What should I have done?

My youngest DD is type 1 diabetic and sometimes becomes ill without warning, her hypos present as if she was drunk or on drugs as she becomes confused and woozy. I therefore never assume that a person I see out is drunk or drugged as appears to be the assumption made by some on this thread! I know that she is very very careful to test her blood sugar before leaving the house with the children and always keeps snacks and her meds with her just in case, but extreme heat or coming over with a bug will have an unforseen hypo. I would like to think that if someone saw her slumped with the buggy, they would call an ambulance which I have done myself for strangers in similar positions. Worst case scenario is that there is something wrong and at least dad and babe will be looked after! Best case scenario is that dad is just tired and could be persuaded to go home and rest where baby will be safe. Either way probably will lead to a social services referral but that might mean support if there are health or social issues which dad and or mum have been struggling with

No point in worrying. It's hard to make a decision sometimes. We're not perfect.

I went to some shops about 2 miles from my village and I was befriended by a tiny little unkept girl on a cycle. When I looked her young father was sat on the kerb asleep outside of the chemist . He had been in for his methodone then was sleeping it off whist this poor little mite was just happily cycling around on circles.
I like you did nothing but it haunted me for a long time. I cannot understand that the pharmacist issued him the methodone knowing he was in charge of a minor. Where are social workers in this families life.!!!!

You should have phoned 999 and reported it. The baby's welfare is the criteria here, not the male who was either extremely tired or otherwise incapacitated and who in the times he nodded off would be incapable of caring for the child.
No harm will have been done by you informing the Police.
That would have been task to be proud of.
For those extolling the virtues of phoning 101, have any of you actually tried to use this service?

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/police-101-telephone-call-delays-13412604

I would have gone up to the dad and quietly asked if he was feeling unwell and needed medical attention.
Many years ago, a school bus used to drop off a young lad of about 15 near to where I lived. He had cerebral palsy and his mum used to meet him at the stop, as he needed assistance to walk home. I happened to be passing the stop one day
as he was dropped off - but his mum wasn’t there to meet him. The bus driver drove off leaving him looking scared and disoriented. He then fell over. I was six months pregnant at the time. I went over to him and said I would wait with him until his mum came. However he became very distressed and grabbed my knees trying to pull himself up. I tried to get him to his feet but he was very tall, over six foot I would think. I was disgusted that several cars slowed down (it was a main road) to gawp, and yet no one stopped to offer help even though my predicament was obvious. After a few minutes the lads mum came running along and thanked me profusely. It seems the bus had been early.
I was very concerned about my baby as I had stomach and backache that evening. All turned out well though.
I know it’s probably far more dangerous to go to someone’s aid these days but I do if need be because I would hope someone would help me if ever the need arose

Having had the misfortune to watch people gouching (high on heroin) it doesn't sound like this man was.
Poor guy may just have been extremely tired with the baby. If you were worried speaking to him may have allayed your fears.
I'm quite bold and have asked people if they are ok when most people have walked past. I think this comes from knowing people stepped over my father to get on a train!! He had been released from hospital and a stent failed and he was bleeding out!!!
Regrets after the fact are not serving any purpose in the nicest possible way.

Sparkly1000 - Regarding James Bulger, 28 people saw the boy being led by the two older boys and two women intervened by speaking to them.

"There was a specific witness who spotted them," he says. "James had his head down, appeared to be distressed, and she actually went up to them and asked if he was alright.

"She actually got Robert to leave hold of one of his hands and her little daughter took hold of James' hand at the time but then Jon Venables said 'It's alright, we're taking him to the police station'. And she said 'are you alright?' to James and James kept his head down and didn't say anything. He was sobbing and he was led away."

..........

Denise doesn't blame anyone for doing more. It must be awful for those that feel they wish they should have done more but I think we can all agree that at that time we all would have found it hard to imagine what the two boys would be capable of.

As Sodapop says, the safety of the child is paramount and it is now considered that everyone has a responsibility for the safety of children. If you are concerned about anyone who is vulnerable, then you should take steps to raise your concerns.

If the bloke, baby and pushchair looked cared for and he kept jerking himself awake, he probably was just catching up on sleep. Many babies only sleep in the pushchair which can mean miles of walking. Especially if the child is teething. There are far more good reasons for him struggling to stay awake than bad.

It’s so difficult kittylester, there was a time when I would have said without doubt, that I would have approached and asked if he was ok, or tried to contact someone. But I have had my fingers burned.
Several years ago, I contacted the police after seeing my new neighbour, out with her baby, whilst appearing to be drunk. Her blouse was buttoned incorrectly, and she had dinner down herself.
I saw the police arrive at her house, then around about an hour later, i got a knock my door. I had given my name and address, as I believed I had nothing to be ashamed of. The police informed me that the lady was diagnosed with dyspraxia (I had never heard of it at the time), but was perfectly capable of taking care of her baby. I felt deeply ashamed, and have been much more careful about assuming the worst in people ever since.

It is very easy with hindsight to say what we would do, but in the moment, it’s totally different. What’s done is done, try to put it to the back of your mind, it’s pointless worrying about things that we can’t change.

In the circumstances you describe a call to the police would be appropriate. if he was under the influence of drugs or alcohol he was not safe to care for a young child. ring 999 and report what you have seen - give a location and let them deal with it. you can say you do not want to be involved but are concerned. The police would have your number but would not need to see you.

Tricky one. Several people approached Venables and Thompson on seeing Jamie Bulger so upset, but on being told that he was their brother and being taken home, did nothing, no mobile phones then.
I wondered after the dreadful consequences, how they felt?

The baby was a sleep, he was dozing but trying to stay awake. At home babies and parents sleep at the same time.

So far gransnetters have called the police, social workers, presumed the guy was on drugs or it was a feckless family yet apart from the dozing you have expressed no other concerns except there was something about the situation that you felt you needed to share it with someone. The positive side is that is was a public place and if the situation became a danger to the baby there were people about who hopefully would act. I think if there were not other people about you would have done more.

Maybe if it ever happened again you might ask him if he was ok but I am sure we all understand why you didn't.

I must confess I would probably have asked him if he was OK. Reckless perhaps, but if I'd got a rude rebuff that would have alerted me to contact someone with more authority to speak to him. I'm by no means brave or interfering but my main concern would have been for the baby. I tend to act first and think later.

I think not sure one of us can comment.
We weren’t there.
Instinct tells you if something is amiss and I don’t honestly think you should be worrying, I believe you are just wondering about them, if something was really wrong you’d have acted, as a mother or a grandmother you couldn’t have ignored it. Don’t worry ?

There is not much likelihood that he'd have attacked you , maybe a few short words in your direction. Words can't hurt you. People on heroin etc are not wild animals .
I would have spoken with him, admired the baby, done the usual "is it a boy or girl, I can see the likeness, aren't they lovely at that age" speech.
Or asked him directions.
This would allow an assessment of the circumstance.
When our children were young my husband was asleep standing up most of the time, once sitting he had no chance of being awake.
He slept through cinema visits and memorably every bench we sat on at our yearly visit to the zoo.
This only happened when I was around, if he was in sole charge he'd be wide awake.

It’s very easy to say what we would have done afterwards, probably sitting on the bench near him and asking if he s ok would have been the best way to go but I think most of us would do as kitty did and then stew about it afterwards
Would I have been more proactive if it was a woman? If a child was lost or upset I would definitely know I would interfere and not walk by If the person looked ill or hurt I would interfer and I have, but someone just having a snooze maybe not!

Did the pram look neat and tidy in good condition was the man looking well dressed or unkempt I think I d have done a quick mental assessment of things like that and if he or the pram or the baby looked dirty untidy or the baby was screaming while he snoozed then I like to think I would have called 101 as it was there was really anything damming to go on Kitty so I m sure most of us would carry on our way

I am a serial interferer; partly because I grew up on an estate in the North West where it was the norm to mind your neighbour's business, but also because all of my career has been about social interactions. I'm currently working with homeless people so it's very much part of my remit to approach strangers, some of whom may look as if they are under the influence of one substance or another. I have also had extensive training in dealing with a range of difficult situations so I would be much more confident than most other people. I think many people would have been uncertain about what to do in the situation described above kitty - we all have times when we think we should or could have done something different, but my advice is to not dwell on them. On another occasion you may well act differently.

I would have called 101 if I thought he was on drugs because the way he was behaving sounds just like someone on morphine/heroin. If he was just very tired, having a diabetic episode, then no harm done. If it was drug induced, the authorities would have been made aware. However, I would have found a way to approach him first. Without meaning to be harsh on OP, I think it is all to easy to walk away and then read about the consequences in a newspaper. Perhaps if OP sees the gentleman again she can take a view and maybe reassured or given cause to act.

We've all done something similar and then agonised over it later, I think that's just human! All we can do is decide what we could and will do next time. It is just as likely that everything is ok with the family, as it is that things are not ok, ........we can't possibly know either way, so worrying and feeling guilty is actually a waste of energy and won't help anyone, you and yours included. Learn from it and move on, you are a very caring person and that's why you feel guilty, but you too are a fallible human! Xxx

On Sunday we went to Outpatients at our local hospital and the receptionist (male) was dozing at the screen!

I think I am just one of those people that just can't help my self, if I see someone in trouble or upset I can't help but ask if they are ok or need help. Of course I have had people tell me to something off but I have also been able to help people (often in a very tindy way.) I saw a young girl sobbing by a bridge once and ask her if she was ok . She was in a desperate state and I ended up very late for work but was able to clam her down and get her help. I know I left my self open for a scam but If she had jumped off that bridge because I didnt want to get involved how would I have felt. I once saw a man in the city center staggering and acting strange people were walking past and saying he was drunk I rang 999 as something seemed wrong he was having a stroke.
I probably would have asked him if he was ok or popped into a shop and ask if they had a first aider that could speak to him. However you didnt but the fact you wanted to and now feel bad shows you cared. I dont think you should beat yourself up over it. Sadly we live in a disfunction world in which walking up to support people leaves you wide opened to begging or a scam it is hardly surprising people are relunt to get involved.

Is it possible Mum was about in one of the shops and left dad to mind baby as he was tired and she had either popped to the nearest toilet or into shop .....shopping has this effect on my OH

When would you ever even see a policeman. Horrible to think of that poor baby’s life. Social services probably know the family but from my experience of them they do nothing.

Looks to me like he was just shattered after probably having no sleep with a baby. You could have tried to have a conversation with him on the subject of sleepless nights with babies....all would have been revealed but too late now of course.