Ma's driving

We dealt with this with my dad and I was the only one that took control as my mum and sister didn't want him to give up his pride and joy. Looking back we can see the beginning of his dementia but at the time I eventually pinched the spark plugs and he didn't have the mindset to look properly but I also said to my mum how would she feel attending the funeral of the child he kills, brutal but true.

I think all the stats are there maryliza54 and we are a lot safer by all measures than 18 - 25 year olds. Apart from anything else, older people, especially the very old, drive a lot slower than average so accidents tend not to lead to severe injury and death.

Yes, those 'driving the wrong way down the motorway' incidents grab the headlines if the driver is elderly, but if the driver in such an incident - and there have been many - is a drug dealer or young man high on drugs it seems to be of local interest only.

Perhaps, yes - I couldn't find any relevant statistics or even up-to-date ones.

Jal but my guess would be that over-75s drive a lot less miles - what is needed ( but probably doesn’t exist ) is accidents per x miles driven.

There’s a man where I volunteer who drives an underpowered little van thing. I’d wondered where he got it from! There’s a race to leave before him as it doesn’t go above 35 mph and getting stuck behind him on our windy roads is most frustrating. We obviously don’t have the patience of the French!!

But in France they have those wonderful under-powered cars, with small engines for which you do not need a license.

These, in rural areas, seem to be driven only by those who are 'plus agees'. Because they are slow and underpowered, they do not travel fast, and are a warning in themselves that the person at the wheel is very old, as a result everyone treats them with extreme caution and I have never read, in our local paper that they have been involved in an accident.

"It’s a different matter for elderly people with no family nearby and no community services." Too true winterwhite.
Where we lived in France the elderly were often isolated, no public transpoert.
I know I'm elderly and a bit decrepit, but you should have seen some of the old folks still on the roads there, in their 20+yr old cars. In comparison I was a fit youngster.
In France you have your driving license until death - no medicals etc.
Unless you have an accident of course.

Remember Mrs Thatcher saying that anyone travelling by bus over the age of 30 was a loser? Some of the people who heard that may well be the very people reluctant to give up their cars now, perhaps being aware of the stats quoted on this thread.
We have become a very car-dependent society. I’ve noticed how many GNs use supermarkets such as Aldi and Lidl. Not easy to do that in many places without a car. Most grocery delivery has a charge for small orders.
Most of the posters here seem to live close to their parents who can no longer drive. It’s a different matter for elderly people with no family nearby and no community services.

I hadn't noticed that any particularly make of car was more popular with older drivers.
Which one is it?

Apparently over 75s account for about 6.5% of all accidents - so under 75s must account for 93.5%. These statistics are not that recent btw
Research by the RAC Foundation suggests drivers aged 75 and over make up 6% of all licence holders but account for just 4.3% of all deaths and serious injuries. By contrast, drivers aged 16-20 make up just 2.5% of all drivers but 13% of those killed and seriously injured.

Does anyone have any up-to-date statistics?

Gosh. What kind of car us it?

Last year, I returned to my car in a store car park to find the front wheel arch badly dented and a gouge down both front and rear doors. There was a note with a name and number admitting the damage.

When I called, the man sounded elderly and said he had misjudged the space when parking. I wondered just how slow his reactions must have been not to have stopped sooner as he bumped and scraped his way down the entire side of my car.

He offered to pay cash for the repair and pleaded with me to keep it off his insurance. I wondered how often this was happening and whether I should report him but in the end just got the car repaired for cash as it saved the bother of having to go through my own insurance company.

When I spoke to the car body man about it he said he has several elderly customers that he does frequent cash repairs for.

When I went to renew my car insurance this year I was surprised at the hike in premium and questioned it. I was told that the incidence of claims for that particular make and model of car has increased substantially (a make and model popular with older drivers) and so the cost is being spread. I went via one of the comparison sites, talked to a number of different companies and got the same answer. I’d never thought about that before, that older drivers are hiking my insurance premiums not just younger ones. It’ll make me think very carefully about what model to buy when I next change my car.

With respect - what is a quiet road ?What if one becomes busy ? This is worrying . Even short journeys . With money you had from sale of vehicle , insurance etc ..you could get taxis .

Hi . We had identical problem with my Dad . In the end I just said - well prove me wrong . Have a refresher with a driving instructor . He knew he couldn't . Doctors won't back you either . If they do have a medical condition then you will get support from DVLA . Sight test ...would she pass that if not any insurance claim could be invalidated .

It’s what you’re familiar with isn’t it I ve never driven so will miss nothing I ve got my free bus pass ( Could mum have one or don’t they do that where you live) and my cycle ( i m not expecting your mum to start cycling) but for me walking, cycling, free busing is absolutely fine Yes there are some places I can’t get to but that’s life I d love to pop to a garden centre but they re not on any bus route but that’s how the cookie crumbles I think perhaps the eye test and a word from the doctor will help
Good luck it’s not an easy one but it’s doesnt necessarily mean taking independence away although I suppose that how she ll see it

That's a good point agnurse Mr. S. has told his mum it probably wouldn't be as expensive if she took a taxi when she needed too, as it is to run her car.

She's not convinced yet.

In the UK the DVLA has an anonymous helpline where you can report people that you feel are unfit to drive and the DVLA will investigate.
To report a dangerous driver anonymously please call: 0844 453 0118
www.contactthedvla.co.uk/guides/anonymously-reporting-dangerous-driving-dvla/

When you consider the costs for insurance, MOT, gas, and maintenance for a vehicle, taking a bus or taxi is actually quite affordable for most things. Some communities also offer driving services specifically for seniors. (The city near where I live, for example, has a service for getting seniors to doctors' and other medical appointments. It's called Driving Miss Daisy.)

Giving up your precious independence might come easier if family and friends were more willing to give lifts. Why are those lucky enough to drive so resentful of someone unable to get to a shop or the doctor, a club or concert?
I have to ask for lifts often, there are very few buses now. If a neighbour is going somewhere anyway, why ever would they moan about taking a passenger along?
I gave up driving at about sixty because my sight is poor. I foolishly assumed that people would freely offer me lifts. It hardly ever happens, even from family who live close by.

It does sound like a sight problem and whether she gives up driving or not, it won't harm for her to get a free eye test. These tests can pick up other diseases too, like risk of stroke, dementia, cancer etc. and are not intrusive.
Ask her when she last had an eye test then get her to book one.
.....then take it from there..... see if she improves......

I had this with my (disabled) husband. I was petrified by his driving although he protested he was fine. I said it was all very well to go out and kill yourself in an accident, but how would you live with yourself if you killed someone else? He stopped driving then.

There was no way my sister could have that conversation with DF. His problem was he drove too fast and his judgement at junctions was poor, but he had had no accidents. Just several that were clearly not his fault, twice hit when his car was stationary and parked in a car park.

We gritted our teeth and accepted that might be the way he would go. I wish he had, his last illness was slow and painful as he slowly suffocated. because of acute heart disease.

Your best bet might actually be to talk to her doctor or provider and ask them to book an appointment with her to discuss it. She may take it better from a professional third party than from you.

It's a difficult discussion to have, but one that's absolutely essential if someone's driving isn't safe. I'm not sure if it's available in your area, but some communities have seniors' driving test programs to assess someone's ability to drive safely. DriveABLE is one example.

It's a problem isn't it. My m.i.l. aged 88 is still driving.
Mr. S. got her a mobility scooter for a free 3 week trial and if she wants one, she'll get a brand new one for free from a local charity.

But, she hasen't even tried to use it because friends and some of her other AC don't she'll be able to manage it and yet think she's still OK to drive.

Your description of your mum's driving sums up my m.i.l. Lisalou. If she were my mum and I'd tell her it was time to stop. I had to do this with my step dad, it was awful because he loved cars, was an advanced driver and cried when he gave up his keys but after a few days thanked me, because he knew it was for the best.

My husband took his father’s car keys and removed the vehicle from the garage. I have given my daughter permission to tell us when our driving is no longer safe.
However, even in a city, losing your car is akin to losing some independence.

You have a gentle way out if you can tell her the car is beyond repair. A white lie, but it will solve the problem of you feeling that you are upsetting her. Together, you can make alternative plans for travel.
My father in law’s driving came to an end when he had an accident at a junction. It was then that we realised how dangerous his driving had become. We regret not intervening sooner.