How life can change in the turn of a sixpence

You are right Annie and I know you have had some terrible things happen. I must come across as a 'right misery' . I'm not outwardly. I do my best. I have a lovely family who seem to love me At the end of the day, that's all we can all do, our best. My DH and daughter are eternal optimists, both having been through some difficult times. I love that they are.

As we get older it's inevitable that sickness, death and problems become larger parts of our lives, but we don't expect it when we are young. It hits much harder then. My husband died at almost 82, after a gradual decline in health. Only a few weeks later my next door neighbour, apparently fit and healthy, dropped dead. He was in his early sixties. I think that almost upset me more than the loss of my own husband, which was expected.
I also feel very much for a friend who has lost two dear sisters and his beloved dog in the course of only two weeks. Life can be such a b*** at times!

I mean” Life is very short and there’s no time for fussing and fighting ... “

Five years ago my husband was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, the landlord of our farm ( which was also our home and income and also that of my sons, his wife and three children) deemed my husband unfit to farm and threw us out. My father died on the same day we got our notice to quit. Five years later in spite of me having a stress related stroke, we are holding our own. We moved to a different area, joined various clubs and societies (something we would never have had the time for had we remained farming) we have made new friends and we are enjoying life.

Yes these sad stories always pull us up and now I think even more ... “Life is very short for fussing and fighting ....”
The Beatles ... none of us know what’s around the corner so we should embrace all the blessings we have and be grateful ... we’ve had a difficult 8 months and we try to live for today
Live Love Laugh as much as you can ;9)

Katy, knowing there are people worse off is not always a help, it can cause guilt - ‘I shouldn’t feel like this there are others worse off’ , yet each persons sadness, grief, pain has to be lived with, worked through

Thank you Elen I will take a look. I realise that there are a lot of people worse off than me and I have lots of blessings to count but sometimes it's not that easy is it?

Troubles don’t seem to come singly do they? In his fifties my DH went from being (seeming) fit and active to having a heart condition. His health seems to be more and more precarious so, yes, seize the day.

Indeed. My DH developed heart failure at 49 after a major operation to remove a benign tumour and replace a disk in his spine that it had eaten away. He died just over two years later two years ago next September suddenly when he appeared relatively stable at 51.

KatyK,I urge you to go on to u tube,and read Dr Joe Dispenza’s .Motivational talks,He explains that we hang on to things that have happened to us in the past,and therefore,we assume that it makes us what we are? I’ve only just discovered him?please read,hope it helps.
Also anyone out there hanging on to past hurtful experiences, helped me a lot.Amazing Man.

Gosh you are so right NanKate and everyone else on here. One minute you can be sailing along enjoying life then suddenly it jumps up to bite you and things can change for ever. It's not morbid to think about the transience of life, and I think helps me to come to terms with the fact that we humans are tiny insignificant dots in time and space and therefore to appreciate what I can on on a daily basis. I think realising this also helps me to put worries into perspective (sometimes) and to have a little more understanding and empathy towards others. There was a recent thread entitled 'is 70 the new 50', which was clearly meant in a lighthearted and positive way. Sadly although much healthier and living easier lives than before, our bodies still age and 70 is not the new 50, not for me it ain't!

We were married nearly fifty two years and then my husband contracted cancer and died. Nothing has ever been the same since and I miss the life we had as a couple. He never got to enjoy his retirement as he got ill, just before he gave up work.

Enjoy life when you can as you never know when your situation will change.

Thank you Alexa . Life can be very difficult. It seems to me that you are making a good job of it. for you too.

Thanks Katy. However a lot of my pessimism is due to my present timidity , and slow learning as child. I had a happy enough childhood. When I was a young woman I was full of confidence in myself and everything else. Then I learned better. I hope I am still learning.I 'd rather be scared of life than not face up to reality .

Lots of moral support towards you from me, Katy.

Life is very cruel. We learned last week that a neighbour died suddenly on a cruise for their Golden Wedding - he never even got to open the cards and presents. Another couple who lived up the street went on holiday and he also died aged just 52. And on Sat my cousin's husband died after a short illness - very fit active man younger than my cousin at 75. You don't know how long you have so really should make the most of it while you can.

Me too Alexa You are not on your own. Carpe diem is a great saying but not so easy for some. My childhood was a nightmare and I thought that when that was over I would feel great and would be happy. It wasn't and I'm not. We have had a lot of tragedy since then, as I'm sure many of you have. I do my best not to make everyone around me miserable. We have a nice life here but I am constantly waiting for the next bad thing. You can't change your nature and believe me I do try. Sorry for all your losses.

Such sad stories. Time to treasure what we have now as things can change so suddenly at the drop of a hat. My 36 year old son was struck down with GBS syndrome two years ago. He was lucky, as at least he can still walk, although his physical strength will never be the same. Some people never fully recover and are left with serious mobility and heart problems so we have to be grateful. Last year he got married and we were all so happy believing a corner had been turned. Alas this was not to be as his new wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in March of this year, less than a year before their first anniversary. Both are truly being tested so early in their relationship. Yes, we need to be grateful for all we have and I know my son and DIL have so much family love to give them strength. Sometimes life can seem so cruel but such goodness and kindness can also be found too in such situations. I feel so sad for anyone without that care, love and support.

I don't need that warning as I'm continuously afraid of life and have to divert my attention elsewhere.

So true nankate in the last few years my three of my closest friends all my age (mid 60s) have lost their husbands unexpectedly (including the husband who 'came out' after 25 years of marriage and three children). So I try to do my best for DH, look after him and stop wondering why he isn't Rufus Sewell.

In two weeks, I moved house , my elder daughter was rushed to hospital, I found out my three sisters and my nieces and newphews were in a private chat room talking about my daughter, I asked me nephew who had started the chat to please stop ,leave my daughter some dignity, he refused so I said ‘ just sod off’ . They did, not one of them has spoken to me for 18 months, and we live in the same town.

Oh don't "conserve" your money - get out there gal!!

Or as vampires like to say, Carpe Jugulam

I agree with you all. But for me it is hard to actually put it into practice, to change your mind set suddenly. I am trying to conserve the money we have, but maybe I should just enjoy some of it now.

I do quite often just "enjoy the moment". I've had a few perfect snapshot moments lately, just fun things I was doing with my uke group.

When I think of a family member with bad MS, I am grateful I can walk, even though more painfully than in earlier years. We just never know.

True Nan life is a precarious affair.All we can do is appreciate what we have at the time.

That happens so quickly Nankate we need to make the most of friends and family and our lives. Carpe Diem indeed.