Young nana and upset, need advice

It certainly sounds as though your family are jealous at how you have turned your life around and well done you for doing it.
You have to concentrate on your younger children and your son should realise this, can't he bring the baby around to your house for visits ?
I see my son's baby every fortnight or so as they are a busy family he works 12hr days and his wife takes baby to differant baby clubs during the week so free time is precious to them.

Congratulations on how much you have turned your life round you certainly have your hands full. Of course you must concentrate on your own children and their various problems. If you haven't replied to the post on facebook I would ignore it. The gf must be less than 20 years younger than you, I am just wondering if next time you are with her and the baby you give the baby a cuddle and say how sorry you are you don't have more time etc and perhaps mention what goes on in your day. I am assuming that you want to stay in touch with this grandchild and you will need the mum on side. Your son is very young to be a dad and must be finding it hard but you were a young mum - keep talking to them rather than posting and good luck.

I agree with nfk she quite possibly just shared a post from one of her friends and didn't mean it personally.

I don't agree with those who seem to think Facebook is terrible, after all you can choose your friends and keep your posts private. If you have lived in several places it is a way to keep in touch with people on a general level and they can read (or not) what you post in their own time rather than having to take your call. If you live in the village you grew up in then it is a different matter.

Don't comment to them about it or you could end up being cut out of their lives.

I know how you feel. I've seen, by chance, on DIL's FB a horrible 'jokey' post aimed at her MIL - me.

She didn't think I would see it of course. It hurt so much and was so very unfair. I felt sick inside. We haven't really recovered from it.

Quality not quantity in the case of being with your granddaughter.
My Mil had young children when our babies were born but luckily there was no facebook and she lived far away.
She worked full time though her situation wasn't as hard as yours sounds
I hope I wasn't a resentful brat.
We sometimes helped out by having her children to stay as they helped out.
Well done to you . You have done really well. You sound like a role model.

A lot of good advice here. Try to tune out the noise, so to speak, and focus on your children still at home and your own well being. And, congratulations on making some big changes to improve your life! That takes courage and strength of character. Hopefully in time, your family will adjust to the changes and respect will follow.

Thank you all for your replies. My other children do have to come first and thats the way it has to be.

I didnt think it would be this hard to be honest, but for once im in control of my own life and my lot dont like it

Stop looking at Facebook, and just concentrate on your own children whonare young and need you.
Your son and his partner have a baby and their own life now,
Although if he is ADHD it’s going to be a bumpy ride ( which you already know.)
Just take an interest in the new baby but don’t offer anything, you already have a busy life.

At the age you are, with young children, full time job, and all that comes with that, you are at the busiest time of your life.
If you tried to tell grown up children what to do they would soon tell you they were adults. However, for some reason they still see you as having to be as much on call as when they were children.
It wasn't a nice post from your son's gf. Undeserved. Facebook is the way of things but it does cause problems particularly as the whole world seems to be sharing what would normally be a private conversation.
No advice apart from don't beat yourself up, it's not your fault.
Take care x

Sounds like there have been a lot of changes in your life Hester time to take stock and decide just how much time and energy you have for all your family. You can't be all things to all people so don't try. Prioritise the needs of your own children before anything else.
Get the FB thing into perspective and don't let it run your life.

Good on you Hester!
You've escaped from domestic abuse and from being very overweight, have joined a walking club and are now a healthy weight and you have met a new love.
You say that your family are not happy for all you have achieved and because you are finally in control of your own life.
Well that says a lot about them, doesn't it.
It seems that they are jealous of your new life.
Ignore them, carry on being you and best of luck to you for the future.

Sorry to read of your situation, sounds like nothing you do will be good enough, so try to ignore what you are hearing . You know the truth, so don’t be browbeaten.

Her own mother has passed away

What with Facebook and mobile phones both have been the ruination of so many marriages/relationships. What's the matter with people that they can't speak to someone personally/privately to iron out differences instead of letting the world and its dog know ?
It's had an horrendous knock-on effect with peoples mental health too seeing/hearing what they didn't want to hear then it being shared by many usually those malicious enough to create a mountain out of a molehill.

I can see nothing but trouble emanating from these two pieces of " technology " !

Shes a few years older and is on maternity leave too. Its difficult to stay off social media as i use it to stay in touch with friends and my daughters hobbies use fb a lot to communicate with parents and i get to see photos of my granddaughter too. Unfortunately my generation use social media as a way to communicate and facebook is a must..my daughters would miss out if i closed down fb

Ive been pushed out of a lot of stuff ive found, they all resent that ive gone from being very overweight to losing it by finding a walking group and finding love through that. None of my family like seeing me happy..because ive starting saying no to thier demands..including my own mother

Doesn’t your DGD have two grandmothers?

Ignore the FB meme, frequently they get shared for no particular reason other than the poster thinks it looks big or good. And she is still very young - and so is he - so sometimes immaturity shows through.

It may make you feel better to keep a brief note form hour by hour ‘diary’ of what your day consists of. It may even come in handy to show them when next they complain!

Another post where Facebook is creating anxiety.

The young woman (presumably also a teenager) isn't so busy with baby that she can't find time to faff about on social media posting things which are meant to harm.

You don't have to rise to her bait. She wanted to be grown up by having a baby with your son and it's now their responsibility to care of her.

My advice? Close down your Facebook account.

Yep, disengage from Fakebook, that will change that particular power balance. You can't allow yourself to get upset over a "soundbite" on social media.

I'm sorry that you're having this problem, it sounds as if you're dealing with very young parents who have a lot to learn.

FB is a source of trouble , keep off if you can . I don't see how you can give more time to the Granddaughter , you can only do your best !

Don't feel terrible - if son and gf can't see how busy you are then they jolly well should.

Best stay off social media!