Worried about my toddler grandson

Have very similar concerns about my own 21 month old grandson. Sometimes I’m convinced he’s in the spectrum and other times I think I’m googling too much! He has no language at all and smiles very little. He is, however, very well developed physically - crawling and walking early and absolutely determined to climb everything! Perhaps it is just his personality but we’re keeping an eye on it and have seen a health visitor who is going to get him on a “chatterbox” class for slow speakers. I don’t know, just when you think your own kids are doing fine, along come the grandkids to give you a whole new load of worries! I wish you well, you sound like an amazing gran xx

* good

icanhandthemback
Of course. I agree with your summary and understand that, perhaps due to time constraints, the horse is the first animal that doctors think of. The analogy was a goid one.
It's good that GNers who are more involved with their GC can often point out details that docs don't see in a 10 minute walk-in.

The Early Years Development Matters guides have overlapping age bands as those who developed them were well aware of the wide band of " usual or normal"

To get a referral you need to have reasons to ask for one. Language delay on its own won’t necessarily be enough. My GS was taken by his parents to see about hearing because he was like OP’s son and they did a hearing test before dismissing their slight concerns. It was only when I spoke to the same person, casually pointed out a couple of things in conversation like the lack of waving goodbye, regression, unusual hand usage that she suddenly agreed there were a couple of red flags there so we were referred. Most often busy professionals will see patients as horses because that is what they are used to seeing but every so often it turns out their patient is a Zebra, it just has to be pointed out.

Children with no 'issues can pick up multiple languages at the same time.
The earlier they start hearing/ learning, the more capable they become.
Two of my GC speak fluent English and Italian (SiL Italian D English) and have done since they were 2.5.
I wouldn't worry overmuch about keeping to 'regulation' attainment dates unless some milestones are really late or not met.
If the child doesn't get spoken to much by his parents, then he will obviously have delayed speech.
Few of us on here are paediatricians so it's best for parents to ask for a referral.
Best wishes.

Having done a bit of research, it's generally supported that bilingual children will say their first word later but that it should be within normal ranges 8-15 months. Of course there are always children who are perfectly fine but don't talk until after this point, but with the other signs I think it definitely needs watching. Has he been generally late in all development OP, so gross and fine motor along with language and communication?

I guess as in a lot of things, a little common sense will go a long way.

You have such a lot of experience with fostering if you feel all is not well I would guess you are probably right but autism is a huge spectrum and speech delay seems to be very common. I think I would watch and play a bit longer and make sure he goes to nursery school as soon as possible, probably around age 2 How does he get on at the little playgroup does he interact at all with the other children, he is still very young.

If you see the GS regularly would you be allowed to video him showing how he doesn't respond to people. Also how he plays eg lining up cars. Could you then accompany DDIL and baby to see a Dr or health visitor and show them the film. Do hope he receives the attention he needs.

You are right oldbatty but there is no harm in being concerned. My daughter recognised from a very early age that her son could be autistic (later than most unclenching his fist as a baby and no baby babbling as well as the usual signs)and I tried to dismiss it and so time went on.She was right and I was wrong.He did have an early diagnosis but it could have been earlier if she had acted on her instinct.

Bilingual children do tend to start talking later than monolingual ones, and boys often start talking later than little girls, apparently because our stone age ancestors left hunting to men, who had to be quiet, whilst women gathered fruit etc. and looked after children, so they talked!

Right now, try not to worry. You say he plays peek-a-boo, so there is some social interaction, try other suitable games for a child his age, clap, clap handies comes to mind.

I haven’t read all the posts but wanted to reply because this is where I was last year with my grandson. The language delay may be quite normal but with your experience with children, I think your gut feeling is the best thing to go with.
I would be pushing for a review because the earlier they catch things, the better the progress at school and life.
There are ways you can teach a child who doesn’t interact and doesn’t have speech. Play alongside, put something they are interested in up alongside your eyes and as their eyes go up say ‘look at me’ or just ‘look’. It will take time but it is a start. Use language minimally, one or two words for things so the message doesn’t get lost in noise. Play alongside with identical toys and mimic the child.
If you are looking for signs which will trigger concern from the professionals, look for hand flapping, hand wringing and finger tapping on other fingers. Look for stimulators like rocking, certain materials. Look for regression in stuff. We noticed our boy would lose a learned word when he learned a knew one or would say a word once then never say it again. Start learning Makaton just in case you need it. Mothers of Neuro-Typical (NT) babies are using it these days and it really helps most babies. Have a look at the National Autism website for ideas about how to progress development. Even if he is NT or non NT, he will benefit from their pointers.
Finally, if you want to message me, please feel free.

I'm not sure we should all be jumping in with a diagnosis. 20 months and not talking is not 'latent speech development'. Some children like to line things up, some like to throw things. One of my sons liked to have symmetry and couldn't be bothered to talk till around age 3.

One of my boys (the middle son) did not start talking until he was two years of age, but when he started he spoke in sentences. I had taken him to have hearing tests but all was well, clearly, he was just a lazy little lad but taking it all in.

My grandson is on the autistic spectrum and lining up cars was a favourite occupation. He didn’t like me playing the guitar and singing! And covered his ears. He was also worried about being called a monkey by his parents and used to confide in me - saying I’m not really a monkey am I Aggie (his name for me) again like autistic children he often took things literally. There is a book about autism called ‘Its raining cats and dogs’ - could be worth reading

Children brought up to be bilingual are invariably slow to start talking (and other social skills?)

This definitely sounds as if Autism is the cause of this kind of behaviour and latent speech development. He seems to be showing typical Autistic traits such as lining up his cars and not inter acting with other children, It’s a difficult subject to suggest to his parents and diagnosis is still far from perfect. I don’t have Autistic offspring but did work with Autistic children for many years. I hope your DGS will be able to have a probable diagnosis soon so that he and his parents can get as much help as possible. Sadly still far from ideal in many areas.

I feel for you. I was in a similar position when child minding a little boy who was an only child. I knew he was autistic from the day I met him, but his parents didn't seem to realise. He was eventually diagnosed at aged eleven. Later, when working with adults with learning disabilities, I heard about a wonderful woman called Phoebe Caldwell. She has done amazing work with severely autistic people, who mostly also have learning disabilities. One of the main things she says is that you have to enter an autistic child's world; he cannot easily enter yours. This involves getting down with him, and mirroring his play, sounds, etc.. This is something you can do with him even if he isn't autistic. If it turns out that he is autistic, you will have helped him very early, and if he isn't, you'll be the fun Granny who likes to play! www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjKxu6QKjAo

His mother may be depressed and/or homesick. Depressed mothers stimulate and interact with their children less - but if that's the reason then he will catch up as he increasingly has activities with other people such as playgroup.

concerning those that you although not related to are close. Have you ever voiced your concerns to the child's father as he seems to have a very good relationship with you. Were it me I would talk to the father as although you may be concerned and please don't take this as criticism is up to the parents not yourself to look into any issues concerning their child's development.

A problem aired always helps Grannyris doesn’t it? The hard thing is airing those concerns with the parents if they are oblivious to them.That’s why noting things down can help also.

Madsad it’s also very typical with autistic children to do this.
Our own DS simply played with cars, mainly crashing them into each other and zooming them about.
Our autistic DGS merely spent ages putting them in lines.
Of course there must be other signs that worry, not just this, but taken overall, with other concerns, no face, eye contact etc or response to name, am afraid it is typical of autism.

I had the same worries about our 18 month grandson. A few months ago I was convinced he was autistic but recently he has responded more. He only has one word, look, and has only just begun to walk. He rocks on hands and knees. However his half brother didn’t speak until he was three and was fluent immediately. Every child is different and has their own normal.

I Am a nursery teacher and if he attends nursery it will be picked up rest assured. However In the meantime the health visitor is the person to approach but I would advise this should come from the parents not you. Be mindful that if you interfere you may lose contact. Keep an eye be careful.