Is there 'a cloak of invisibility' which overcomes women over the age of 50?

Not invisible but since I stopped dying my hair and embraced the silver, I've been called "sweetheart" several times either at the supermarket or worse, the hospital. Nope, I'm not a sweetheart. It feels weird, especially as I'm not small!

No, I don't feel invisible at all. I don't know if I come across as a sweet little old lady, but I get smiled at a lot, and cars stop so I can cross the road. I'm 70 but still fit and healthy so don't really need fussing over, but it is nice.

One of the distinct bonuses of age for me is that I can strike up a conversation with anybody without any fear of appearing to be chatting them up!
Although I have had an increased sense of vulnerability since Paw died - silly really and clearly in my own mind as even while he was alive I often went to theatres etc on my own and spent years of my life travelling to and from London during his many hospital visits.

I think invisibility is an internal construct. If you act confidently and with quiet assertiveness, then age, height, looks, hair colour are irrelevant.

I had an uncle, who throughout his life always expected to be ignored and missed out and for everything to always go wrong and acted accordingly - and generally life lived down to his expectations, mind you if anything did go right he never noticed.

Grandma 70, being short i can’t imagine what it’s like to be tall. I am ok being short ( tho a bit of height would be nice) but like Dolcelatte do find it a bit awkward when surrounded by tall people.

It should be like that lily lilo but sadly so often it isn’t. I remember waiting fir a friend at Victoria station years ago, I felt invisible, no one made eye contact or even apologised as they brushed passed me. It was like I wasn’t there and I did feel quite depressed.
On a more cheerful note, not long ago I was coming back from London early on a Saturday evening and got talking to 3 or 4 young men in the carriage. They were amusing, it was enjoyable and I didn’t feel ‘old’ until they asked what I was doing later that evening and I said I had been out all day so was having an early night...while they were off to a party.
Vive le difference.

I don't think conventional good looks, make up etc. make a difference but wearing something striking make you a bit more visible. I have just bought two block coloured mohair jumpers from a shop i can't usually afford to shop at, as they were in the sale. My motivation was to have something non synthetic and warm but i am almost embarrassed at the amount of attention which has led into conversations about all sorts of things I have had while wearing them.

I am nearly 70 and a young man leant over to me in the train and said 'I'm reading that book as well! Brilliant isn't it! ' We then had a lovely conversation until we arrived at my station, nothing to do with age, just a common interest. shouldn't it always be like that?

Oooh be careful Parsley. We could stray into the "beige" conversation again!

I don’t feel invisible at all. In fact since I have stopped colouring my hair that ubiquitous yellow I feel liberated. I did laugh at Grandma70’s story about her father who said older women all look alike. I am going to be more observant to see if he is right.

I have never fe!t invisible ever and think that it's not an age thing. Surely it's more how you carry yourself and project yourself, or not. ?

When my father was about 90 he joined the U3A and met lots of new people. He said he found it embarrassingly hard to tell the women apart, because “they all look the same”. It is true that old people, particularly women, look much more alike than young ones do. I’m talking properly old here, not just ‘over 50’.

I am short, 5’ 2’’, but I don’t feel invisible because of my height (unless in a crowd of tall people ?.

I’ve never even thought about whether I’m invisible or not. I don’t feel it. I am confidently articulate and opinionated, so I think I’m probably fairly noticeable in situations where those qualities are called for. I am also fairly tall, and I think that makes a difference. I just can’t imagine what it feels like to be a short person.

I have trained people in IT, am a wizz at MS office, use most forms of social media, but still people talk to me as if I may have trouble using my phone or turning on PC. It infuriates me.

Oh yes, that particularly knickers! I am not an IT whizz like you, but I was using a home computer in 1994 when hardly anyone had one. (AOL was my friend!) I had a breeze block type mobile phone when they were in their infancy too! I used to be 'cutting edge'!

If I ever have to do something online in the presence of others, they seem to assume I am all fingers and thumbs and at a loss. A dinosaur even. I set up computers and phones for my teenage children in the '90s. Their knowledge probabaly outstips mine now, but even they assume I am not au fait with certain IT functions.

That, and being called 'dear' in the shops and people talking to me in a slightly patronising manner because I am old amuses me a bit.

It's become a bit of a shock being considered old. In my head I am not and I am mobile and active and sharp-witted. I have decided I need to dye my hair again and wear make up every day. I scrub up well. I am not even 65!

(Nah. Scrub that last sentence about appearance. I love the freedom aging brings which makes me more confident. I no longer feel the need to conform.)

No, never had a problem. I do think it is very much to do with how you see and feel about yourself.

JackyB. Why did you wait so long without speaking to reception ?

What on earth has wearing a bikini got to do with it?

Surely we are capable, intelligent, creative people who don't need to be appraised on our bodies?

That applies to 20 somethings and 70 somethings.

No I have never felt invisible, or only when I wanted to be. As others have said I am more confident and assertive now I am over 70.

I have found that I actually have more confidence when out and about in restaurants or shops and can play the “little old lady “ card to my advantage. But Gonegirl’s point about being with her daughter rings very true.
Even found my solicitor directing the conversation towards DD (OK, a co executor) when we first went to her after Paw died and I was really annoyed about that. Perhaps I was being handled with kid gloves but I resented it.
Now I just live with it, I suppose I was the same when Mum was 70 and I was in my early 40’s.

I become invisible whenever I am out with my daughter. Don't know if it's an age thing or if I just look a bit dopey. Probably that.

I have always been invisible. In shops, I get overlooked (including by female shop assistants), in restaurants, I have often ordered but it's always my food or drink that gets forgotten. Recently I sat in the doctor's waiting room for over 2 hours watching people arriving after me and being called out ahead of me.

When I was very pregnant, back in 1988, I was at a concert in a posh place wearing a bright emerald green maternity dress. It was my 3rd child and I was about 7 or 8 months in and quite balloon-like. In the interval I was in the front of the queue for the loos but the toilet lady beckoned the fourth girl in the queue out and ushered her to the next toilet that was free. Whilst we at the front of the queue were shaking our heads at each other, she explained to us that she had given the other girl priority because she was pregnant.

I rest my case.

God no not in any way.

I am 50 and a nan and I can honestly say I feel fab. Not working and kids grown up.,I am fitter than I have ever been as Have lost weight and go to the gym. I can afford my hair sorted and nails etc. I have also had Botox which is bloody fantastic.

Got chatted up literally today at soft play with my grandson. Was a desperate divorced dad but hey I take that.

Being frivolous obviousiy but only recently gave up work and never ever felt invisible there either quite the opposite.

Total myth

I haven’t noticed any invisibility cloak ( as yet, give it time)
If you are a shy and retiring type then you will feel invisible at any age.

Never heard of Helen Mitton
Helen Mirren!

As a male, I certainly do not feel that women assume a "cloak of invisibility over the age I fifty. Indeed, in the workplace, mature women often display a confidence level far above many others gained from experience born out of years spent in and out of that workplace.

In the above, women will very often take time out from their careers for childbirth and care. However, on return to the same workplace they find that "things have moved on" in their absence. In that, many find a determination to re-establish themselves and through that set themselves up to gain great confidence and then rapidly become managerial material as they move into their mature years.

I could sight several instances of the above in our workplace and where women with the above career history are now in senior management positions on the operational side of the business.

Of course, it is sometimes the case that women do struggle to re-establish themselves or returning to work following time out for childbirth and associated care, and in that often leave that workplace and settle for lesser positions in a different organisation. However, that should not happen and with the appropriate re-training, should not happen.

However, perhaps that should be the subject of an alternative thread. But, women over the age I fifty being invisible, never, not if they do not wish it to happen, especially in the world of work.