Thank you Elen I will take a look. I realise that there are a lot of people worse off than me and I have lots of blessings to count but sometimes it's not that easy is it?
April 22nd Limerick (July '21 & July'23 AND....)
Earlier this year a small group of my friends organised a surprise Cream Tea for one of us who was celebrating their 50th Wedding Anniversary.
This particular friend who although she had RA got about fine, now she can hardly walk.
Another in the group moved to live near her daughter and died suddenly.
Our main driver of the group has got terminal cancer and has become a recluse.
Another had an emergency trip to A and E as she couldn’t put any weight on her feet.
We range in age from me at 71 to our oldest at 87.
We could never have predicted at that little party that the whole mix of our friendly group had such a tenuous hold on health and life.
So what I am really saying is enjoy everything you have NOW it isn’t for ever.
Thank you Elen I will take a look. I realise that there are a lot of people worse off than me and I have lots of blessings to count but sometimes it's not that easy is it?
Katy, knowing there are people worse off is not always a help, it can cause guilt - ‘I shouldn’t feel like this there are others worse off’ , yet each persons sadness, grief, pain has to be lived with, worked through
Yes these sad stories always pull us up and now I think even more ... “Life is very short for fussing and fighting ....”
The Beatles ... none of us know what’s around the corner so we should embrace all the blessings we have and be grateful ... we’ve had a difficult 8 months and we try to live for today
Live Love Laugh as much as you can ;9)
Five years ago my husband was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, the landlord of our farm ( which was also our home and income and also that of my sons, his wife and three children) deemed my husband unfit to farm and threw us out. My father died on the same day we got our notice to quit. Five years later in spite of me having a stress related stroke, we are holding our own. We moved to a different area, joined various clubs and societies (something we would never have had the time for had we remained farming) we have made new friends and we are enjoying life.
I mean” Life is very short and there’s no time for fussing and fighting ... “
As we get older it's inevitable that sickness, death and problems become larger parts of our lives, but we don't expect it when we are young. It hits much harder then. My husband died at almost 82, after a gradual decline in health. Only a few weeks later my next door neighbour, apparently fit and healthy, dropped dead. He was in his early sixties. I think that almost upset me more than the loss of my own husband, which was expected.
I also feel very much for a friend who has lost two dear sisters and his beloved dog in the course of only two weeks. Life can be such a b*** at times!
You are right Annie and I know you have had some terrible things happen. I must come across as a 'right misery' . I'm not outwardly. I do my best. I have a lovely family who seem to love me
At the end of the day, that's all we can all do, our best. My DH and daughter are eternal optimists, both having been through some difficult times. I love that they are.
Carpe Diem
We found out a couple of years ago that my husband (then 70) had inherited heart failure, but he's responded very well to having stents and taking medication. We've also lost many friends over the last two years, most of them in their early 70's but one younger. My husband's two oldest friends died early, one is his 30's and one his 40's.
Despite the sadness we live out lives quietly but happily, grateful that he has his health.
We should all make the most of being still here!
You have certainly hit the nail on the head Nankate and a truer word has never been spoken.
We were a reasonably young vibrant, fun, out door loving couple,my DH a hard worker and I was a busy contented housewife and very keen gardener.
This was in the beautiful summer of 1984.
We had just enjoyed a little seaside holiday with our darling corgi now 16 years of age.
We were both in our early 40`s.
We believe it was planned by a higher authority that specific day........because my DH had decided to miss work........something he had never chosen to do throughout our marriage...........but Scampi our corgi was very unwell and we knew his days were seriously numbered, he stayed home thinking this to be the day dear Scampi was going to die.
Then on coming into our ensuite he found me prostrate on the floor, lying in a pool of blood..... although minutes earlier I had been caring for Scampi.
In the next half hour,first the doctor and then Ambulance were escorting me to Hospital,blue lights flashing........my DH stood at the doorway helplessly watching the Ambulance take off.............. only to turn around and find our dear Scampi had actually died.
On arriving at Hospital I was immediately given a very large blood transfusion and taken to theatre where I underwent a 9 hour operation to save my life............this was the first of 4 cancers I had treated within the next 2 years..............2 truly life saving.......and another 2 fractionally less serious.
Life certainly changed drastically for us that day and that period...............our whole aspect of life took a massive turn when we realised the enormity of all that had happened............and yet I had been saved.
It was so obviously for a purpose, and so we made it our mission to discover what this mission might be. a
Firstly we decided on being baptised... together..........hand in hand.
The rest of the story a few of you may have read about in my blog......"Is there life after cancer......you bet there is"..........my life since was dedicated to helping all those struggling with not only cancer, but all life limiting serious illnesses.............until these latter few years I have been forced to take a reluctant back seat from active involvement.
But the scene is now set and the help is still available as others have kindly stepped in.
I am certainly an advocate for seizing the day,life is far too short and you just never know what might well be in store around the corner.............grab the day and live it to the full.
My only son, I have a wonderful daughter too, waited till he was 43 to marry the girl of his dreams. 5 months later he got up in the middle of the night and simply dropped dead. It turned out that he’d had a heart condition which none of us knew about. He didn’t know either. So many things have gone wrong in my life but this was the worst. It was 18 months ago but we are still reeling from the shock.
I miss him so much but then I look round and think I’d better appreciate those who are left because at any moment something could happen to them.
Never ever take the ability of being able to walk without pain for granted. I did until I couldn't! I await my second hip replacement.
Enjoy each and every day, whenever possible.
Thank you for reminding us of the frailty of life/health, Nan. It also makes us count our blessings however small. Perhaps one should do so daily?
Gosh that is such a sobering tale NanKate - we should all, young and not so young, give thanks every day for what we have. We really do need to live every moment, appreciate every moment. I came across this motivational video on Facebook the other day (yeah, I know, I hate motivational 'gurus' too, but this one did make me think!).
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcW5X9kEJEw
I have noticed this in our Pilates class. We've all been attending for around 15 years. Over the last few years two have died unexpectantly, and one has had to leave because of dementia. Our oldest lady is a spry 80 year old and the rest range from late fifties upwards. Sad to think we were all fit and well when the class started.
Now I’m depressed having read this thread ?
Our lives aren't going to last forever so try to take joy in the present. I know this must be so hard for those suffering illness, pain or emotional hurt. Whenever I feel down I reflect on the early death of my two sisters, 13 and 35. They both had cystic fibrosis and fought for every breath they took. I could have been the same but for some reason I was born as the gene carrier. I try to remind myself to live on for them, the life they never had and be grateful.
My motto although perhaps a little morbid sounding is I dont want to be ĺying on my death bed with regrets at things I wanted to do.
As fpr long term plans I have learnt things never work out how you expect something happens to change them .
My husband had a close group of friends through school days , scouting, mountain rescue, university, six of them, they all had their lives mapped out.
My husband , a police officer died age 30 in a car accident
The best man at our wedding, a dentist died age 38 from cancer .
Another left university , a brilliant artist, hanged himself age 24.
Another , studying medicine , ‘came out’ his parents cut him off, no emotional of financial support , he vanished from our lives .
One became an MP , the other lad, his brother , was a university lecturer, my elder daughter married his nephew ?
A lovely group of close friends , only two went on to reach retirement age.
All from similar families , all such fun.
So sad for you coast, I just can't imagine it. Almost unbearable . There are such sad stories here
for you all.
NanKate, yes things can change in a minute especially at "our age "life is short dont let it pass you by.
It may be worth trying Age UK for assistance as they are very helpful there is most likely a branch near you worth a try anyway
I lost a dear, lifelong friend last year and this really pulled me up short. She was fit, full of life, loving her family and giving so much to others. Then within no time at all she was gone. I felt physically sick for months every time I thought about her and the suddenness of her ending. Now I view life a little differently and try to remember, if I feel inclined to whinge, that she would love to be here with the chance to do whatever it is I am about to do.
My sister and I were on a coach holiday 10 months ago. She was fine and managed everything. She is being admitted to a care home next week. She can't make a cup of tea for herself now. A year makes a huge difference sometimes as we all get older
After a relatively active life and enjoying hobbies and freedom in retirement,I was out shopping and had quite a bad debilitating stroke, No warning whatsoever (71), Not being able to even get out of bed for 4 weeks, quietly told myself my life is over. Living alone, recovery has been slow and very hard.
After weeks of physio at home, I got back on my feet, climbing stairs and also driving again, I realised that although my life has had a big hiccup, it is not over and there are so many worse off than me. So now I take one day at a time and enjoy every minute and will never take life and health for granted again.
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