Controversial Question Regarding Historical Sexual Abuse

I haven’t been in the same situation but I have worked with survivors and I believe it’s never too late to report something Do not ever feel guilty about anything as you have survived in what ever way has been right for you
If now you feel like pursuing this do go ahead but do it for you not for anyone else
Have your friends and colleagues actually said outright they don’t believe you or are they perhaps a bit silent and uncomfortable to talk about it with you as they just don’t know what to say
You say you have had counselling and feel comfortable talking about your distressful early life if you do feel you want to take it further I d urge you to reconnect with your counsellor so you are not doing it without support
Everyone has the right to be believed and everyone has the right to justice for past crimes against them you are obviously a strong woman to have got this far
Good luck which ever way you decide to go

Hi Bluebelle, Thanks for your reply. Someone I have known for 35 years suggested it was a false memory, like her daughter had? Others, I can just tell they do not believe me. I think when you have been brought up in care, there tends to be a general distrust. Like you must be bad or something. The counselling was a long time ago, I have moved twice since then so not practical. I want to do something but cannot imagine the reaction of just walking into a police station and declaring it, especially now when the police are under so much pressure and partly blaming some of their horrendous work load working on historical abuse?

The police are under a lot of pressure also from mopping up people who aren't criminal: a lot are suffering from unresolved issues, and resources to help them are few and far between.
Better that they face their issues and deal with them, rather than letting them take over.
You speaking out could only be a good thing, if you could bring yourself to do it.
I'm sure there are organisations who would support you every step of the way.

Bengal why not connect with a support group for survivors you will find a lot of help and support especially if you do want to t make it to the police (police have specially trained personnel, often, but not always a woman) you would get so much help from others who may have already been through this. Most large towns have support groups or there will be telephone or online support if you are more rural
The first thing to do is make contact with some professionals who will be with you every step of the way whether you go ahead or not

Bengal I don't have any experience of this or know anyone who has but having seen several cases on TV I also would urge you to report it. There will be records of the place you were resident at the time so it should be possible to find the person who did this to you and he should be prosecuted - not matter how long ago it was. You were only a child and not responsible for this person's horrendous treatment of you which has obviously affected your whole life. There may be others out there who suffered and feel the same as you and would then come forward. At the very least it would be a good thing to do as BlueBells suggests and find a support group to talk to.

Yes I think BlueBelle is right if you are not confident, talk to other people who have been in a similar situation. Hope you find a resolution Bengal

thesurvivorstrust.org/national-helplines/

Hello Bengal, the NSPCC may be able to support you as you consider whether to report the abuse you suffered. In our area, there are specialist NSPCC teams, very experienced in investigation or offering therapeutic support to survivors. There is always a duty officer available for any initial approach. Other charities like Bernardos are also highly skilled in supporting people facing the difficulties you are. Bernardos were active in attempts to support the young people involved in the grooming abuse scandal.

One of the issues you could consider if you are able to find someone to support you in considering whether to make a formal complaint, is whether you speak to a representative of the local authority in whose care you lived. If you do reach the point where you decide to do that, don't do it alone, hopefully someone from NSPCC/ Bernardos/similar could support you.
Take good care of yourself. It's so difficult making these decisions.

apologies, x posted there with Bluebelle - good link.

Afraid I can't offer help directly but am pleased you found GN and felt you can post here for some good advice. I do hope you can find resolution.

All excellent advice. I do agree that you need some professional support during the process - someone who can help you make the decision as to whether to report, and also help you with the next step, whether or not you decide to report.

I am sad that this terrible experience has detracted so much from your enjoyment of life - if only these dreadful people could see the lasting aftermath of their actions. But maybe they just would not care.

I wish you all strength in this difficult process.

I think not being believed is often due to people not wanting to believe.
I suffered trauma as a child and have only been able to drip out the facts to my husband.
I only have 1 friend who knows some of the details and is supportive and most of all believes me.
As a child who was unloved and mistreated I was never beleived as adults told each other I lied to cover their own tracks.
The decision to take this further is hard as you have to be prepared to relive the trauma.
I hope you have the strength and courage to proceed.

I take it that you have a name ?
You can report the incident/s to the NSPCC or to the police who will then pass on your information to the CPS who will then decide whether to take the case further especially if it's a public safety concern----even now as these monsters don't change.
For all you know this character could have been sought by the police in the past and a report could solve who they might be looking for in a particular area ?

I hope you remain to have the courage to go ahead with this difficult area from your past for your own sake and perhaps stop someone else from suffering the same fate.
You've already shown courage in posting here x

I am so sorry to read about your pain.
The Police complained about the amount of time that they have spent investigating historical abuse when the perpetrator was already deceased prior to the report being made.
If you decide to go ahead the Police in their investigations will attempt to trace and interview others who were in the same care home as you to verify whether there were other victims.
You will be believed by the Police.
Whether they can find supporting evidence is another matter, but you are so troubled that if you do nothing you will always have the thought that "Should I have gone ahead?"

You will be believed by the Police and you must not be worried that you are wasting their time or resources, the fact of the abuse, the lack of understanding by friends and the shortage of Police resources; none of these are your fault. But, as others have said, you need professional, qualified help here, this could be a hard road, but a worthwhile one to put your mind at rest and hopefully get some sort of closure and maybe even an arrest. Our thoughts and best wishes are with you, GN is a great support.

There are police officers who specialise in abuse cases including historical cases like yours. I know one who has brought them to court successfully after investigation.
So it can and does happen that perpetrators of abuse can eventually be made to answer for their crimes. Don't be afraid that the police won't believe you. They are quite used to cases of this kind nowadays.

EllenVannin, I don't know if you have worked in, or have experience of the investigation of historical or current allegations of child sexual abuse. Your post isn't accurate in that the NSPCC don't have any role in passing allegations to the CPS. The police don't simply 'pass the information to the CPS'. The police would listen to a complainant and go on to investigate. Only after that would consideration be given to asking the CPS to consider whether their is enough evidence to justify prosecution.
I know you meant to be supportive and helpful but, to suggest to a survivor that they are duty bound to report in order to protect other potential victims is unfair. I agree with your comment that there may well have been other allegations against this perpetrator but the OP's duty in this instance, imo, is to herself. She has talked about the negative impact on her life to date. Others have pointed out that by reporting, she will be facing her abuse experience and she may not chose to do that.

Thank you all for your comments.

I do not have a name, but I could kick myself for deleting a suspicious email, but at the time I was frightened.

Having read through your posts, I am pretty sure that I cannot do this on my own, so the best thing would be to enlist the help of some support group so at least I have someone on my side.

I will check out the links and see if there is some help available in my area.

It’s a very scary thing to do, but I am sure that I need to do something.

Your time in replying to my post is greatly appreciated.

Thank You!

Iam64 I meant the police dealing with the CPS and not the NSPCC -which I already knew.

The one thing to remember is you MUST. do this for yourself and only if you feel you can It may bring up all sorts of old fears, resentments, distrust, tears so now is not the time to be doing it for any others just you to finally put it all to bed and if at any point in you journey you change your mind don’t be afraid to say ‘that’s enough’ and don’t feel bad about doing that
Times are very different now and it will be taken very seriously and you WILL BE BELIEVED