Would you ask?

Suddenly very conscious of asking personal questions yet I found myself asking someone today if they minded me asking how much they paid for a kindof luxury item!!
She hesitaged before saying - no I don't mind and telling me the price.
I told her she'd got a bargain so that pleased her.

"I can just never think of a polite response other than mind your own business!"

My default whenever asked a question I don't want to answer is "Why do you ask?" - it gives me some time to decide IYSWIM.

With luck she'll be taken aback and not know how to answer that, or she'll say something general like 'Just making conversation'. Either way, I'd then just change the subject by asking her a question. Nothing intrusive, something about TV or the local paper.

My older female relatives would answer "Money and fair words" and that would shut the enquirer up!

Where I live, not in the UK everybody talks about money no matter what it is, they always ask how much you paid for this or that.They even have an app to check how old people are ! when we moved here five years ago, a neighbour informed me I am the oldest in our road!

An iron rule: Never, ever ask anyone about their politics, religion or finances.

I am fascinated by money and what people spend on things. However, It is rude to ask direct questions, especially if the other person seems uncomfortable.

I field others’ inquiries with a variety of techniques including pretending not to hear, changing the subject and saying such things as, ‘I forget how much that cost,’ or, ‘Much too much, I am sure, or ‘ I will have to ask/ look it up and tell you later.’ I often turn the question round and say, ‘What did yours cost you?’

The thing to do is be prepared and have something to say well before the intrusive question arrives.

Rubbish!

Invent a price and move on.. life is too short to be bothered with inane rubbish.

I think I’d comment something along the lines of ‘I wouldn’t like to say - discussing money or comparing costs is always awkward isn’t it? Either it’s too much which makes me feel bad or too little which makes you feel bad!’

But OP does not feel.comfortable
Its rude to continually ask
Say not telling and laugh it off .she is very nosey and if one doesnt stop this horrid habit she might become resentful.

Just ask 'why'

ask her if she knows someone better than the quote you was given today.

I would never ask, or tell, anyone about personal finances, but I don’t see why you need to keep a secret of how much you pay for things like jobs getting done on your home. She might be wondering if she could afford to get her roof done and so on.

Maybe she doesn’t have much to converse about. You don’t say what sort of age she is or if she gets out much, although, thinking about it more, I did have an auntie who was very fixated on money and always told you how much something cost or how much someone had given her. We would just try and brush over it and change the subject ASAP.

oh gosh sheilann hadnt seen your post soz lol spooky ...lol

" Money in fair words" I think my mum would say

Personal and not her business. She has been doing this, it appears, since she became your neighbour which you have allowed to go on.
Do you really need to divulge any of your plans?
'How much?I'll cross that bridge when I come to it'

My late mum always used to reply 'Money and fair words' to any nosy questions about the cost of things.

My late mum always used to reply'Money and fair words' to any queries like that.!

Gosh - I didn't expect to get such a big response to this! Reading through your replies there seems to be a splitbetween those who don't really care and those who, like me, find it offensive. Maybe, as someone suggested, it is the way we are brought up. My neighbour has no qualms about discussing her own personal finances or those of her adult children. So maybe that's how she was brought up and that is her choice. I, on the other hand have never known any of my family's finances and wouldn't dream of asking! The furthest I will go with my children if I suspect they are struggling is to say 'Are you managing ok financially - do you need any help?'

For those who suggest trying to pass it over to the husband, there hasn't been one of those around for over 30 years. Thank you all for your suggestions.

I wish that my friend HAD asked me how much I paid to have my bathroom refitted, and who had done the work. She chose someone advertising in the local paper to tidy up her driveway., last November. When she mentioned that she wanted to have her bathroom modernised, next April, he made her an offer. "If you put down £250 now, I will do the job, and give you a 25% discount". She accepted!
The price he gave her is much higher than I paid, and I just hope that a) he turns up to do the job and b) he really can fit bathrooms, and isn't just a 'bodger'.
Her late husband always used to see to everything, and she is very naive

I don't mind telling people about the price of work done etc. but draw the line at personal finances. My grandmother, (born 1888), was very secretive about money, not that she had much, and wouldn't put any in a P.O. account because the women on the counter would know her' business'. I have no idea where she kept her cash.

The old expression my mother used to use springs to mind. 'Money in fair words'. Perhaps that might make her take the hint.

I'd just say to her that you don't know the price of anything because husband deals with the finances.

Why not tell her that you pay monthly for repairs? It may not be true all the time, but that doesn't matter in the scheme of things. Sometimes 'a little white lie' is necessary. There is nothing to gain from telling people your business. Volunteer if you like, but if she asks then she is just being nosey and before you know where you are it will be all over the street.

I have had a contract to have my boiler serviced and any repairs that arise and the electricity and plumbing likewise. I have no idea how much the services and repairs are in the 30+ years I have had the contract.

I personally don't mind telling anyone what a repair to our house cost, as those who ask would be considering having work done to their home.

I agree it is no-one's business how much your pension is.

If anyone was cheeky enough to ask me, I would say that I have the standard pension from OAP for a married woman and a little extra from the two unions I belonged to, but not state the amount.
If the person then asked me how much that amounted to, I would probably say, "Sorry, I don't like discussing money." and change the subject. If that didn't work, I would make no bones about saying, "Well, that is none of your business, is it, dear?" thereby making it clear that I had taken offence.