the "hard" menopause

gillybob, could you ask for a referral to a gyneo to discuss the options? I bet there's a good chance, that if you could afford the £250 to see one privately, the gyneo would be writing to your GP telling them to prescribe HRT.
The heavy bleeding is awful. I drove 3 miles to work, only to find my lower clothing all needed to be changed. My GP told me I wouldn't put up with that kind of bleeding from anywhere else in my body and prescribed progesterone for 3 months. I was on the waiting list for a hysterectomy but luckily HRT sorted it all out.
A friend who like you, ran her own business and had done so successfully for 25 years, found herself regularly running off to cry after run ins with builders she was supervising. Never happened before. she is anti medication but took HRT and said it had her 'back to normal' within a couple of months.

I asked to be referred Esspee and after various tests and biopsies ( thankfully clear) the consultant offered me tablets to stop the bleeding ( progesterone so makes hair loss even worse ) to be taken on an of and when basis . He agreed with my GP no HRT . Whereas my sisters GP gave it to her with zero symptoms . I have MS which is why I don’t want to change GP ( DH has several health issues too ) but I’ve checked and HRT does not effect it .

Do basically I’ve got to shut up and put up with it .

It does surprise me how many of you were taken off of, or were refused HRT by your doctor and meekly submitted. It is even happening today despite government guidelines (NICE guidance on the menopause) being positive about the use of HRT. You can change your doctor or ask to be referred to a menopause clinic. Why continue to use a doctor who refuses to treat your oestrogen deficiency and then have to put up with the results such as VA and osteoporosis?
Learn to fight ladies!

Thank you for all your replies-it’s been a revelation to read them. We are all different and menopause hits us all in different ways. And it seems that there is no right way to deal with it. But and understanding GP seems essential here.
At 64, I feel that my hideous menopause symptoms are behind me now, well mainly. But I do feel some resentment that my GP was so inflexible with me over this issue. Maybe I should have been more insistent and persistent, changing GP or trying to change his mind. HRT gave me my life back for five years and then it was snatched away again. Perhaps the perceived risks of continued use should have been mine to deal with, not his. But can’t turn the clock back. Onwards and forwards.

My menopause has been very hard indeed. It started quite late when I was 53 (I’m 56 now). Horrendous night sweats and flushes, hair loss, Bleeding on and off (have had various tests thankfully all clear) which drives me nuts not knowing if/when it will start or stop. I could cry for anything, I’m irritable and just down right miserable . But my GP won’t prescribe HRT as my mum had breast cancer quite young.

My sisters periods just stopped suddenly aged 46 no other symptoms at all. She asked her GP for HRT as all her friends were taking it and guess what she got it.

HRT all the way for me. The night sweats were so disgusting, I'd have to wake DH and we'd be re- making the bed at 3 am every night. Who needs it. I tried going off it, but the sweats kicked in again within weeks, so I'm back on for life now.

Life is too short to put up with this horrible stuff - why suffer when you don't have to. Describing menopause as " the hard option" as if you're some kind of tough warrior, is ridiculous.

I never took the pill and I’m grateful that when my heavy periods stopped and the hot flushes and sweats started, I was recommended Red Clover. I took it for 4 weeks and that was it. I kept a packet by for a year in case of recurrence of occasional hot flushes.

I have to admit that I really had no symptoms at all, perhaps a couple of hot flushes - but it may just have been a hot summer. But I don't remember my mother having any problems. She might have got a bit bad tempered, but that may have been more down to dealing with a bolshie teenager!

I went through the menopause atthe age of 50, no problems but I was taking HRT and 23 years later with the blessing of my doctor I am still taking it, her only stipulation being that I have a review including having my blood pressure taken every year.

Soft all the way for me! Took HRT, felt amazing, all the terrible symptoms disappeared. Then , like OP , male GP withdrew 5e the medication, and I was in a terrible mess. Insisted on seeing a female GP who said” why on earth should you not get some relief “ and put. E back on it. Happy days now!

Mamie, there is a problem with topical oestrogen. It helped until it caused a bleed, after which I needed investigations and was advised not to take it again. That's one of the side effects, bleeding that is.

Though obviously people will need to consult their doctor.

Nobody should suffer from VA. There is no problem with topical oestrogen.

I agree Iam64. My autoimmune condition went into overdrive when I came off HRT and has now settled now I'm back on it. I'd also be interested in any research as I have friends who have suffered terribly from VA and their relationships have also been difficult as a result. Menopause and the effects are only now beginning to be talked about thankfully.

For what it's worth I 'toughed it out' as I didn't want to take artificial hormones.
I suffered hot flushes which weren't too awful but I wouldn't want to go through them again.

Esspee I'd be interested in your research project. As I said upthread, the menopause was easy, was lucky in having night sweats that were manageable and very heavy periods which my GP managed by prescribing 3 months of hormone treatment, which worked.
It was the after effects of the menopause that I continue to find fairly grim. Auto immune conditions that go doolally, pain in joints, muscles, tiredness, osteo Pina, osteoarthritis, etc etc (all the things you mentioned and more)

My mother and her friends took HRT into their 80's. They bought it over the internet when their GP's refused to continue prescribing. One got awful breast cancer, a couple had killer strokes but none of this happened till they were mid 80's. Not bad eh.

I would be interested in any research which takes into account the issues caused by the menopause such as osteoporosis, vaginal atrophy, and the impact of these on married life.
Do post menopausal women become less interested in sexual relationships? Do their sex lives end earlier than those on HRT.? Are they likely to die younger due to hip fractures and the like?
Everyone I know on HRT over 60 looks, and behaves, much younger than their years.

I`m another of the lucky ones who never noticed the menopause, apart from the blessed cessation of periods, which was so long ago I`ve almost forgotten what they were like. (I DID say ALMOST!)

I was so lucky compared to other women. A couple of night sweats....a hot flush now and again, felt tired sometimes but that was it. I do realise how lucky I was...and no HRT.

I was interested to read that some who had not taken the pill thought it may have influenced the easier menopause.
I had never taken the contraceptive pill, always had painful periods, had two very difficult births so when the menopause happened at 55 it was quite a relief.

I'm another one of those annoying women who "sailed through" the Menopause after a lifetime of heavy periods (except when I was on the Pill). I was Sterilised at 30 & had heavy, painful periods until I was 52.

I was apprehensive about HRT in any case as I have Epilepsy & that severely limits the choice. I had a slight bleed 11 months after my last period, my lovely male GP said if it had been more than a year he would have had to refer me. In my experience male GPs tend to be more sympathetic than female ones

One of the very lucky ones here. Periods suddenly stopped age 45, never to appear again, only 4 weeks of occasional night sweats, no mood swings.
Guess we are all very different. The age of menopause is directly associated with the onset of the menarch, the earlier that occurred the earlier the onset of menopause.

I'm another great fan of HRT. Had a total hysterectomy at 42 and was given oestrogen only HRT straight away. GP insisted on me coming off it a few years ago and my health took a plunge for the worst. As well as the horrendous night sweats and hot flushes, I experienced awful mood swings and my auto immune condition deteriorated to include degenerative spinal disease and Sacroiliitis. I eventually had enough and after a few years insisted on going back on HRT. 4 months on I'm feeling much better and intend to stay on it for life. Lots of research about the effect of hormone changes on autoimmune diseases.

I am another one who suffered no symptoms and consider myself to be extremely fortunate. I did have just a couple of odd days of a strange mood but no sweats, weight gain, heavy bleeds etc. It must be truly awful. I've often wondered why my hormones would seem to be so even.

Patticake123 There seems to be a small suggestion that the diet in such cultures may play a part, especially those where soya is a big part of the diet. At least I think I've read that several times now.
On the other hand, I had an early menopause, perhaps something to do with a partial thyroidectomy and being completely messed-up by not being given any thyroxine. However, I was married to a cruel and critical man who did not tolerate any "women's problems" writing them off as attention-seeking or excuses. So when I had hot flushes, sweats, extreme fatigue, and a huge surge in migraines, I had to pretend I was ok. Had I lived with a respecting man or a man like my Father who had a lot of time and respect for women, I think these burdens would have been so much easier to bear and the migraines may have been fewer. I actually felt ashamed of being a female with these feminine problems because he would make me out to be disgusting because of them.