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Too late for a ‘bun’ ?

(14 Posts)
sodapop Fri 10-Aug-18 15:56:28

The menopause is telling us we are too old to have children.
This is a completely selfish act with apparently no thought for the welfare of the child. I understand a parent can die even at a young age but that does not make this right.
I know whereof I speak as my mother was 50 when I was born. No family extended or otherwise were there for support as they were all so much older.
Just because something is now possible doesn't mean it should happen.

Bluegal Fri 10-Aug-18 15:52:22

Oh mi goodness - have just read this and it's making me shiver.

My view is that the woman does need full medical treatment now she is pregnant but the 'specialists' who enabled her to undergo fertility treatment (not clear if this was IVF/donor or what) need to be looked at. If it's a case of 'money talking' without due thought to how this woman is going to progress/who is going to look after her during her pregnancy etc then they should be made accountable for her medical treatment now! The dangers she faces, such as pre-eclampsia, diabetes etc are so high, it is irresponsible of any doctors to agree to this...surely?

Obviously not aware of all the facts....

FlexibleFriend Fri 10-Aug-18 15:46:27

My mum didn't live to see my mid teens and she was only 48 but she was still a brilliant mum.

M0nica Fri 10-Aug-18 15:36:35

I am not sure what life expectancy for a 67 year old is in China, but unless she has a lot of close family who are as signed onto her decision as she is and prepared to take over if she dies. I would think her decision very selfish as the chances are she will not see them even live to their mid teens.

We cannot have everything we want in life. My two sisters and most of my close friends would have liked children but they did not happen for a variety of reasons. All of them accepted the inevitable and got on with life.

However, they are conceived and i see no reason to abort them. They did not choose to have such an elderly mother.

FlexibleFriend Fri 10-Aug-18 12:17:27

I could understand her being refused fertility treatment but not encouraged to have a termination. They are alive and viable so she should be allowed to carry them. No I wouldn't do it myself but that doesn't make it wrong.

OldMeg Fri 10-Aug-18 12:01:28

No one should coerce a pregnant women of any age into having a termination. I can think of a few examples where it might be in the interest of the child to abort, but not just on mothers age.

Fennel Fri 10-Aug-18 11:48:25

I hope she manages to carry them until birth. especially having lost a son.
She will probably need to be in hospital the last few months.
Hopefully she has family to help out eventually.

paddyann Fri 10-Aug-18 11:41:33

I think we're all different ,its noticeable that the aging fathers dont get this stuff in the press.I would certainly have been happy to have another baby well into my 50's if it had been possible.It took 9 pregnancies to have the two children I have and I understand the need to keep going until you succeed.
If the mother is fit and healthy why not? Some people lose their mothers when they are young,my own granny died when my dad was 12 ,maybe she shouldn't have had the 4 kids she left behind?Life is unpredictable and as long as she has a back up plan if anything happens than its no ones business but hers .

Maggiemaybe Fri 10-Aug-18 09:57:08

No I wouldn’t, and I pity the poor children.

TerriBull Fri 10-Aug-18 09:56:04

Meant to add, very sorry she lost her only child many years ago,

TerriBull Fri 10-Aug-18 09:52:56

I thought this was going to be a thread about hairstyles grin

Yep must agree, I'm about to spend 2 days looking after grandchildren aged 4 and 8, I'm younger than the woman in question, it's the stamina that's required for young children it isn't always there as you age. We go through the menopause for a reason. I believe one mother who embarked on very late motherhood has already died, I hope she had a contingency plan. Of course death and illness could strike a younger mother, but not so likely. It also seems terribly unfair to the child on so many levels, they may end up as carers.

ContraryMary88 Fri 10-Aug-18 09:47:53

Would have been a better option ......fat fingers again

ContraryMary88 Fri 10-Aug-18 09:47:12

Personally no, but the story is sad, if I had lost a child who knows how I would feeling? she has obviously been obsessed about having a child for so many years, maybe counselling old have been a better option.
She is only 13 weeks and I would be surprised if her body could cope with a full term preganancy. We will see.

Mamissimo Fri 10-Aug-18 09:20:41

I had my twins at 27, and the afterthought son at 36....and the difference in my stamina as my children grew was marked as they reached their teenage years. I have some sympathy for this lady but she isn’t putting the welfare of these potential children first! I wouldn’t do it....would you?
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/chinese-woman-67-refuses-to-terminate-pregnancychinese-woman-67-refuses-to-terminate-pregnancy-9nftdd37l?shareToken=c97d7537be27d058735d5239f7abc2c7