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Food for thought & again no big deal.

(18 Posts)
Vickixx Thu 27-Dec-18 18:26:17

Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas Day. I certainly did despite as usual having all the work to do but hey I enjoy it that way.

Met some people this afternoon and the subject of snobbery came up after a situation happened on Christmas Eve where this particular lady complained her MIL was always a ‘total snob,filled with airs and graces’ I have actually met her and yes she does have an air about her but I believe it’s due to her upbringing,schooling etc and I actually like her. I’d rather spend time with someone who appears to have genuine airs and graces through breeding, as opposed to inverted snobbery when people say they have no time for what they class as ‘snobs’ yet they aspire to life’s very best houses cars & general possessions. They then profess to being ordinary because they mix with people less well off & actually seek to do that so they are seen as top dog. To me that’s inverted snobbery & even worse 🤔

Chewbacca Thu 27-Dec-18 18:32:52

Hmmmmm..... hard to know what to say about this...... hmm

paddyann Thu 27-Dec-18 18:44:00

I cant abide folk who forget where they came from .I have friends who moved abroad and the lives they say they had here have little ot no resemblance to the truth!

I have a nice house a good life but I'm honest and happy to tell anyone who asks that I lived for 10 years in a corporation house in(what you would call council) one of Glasgows housing schemes .It was a great place to live in the 50's lovely families and I made great friends some I still have 60 years later .I'm with your friend I'm afraid I cant abide snobs .Having WORKED for my nice house and all that I have doesn't mean I'm an inverted ...or any other kind of snob.

EllanVannin Thu 27-Dec-18 18:48:58

I don't know what to make of the starting post.

Buffybee Thu 27-Dec-18 19:05:57

I understand what you mean. Some people who have been brought up in a more "genteel" fashion, do, have an air about them. It's not usually to do with possessions or money, in fact I have met a lady you would describe as having airs and graces and her house was thread bare.
As for certain people, whose God is money and think that it makes them better than someone else, it brings to mind the saying:
"You can't buy class!"

Vickixx Thu 27-Dec-18 19:48:28

Totally agree with all posts. My point is there is such a thing as inverted snobbery,which to my mind is just as bad as snobbery in any form,either of which I can’t abide and both exist. Makes for interesting thoughts tho.

lemongrove Thu 27-Dec-18 20:59:10

Yes, inverted snobbery is just as stupid as snobbery.

Jane10 Thu 27-Dec-18 21:19:02

I agree. Talking about other people having 'airs' about them or being genteel or showing off actually says more about the speaker than the person being talked about in such a small minded way. Of course I would say that. I'm extremely posh myself!

Anniebach Thu 27-Dec-18 21:29:13

Genuine airs and graces ?

Jane10 Thu 27-Dec-18 21:45:28

What does that mean?

dizzyblonde Thu 27-Dec-18 21:52:13

I dislike people who poke fun at people as ‘public school educated’ , your school is very rarely your choice, it is your parents. To poke fun at people because of their parents choice is horrible in my opinion and as bad as doing it to people who went to comprehensives.

crystaltipps Thu 27-Dec-18 22:01:11

So someone who was brought up posh is preferable to someone who wasn’t but has achieved some sort of pretend posh?? They’re both acting posh though innit?

Jane10 Thu 27-Dec-18 22:11:49

No. We are all as we are depending on where and how we were brought up. There's almost no point in trying to.pretend to be posh -that never convinces anyone! Just look what a figure of fun Hyacinth Bucket was.

Elegran Thu 27-Dec-18 22:27:53

You put that better than I have just typed, Jane.

It is the acting posh like Hyacinth Bucket that grates, or acting as though they were brought up somewhere fashionably scruffy and "plebeian grassroots-ish", as though they are actors who haven't quite got the accent right but are pretending to be Scots, or Welsh, or whatever.

If they had family who spoke "received pronunciation" then without consciously trying to, that is how they they speak. If their family used fish knives etc, then they know their way round a formally set dinner table with an army of cutlery, and so on. Others, if they didn't have these parents to copy while they were children, don't speak like that but as their family did, or don't effortlessly use the right utemsils but neither lot of people are superior to the other lot

However, there are some people who are ready to criticise those whose upbringing is different from their own, in either direction. Some dismiss anyone from, for instance, a council estate, and others assume that using the right knife equals being a snob, and speaking and acting scruffily is somehow a virtue.

Vickixx Thu 27-Dec-18 22:32:15

Genuine airs and graces? Ok, I should have made this clearer. I mean people who perhaps at one time in history descended from a long line of nobility and life changed possibly through being disinherited. I know people like that who were clever and well spoken and they walked tall with an air about them despite being from humble beginnings in their own immediate family. You could just tell they were a bit different but more caring people you couldn’t wish to meet. I think what I’m basically saying is never judge a book by its cover.

Elegran Thu 27-Dec-18 22:57:11

Saying "airs and graces" implies that they are put-on, and probably overdone so as to emphasise that the people they are showing off to are uncouth. That is true of some people, but assuming that everyone who speaks clearly and grammatically, holds doors open and has good manners etc is showing off is demonstrating a large chip on the shoulder, just as is assuming that everyone who doesn't do those things is a potential mugger.

Vickixx Thu 27-Dec-18 23:05:23

Good point, well made Elegran 🤔

M0nica Thu 27-Dec-18 23:15:19

I do not give a toss about peoples background, education, or manners. They all tell you absolutely nothing about the person. What matters are how they act and interact.

I once worked for a charity alongside a lady who was everyone's stereo-type of 'posh,snobby and well off' and yet she could sit down with old men who had been merchant seamen or labourers and get on with them like a house on fire, sort out their benefits, deal with any other problems they had and speak of them with appreciation and respect and they really liked and respected her, nothing of the Lady Bountiful about her at all. And I have met the reverse, delicacy and understanding in people who had had hard rough lives.

Never ever judge by appearances.