It's all in the pronounciation

When my friends' GD was small, she couldn't say Granddad - he was long known as Gonad !!

When my son was 5 we had a family trip to London and we told my son that we were going on the Cutty Sark. During the tour around this beautifully preserved ship he was particularly well behaved and we were pleased seemed to enjoy it. However as we left the ship he threw himself on the deck and burst into tears. It took a little while to find out what had upset him so much......Mummy you told me we were GOING on the Cutty Sark...poor lad he felt cheated!

When I was little I was hiding under the table while my mother and her friend were discussing why it was difficult for the friend to have a baby because she had an inadequate passage. I thought she had a haddock in her passage...

As a young Sunday school attendant, reading the Lord's Prayer, I'd always say " Lead us not into " thames station " until I was reminded of what the passage was and also its meaning. I was probably 4/5 and proud to receive a Carey Bonner hymn/prayer book for my efforts.

My 4 yr old granddaughter is excited that she has been asked to be a flower girl but told us that her brother is unsure whether he wants to be 'the book person'. After a few seconds, it dawned on us that she meant 'the pageboy'!

When I was little I got very confused by the song "Underneath The Arches", which I was convinced was actually "Underneath The Archers", as in "an everyday story of country folk".

DGS 1, aged about 18months, was very frustrated one day in the car, when his Mother thought he was asking for nose wipes. Turned out to be a request for nursery rhymes on the CD player.

My son loved receiving "vultures" as present. we still call them that.

My nephew asked me why my daughter had terrible palsy,he couldn't say cerebral

At 4 I told my parents that at school we prayed to an “old nightie” (almighty)

When my daughter was about 3 or 4 we went to the seaside, and knowing she'd love the slot machines and things I said enthusiastically "we're going on the pier soon". She kept asking "are we going on the pier soon?" And I was reassuring her "yes we're going there now" as we walked along the promenade. Then we got to the pier, and she was asking " are we going on the pier soon" so I said "we're on the pier now". She got upset and said "I want to go on the pier soon!!" By this time I was getting exasperated... until it suddenly dawned on me she was looking forward to going to this exciting new place called a "Piersoon" that she thought I had been saying.

When I was little (so many, many years ago!) I was sent to the chemist and asked for some nitro-glycerine for a sore throat. Mum was mortified when the chemist rang he to establish we actually wanted glycerine of thymol....
And another one, whilst I think, my Mum went to buy a replacement part for her 'Smith & Wesson' lawnmower - we're still not sure what she meant!

My much younger sister, having been told off by our mother, told Dad that she did not like Mummy any more and wanted a blue Mummy (new)

My daughter now 34 when 5 only thing she asked for was a tamberine for Christmas, turned out she wanted a trampoline, good job I kept asking .

When our DS was about 3 he saw a steam train on the line in North Wales. He shouted "It's Jaffa Cakes". It took awhile but with careful questions it turned out he meant "Geoff Capes" the strong man famous for pulling a locomotive. Aah!

Years ago my friend's daughter aged about 4 said "I would love to have a Salvation dog" !! (obviously meant Alsatian).

My nephew told me that their new house had a ‘nativity room’ (utility).

fourormore We still say "giraffes" for "draughts"! The best one I know was a friend's niece, aged three who, when asked if she'd had a nice holiday, replied, "Yes. Plenty of sex." The interlocutor was too disconcerted to enquire further!

When my MIL had cancer her appetite was very poor and she began to have a glass of sherry as an aperitif. We explained to young DS that it meant she would eat more food. He replied. 'Well she would eat better with a pair of teeth.' (pronounced 'teef' of course.)

Another favourite was, ‘look at me I’m Sandra Dee, lousy whisper ginity’?. From the film Grease and the lyrics were, lousy with virginity.

DD2, as a child, would often sing, ‘two lips from Amsterdam ‘ ?

Aged 5 I told my parents that I was learning about the Holy Fire Engine and baby Jesus at school. She has been thus known in our family ever since.

DD aged maybe 4 came rushing out of grandma's bedroom looking shocked. "Grandmas' got horse's teeth" she announced, impressed . Grandma had been in the process of putting in her false teeth and had tried to explain what they were called.

I'm loving all of these. Keep them coming .

We were in a holiday cottage with my parents and my two young sons.

One morning my son asked "has Grandad got blue shoes?" He had just announced he was off for his ablutions!