Stop putting yourself down. It is a very negative trait and is often self fulfilling. Your looks would suddenly improve beyond measure if you were more positive about them. Anyway, they clearly have not stopped you marrying at sometime and having children and grandchildren, whatever your current marital status, so for many people your looks were nothing exceptional and certainly haven't stopped them loving and caring for you.
Look in magazines, newspapers, online until you see a style that is on someone (of any age) with basically the same shaped face and neck length and which you like, cut it out and tell the hairdresser that that is what you want.
Age is irrelevant to how you style your hair. I have just spent 3 days people-watching as I tended a stall at an outside event and I can tell you that there are women of all shapes, shapes, sizes and ages, who never let any of these facts come between them and their choice of hair style, clothing style or anything else and a lot of them looked terrific in outfits and hair colours that, if only described would sound awful.