Things that you wish you had done in your 40s and 50s.

I should have left my job and moved on to a new one. I stayed in my last position for thirteen years, at least ten of which were highly stressful and miserable. Looking back I cant think why I stayed, but I was so hemmed in by misery at the time I couldnt see the wood for the trees. On the plus side I was able to retire at 63 when my state pension began and the two pensions together are enough for me to have a wonderful life now.

From a male perspective wish I had got the balls to leave my wife instead of trying to fix something that was broken and started afresh but time is a healer and I remain optimistic!!!!

Normandy would be lovely - anywhere would be lovely

I wish I hadn't let myself go so much. I lost something of myself, depressed really, wish I'd had antidepressants then and dealt better with DH re my mother and her visits. We had two sons, eldest severe sp needs, PMLD. I sank a bit. We had some tough times though I loved my little family and our lives too. Sounds contradictory probably. Wish I'd appreciated my figure,etc!

Yes, Jalima you are more than welcome. I was thinking of a quiet week in Normandy - would that suit? Can’t run much myself so plane or train were my options ?

Is that far enough muffin?

I would offer to come with you, but can't run now (never could, really!).
I must admit that I sometimes felt like running away but never managed it - "things can only get better" I hope.

Right now this very day my aim for my forties is to run away to France ?

My 'annus horribilis' was when I was 40 and my 40s and late 50s were probably the most difficult (so far!).

Yes, Lucas Art, I am happy now but it took a couple of years counselling to get to where I am now. If you're feeling low and unsure where your life is going, talking to a counsellor is a great way of sorting out what you really want.

I wish i could go back to my body before the menopause. I didnt appreciate how soft and wrinkle free my skin was, how thick my hair was and how strong i was, now i have terribly dry skin, thinning hair and some days i feel quite frail especially when i can't even undo a lid on a bottle or jar!!! I had so much more energy and slept well too.Now i am lucky to get 5or 6hours a night and usually sucome to an afternoon snooze.

Thanks to everyone who took time to reply from original post, it is very interesting! My weekend has been a busy one so my apologies for not replying sooner!

I don't even know why I posted this question, I know I was a bit low, I worry about my future with my husband. I am only in my 40s - sorry I haven't mentioned in my OP hope I am still welcome to ask questions... I think I probably should have posted in "Ask a granny forum" instead!

I really appreciate all of your replies, I read them all. Most said leave their husbands, travelling, music concerts, learn new or continue skills. Well done for those who achieved new qualifications, re-trained and career moved during those times! Sometimes I feel my brain no long function, my energy level is record low!

From the sound of this thread, most of you are happy now? I guess things we have done or not done shouldn't have much impact to your retirement? I know my question is really vague... I probably worry over nothing!

I injured my back when I was forty-one, but in spite of that I re-trained in my forties for the career I had always wanted.

After seven years (five years at university and two years in practice), I qualified and then spent more than twenty years doing what I had always wanted to do, working well into my seventies.

I realise I was very privileged to be able to re-invent myself in middle age, thanks to the good man I married so many many years ago.

I loved my 40s and 50s. They were the years I could get on and do lots of things. I travelled to see how services were provided in other parts of the world, did a masters and a doctorate and all sorts of other things I never thought I could do! Je ne regrette rien!

I wish I'd started going to festivals earlier - I was in my late 40's when I started although I had been to a lot of concerts since my teens including Queen's last one.

Also wish I hadn't given up piano lessons - didn't start them until my late 30's and gave up at stage 4 as I didn't have the time to study then gave the piano away.

I married and had two teenagers looking to achieve their own ambitions by the time I was in my mid thirties. That is when I began to live. I do not look back and say' I wish' because although my ambitions had to wait they eventually came about.

I did get divorced in my early 40s, then remarried. I wish I had the confidence to learn to drive post divorce and to accept the invitations to travel long distance to visit friends.

I wish I’d had more time to spend with my mother. She died when I was 45 and I was so busy with my job and bringing up my two children alone after being widowed in my 30s.

I was already on to DH mark 2 in my 40's/50's so no regrets there. Travelled the world with him (wonderful) BUT often envied stability of friends who had never left their hometown, only to discover lately that they envied me!). Maybe the grass is always greener . . . . . That said, wished I had started writing earlier, wished I had joined a choir and kept up my piano, but I don't dwell on it. I always think that if you like where you are in the present, everything you ever did, mistakes and all, got you to this point. So although it's ok to feel sad about missed opportunites etc, don't dwell on them.

Lots of serious stuff that keeps me awake at night and one day I might have the courage to talk about all in that in a counselling situation however for now and for this thread I wish I had taken up golf earlier. I might have got good at it by now and be winning some prize money.

I am still in my early 50’s so can’t speak about regretting this decade yet! But I wish I had been more forceful with my GP in my 40’s about what turned out to be a huge slow growing cancerous tumour in my stomach, and not the extra weight that the GP kept lecturing me about! If I had I might not have felt so tired and unwell for years before it was eventually diagnosed and now might not be slowly slowly recovering from life threatening surgery

My forties were a happy time, two lovely kids and a great dh
Still got my dh and d but not my son.

I'm 73 and now that my youngest is 33 and living in Wales, I wish I'd had more children...maybe another 2.

Did loads of things in my 40's and 50's. Worked part time, was an agent for a parliamentary candidate, had holidays all over the world, saw the three boys get on well in life. Stood for local and county council.

I wish somebody had taught me to dance so I could've joined in with the crowd. Had nobody to do this.

I wish I had been able to have the baby we both wanted.