live in a quiet area very close to the River Front on The Mersey and are very lucky to have all amenities close by to our home.
There is a really good regular bus route which takes you over to Liverpool then on to Southport/North Wales so we are very lucky.
The local shops have a good chemist who delivers if needed and our Doctors surgery is close by we also have 2 really 1st class Hospitals just off the motorway which we can get to within 15mins,we have always lived in this area both being born and raised nearby I would never consider moving as we have the best of both worlds.

I have been married for 54 years and now my husband and i are retired , its not turning out to be the dream I imagined.
We are not getting along very well although we both have activities and hobbies so its not that -the problem ( which if I'm honest ) has always been the he will not talk or discuss things to sort rifts like we are having at present. We either row with each other or descend into long unbearable silences , which on a beautiful day like today is making feel awful. Would be glad of anyone who can help me to feel better. As my husband has always ben this way I don't think he will change now and being 74 I think there is no other option than to endure this lifestyle.
What do you think?

A friend, also wanting to downsize, moved into the centre of Norwich. It’s a lovely new property and, as she says, she can hop on a bus to the countryside or beach anytime. It’s horses for courses.

We used to live on the outskirts of Norwich backing woodland. A lovely city and a good bus service just outside the door. But - we needed to drive to shops, doctors, etc., etc. So we moved when in our early 60s to a small market town in north Norfolk. We’re so glad we did. Now there’s a large estate just the other side of the wood where there was open fields and the road is a nightmare. We moved at a young enough age to make new friends and settle into our new area but close enough to keep old friends. There’s a reasonable bus service into Norwich and out to the coast. It would be perfect except that the only property we could agree on is a house with no downstairs bedroom. Still it stops us getting bungalow knees!

I live in the middle of London and as I get older I realise it’s perfect - brilliant transport, large teaching hospital at the end of the road (!), every kind of shop, restaurant, cinema within walking distance. My son and family live in a small village and I would go crazy there within weeks.

We've been wrestling with this dilemma for a few years. We currently live in a small market town within easy walking distance of shops, doctors, dentists etc and the nearest hospitals are either 9 or 14 miles in opposite directions. The motorway network is literally 5 minutes from our house and as my husband works an hours drive away we still need this until he retires. We both grew up in a seaside town on the east coast and his idyll would be to go back there. Although we both love the idea of a quaint village setting in the middle of the the countryside and did contemplate buying a new build in Lincolnshire a couple of years ago we quickly realised how impractical it would be as there were no amenities to walk to and we would have to drive to get anywhere. Having seen my parents go from sprightly 65 year olds who thought nothing of getting in the car and driving either up north to visit relatives or to the seaside we moved from to play golf to the infirm couple who could no longer even walk into town here and relied on us to do everything we realise we have to be practical and think of the future. We are contemplating buying a holiday home back by the sea to find out if it is where we want to be in years to come but he is already thinking about what would we do if one of us is ill - the hospital they fought for years to build back in the 60's is in crisis and most patients have to travel either 30 miles in one direction or 15 the other way, the town centre is not in walking distance although there are buses running regularly and the sea is actually nowhere to be seen unless you drive to it. For me I'm sure we'll end up staying here and downsizing to something more manageable in years to come but for now I'm going along with his dream

I'm slightly baffled by the question. Obviously some people have specific reasons to move, to be near children etc, but it seems strange to me to contemplate moving just because one has retired.

Maybe we are lucky to live in the middle of a largish, busy, friendly village, with a small town 3 miles away, 3 cities within 15 miles and most of our children within striking distance.

Having lived here or hereabouts for most of our married life, it would seem a strange idea to leave it all behind just because we no longer work.

It is a conundrum. Do we at some point when we get older relocate so we get easier access to facilities, be closer to family, have a better environment, or stay put in familiar surroundings amongst old friends and good neighbours??

Humptydumpty. It's really a small town not a village. Rickmansworth Hertfordshire. Been here a year and absolutely love it. Today I did a 5 km walk around the lakes, popped into M and S for some food, had lunch in the pub and walked home. Hardly ever use my car since we moved.

We always said when we bought a place together that it would be a country cottage surrounded by garden, roses around the door etc...shop, pub, church. Ideal we thought.

But as other have said, head ruled the heart when we chose our 'forever home' together. We needed facilities, theatres, parks, a choice of shops, bus stops nearby, a station in the town, restaurants, cafes, cinema, doctors, hospitals, sports facilities. We know from experience that having to drive to get a newspaper or a bottle of milk becomes a real bind after a while. The quiet and seclusion is lovely, but only in short doses. We both want to be in the thick of it all until we pop our clogs, or become immobile and needing care.

We found a lovely house in a busy market town, surrounded by open countryside and lots of pretty villages so we think we have the best of both worlds. The pretty cottage was a dream we happily waved goodbye to.

We spent 20 years living in one of the most switched on places in the world (Hong Kong, the city that never sleeps) and moved to our house in England 17 years ago. We look out onto fields and meadows, have to drive to the shops but we love it!

Think carefully before you move to your rural idyll! So many people who have lived in towns all their working lives move to their ideal setting and then can't cope with the different pace of life, the different noises (bells in the church clock, cocks crowing as soon as it's light - and sometimes before! - and so on!), the smells - yes, muck spreading is smelly! - perceived lack of amenities (we have one bus an hour!, some even less), distance to shops, hospital etc. and complain bitterly. This doesn't endear them to their new, longer established, neighbours.

As for 'clannish' communities, mentioned by an earlier poster, get involved! Join the WI, volunteer in a local venture (I volunteered for Riding for the Disabled, and our community shop), but don't knock it till you've tried to give it a chance!!

DH’s job took us from a village into London nearly 20 years ago. We still have friends there and visit once or twice a year, but it’s worrying too see them all beginning to struggle with the lack of facilities and transport, and their large gardens. One couple in particular, now aged 79 and 81, have both suddenly succumbed to serious health issues and I don’t know how they are going to manage. We want to downsize soon, but we’re not leaving London!

As a lot of posts have already said, you need to try and future-proof your returement. We live in a small village with no public transport, and which has now seen its pub, post office and primary school close. We have lived here for about 20 years quite happily. Then, we had an unfortunate series of events, and for about 3 months neither of us was able to drive. We are now in the process of moving house, to the outskirts of a smallish town with hopper buses, dr’s, chemist, shops etc. It had not occurred to either of us quite how “stuck” we could be if unable to drive, as we had to get in the car for absolutely everything.

I live on the outskirts of a large, noisy city. Brought up in the country and for many years hated it. However, as a lot of posters have mentioned, there are some essentials there. Transport links are great, hospitals and facilities a free bus ride away, parks walking distance for the dogs, neighbours pleasant (hope they don't all move!), theatres, pubs, supermarkets, etc etc. Only downsides are crime (which you can get anywhere I suppose) and traffic noise. And family are far away. At least nobody can build by us because it's all built on already.... I know people whose idyllic country living has been spoilt by fields being turned over to housing.

Take into consideration how you will manage when you can no longer drive.

Milkshake asked when to make the move.
IMO before it’s too late! Go whilst you maybe think you don’t need to. Then you will be able to cope with the move, settle in your new home and make a new life.
So many of my clients have left it too late and are stuck in a house that’s too big and too much bother and worry. Too expensive to maintain. They worry about losing the car, they worry about buying and driving a new car that they aren’t used to, in fact they worry about everything.
Go whilst you can.

Move to a town where there's a good hospital. Make sure you are walking distance from shops, Post Office, pharmacy, GPs, bus stop to get you to said hospital. We were in the middle of rural Northumberland when OH developed dementia, and then bowel cancer. He recovered from cancer, but ultimately died of his dementia. I insisted we move to the city as soon as his chemo was done. We moved to a smaller house, but in a leafy inner suburb with all the above facilities. It made life instantly easier. I was brought up in a small village, and I love them, but the rural idyll wears thin when you are faced with frailty. It can creep up on you with dementia/Parkinson's etc, or it can happen suddenly with a stroke or diagnosis of cancer.

My late uncle married for the first time when he retired. He had always had his heart set on a small market town and he and his wife (a childless widow) moved there. It was fine at first when they could get out and about but eventually the garden was too big, wife didn't drive, there was a local surgery but the clinic for treatments was several miles away and the two nearest hospitals were each about 20 miles away, a problem when uncle was in hospital twice as aunt didn't drive and buses not convenient. Latterly, especially when uncle died, there was isolation.

I live in a fairly large village close to two large towns - good bus service, pubs, local shops and supermarkets, close to family and friends and a busy local community. We are very happy!!! We are very close to the country and some pretty villages but you need to get your car out to go to the doctors or supermarket. Don't rush into a decision - try staying in one of the pubs or locally to get an idea of what it would be like and what you want.

Panache you’re right about rural living, it’s noisy with chickens, tractors & smells. No rural buses anymore ( so what happens when you can’t drive). No local shops (wow if you forget an ingredient & have to trail miles back to the town). I’ve just moved to Edinburgh for my retirement and loving every minute of it, free buses, loads of concessions, even the hairdressers. I’m 20 minutes walk from the nearest beach. I could go on o & on. I think the country is a foolish move for anyone about to retire.

We have decided to move to Devon next year when OH retires. We chose the area in or near Dawlish and Teignmouth for the surrounding countryside and facilities in Exeter which isn't too far away