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Downsizing

(88 Posts)
paddyann Mon 11-Feb-19 19:19:28

After much discussion we've decided to downsize.We dont need 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms and it seems stupid to stay here when a smaller house would be much more practical.A friend says 55 is too young and 75 too late to do it so now seems about right After saying that how do you get the mindset for getting rid of "stuff" my huge collection of cookery books and CD's wont fit into a smaller living room and I'm loath to part with them .Any ideas on how to come to terms with parting with things you've had for decades?

Nanny41 Tue 12-Feb-19 12:17:55

We moved five years ago not exactly downsized but there isnt as much storage space, consequently we still have removal boxes untouched in the garage,I cant bear to start clearing them and throwing out, it will be an emotional task.Good luck Paddyann

Gingergirl Tue 12-Feb-19 12:46:51

Bite the bullet....if you haven’t used something for a year or more, I don’t think you’ll miss it.

sarahanew Tue 12-Feb-19 12:57:52

Don't rush to move and give yourself time to go through everything. There are so many places to get rid of stuff these days (and so many places to buy second hand stuff, if you decide you've got rid of something you think you shouldn't have!) Offer stuff to family and friends, sell on ebay or gumtree or car boot sales, give away on freecycle or to charity shops. But do it in your own time. At the end of the day although we all love our own stuff and clutter remember it's people and memories that matter more

pen50 Tue 12-Feb-19 13:03:02

I'm a huge fan of digital! Have managed to scan about half the family photos and improved the colours at the same time (seventies prints from Boots have not lasted well). I've kept the odd posh studio print but the rest have been binned with no regrets. I pay a fairly minimal amount to keep my photos in a Flickr account which means I can access them from anywhere and send them to friends and relatives when appropriate. And of course a digital photo frame is fun - mine will display 2,000 photos.

I also made the decision to dump books which were available in electronic format - again, no regrets. As avid bookreaders and serial movers late DH and I were overwhelmed by our vast library. I would much rather Amazon stored the information than I did. And of course I can download any book I want at any time as long as I have a connection. I do keep

I started copying my CDs back in 2000AD! So I have about 15,000 tracks in various music folders which are also backed up onto a couple of hard drives. I kept the discs in case of copyright issues but junked the cases long ago. I don't use iPhones but there is an app which allows me to since my Android phone with my music files so I can carry most of my playlists with me. Nowadays I buy all my music as downloads so it just gets added to the existing collection.

Now if only there were a way to digitise my wardrobe and my crafting materials ...

Lilylilo Tue 12-Feb-19 13:22:04

I ruthlessly culled my 50 year old cookery book collection.....turned out to be surprisingly easy. Many of the best recipes have been committed to memory over the years and there are some books I have never used. These days if a recipe is more than a few lines long then I don't do it. I also found that there are much quicker and easier ways of preparing old favourites and I now use just my Fay Ripley and Delia Smith cookery books and I kept my Katy Stewart and my Margarita Patten as reference books. The rest went off to charity shops and I have never missed them.

Rosieroe Tue 12-Feb-19 13:23:31

A friend once told to think of parting with cherished items to a charity shop as making a generous donation to a good cause. I find this helpful.

Venus Tue 12-Feb-19 13:31:38

I'm downsizing from a large five bedroom house to a three bed apartment. My husband died fifteen month's ago and I know we should have downsized a lot earlier. Now it's all up to me to decide what to keep and what not to. For me it's an emotional decision because a lot of my possessions we bought together. I doing my best and sending what I can to charity shops. I wish we had moved earlier so don't leave it too late if you want to move because it's best to do it together.

Marianne1953 Tue 12-Feb-19 13:40:03

I did this 18months ago as I was moving to a 2 bed flat from a 4bed house with a garage. The garage was full of things from my previous house. I thought it was going to be hard, but once I started, I found it quite easy. My children’s rocking horse went to someone I knew and so did my unmade dolls house. I kept the Lego for my Grandson and even some of my craft books were given away. The only thing I regretted was my faithful sewing machine that needed repair , my new one ,though lighter, is no where near as good.
Once you get a place to live it will become easier.

Nannyxthree Tue 12-Feb-19 13:53:03

My OH says my need to declutter is morbid, but we also need to consider that one of us could soon have health issues which would make sorting out more difficult.

HildaW Tue 12-Feb-19 14:08:15

Funny how some have that view Nannyxthree. We have seen it as a chance to get rid of stuff to ensure we do not put our children through what we went through with our parents. Nothing worse than going through a loved ones things when they are either dead or too ill to care. Desperately sad not to know who is in the photo or who that vase belonged to. Far better to sort it out, pass it on or send to shop or charity. Its a bit exhausting but its cathartic and a chance to justify a change of colour scheme for new home and buy a few smaller bits of furniture to fit in....every cloud etc.

Hm999 Tue 12-Feb-19 14:42:17

When approaching retirement, thoughts need to turn to how will I cope aged 80yrs+. Will I be able to walk to shops and bus stop? Will the garden be too much for me? Will I be able to cope with the stairs? (Stannah wouldn't be able to sort out my stairs!)
Who knows if the village shop will be there, or that one bus route still function?
And if the house/garden was the right size for a family of 4 or more, is it the right size for a couple?

Lindylou57 Tue 12-Feb-19 14:49:49

Downsized just over 3 years ago in our late 50s. Got rid of loads but had a really good look at CDs and Books and DVDs. Any not read, watched or listened too in last few years went to charity shops and our local primary who were very glad of all our reference books.Those I couldn't bear to part with are either on a small rack by the TV or a shelf in the bedroom. The rest are stored in the loft in plastic storage boxes. I have a list of those downstairs so any I want can be easily got at. The decision is that in 5 years any not looked at, read or listened to will be gotten rid of. Its hearbreaking to rid yourself of treasured items but its also very cathartic. We are very happy in our new little home and its so much easier to maintain!

Jalima1108 Tue 12-Feb-19 15:05:13

paddyann - Ask yourself "Do I love it, do I want it, do I need it?
I still worry about a couple of books I threw out over 30 years ago (they were my Dad's and inscribed) but at least they may have raised some money for Oxfam. It's stupid to miss books, but I do.

We need to de-clutter but this thread is making me a bit anxious, I dislike throwing things away that may have some memories or sentimental value.

breeze Tue 12-Feb-19 15:23:23

My sister once called me a 'reverse hoarder' (I throw away things I later need). I don't know if I was a highwayman in a previous life, needing to grab a sack, jump on my horse and gallop off but I cannot live with clutter.

DH is the opposite.

We are clashing lately as we are planning (not quite yet but soonish) to downsize.

I think I'm winning. Two huge boxes of books in the hallway waiting to go to the charity shop. It's not easy when you live with someone who wants to keep every single box an item arrived in 'just in case' Sigh.

tiredoldwoman Tue 12-Feb-19 15:33:11

I emptied my linen cupboard this week , keeping only what I would use . My daughter took some , work colleagues had a rummage and took some , a dog's charity is getting the fleecey blankets , I put cushions into the charity shop this morning and another lot is being offered out on Thursday . I'm a hoarder and thought that I'd be stressed at downsizing my stock . But everyone's delight made me happy - I'm away to sort out the book stock now !

David1968 Tue 12-Feb-19 15:36:11

Last year we moved into a smaller & "easier" home. Decluttered a lot before moving, but we didn't sort out our CDs. So I bought a slim, wooden CD storage unit, which houses over 170 CDs within a small "footprint". Now we're playing through the CDs, one by one, to check: a). Is this one in a good condition? & b). Do we want to keep it? Great fun & we are enjoying most of them.

Tillybelle Tue 12-Feb-19 15:43:14

Do it sooner rather than later. I am on my own now and disabled and still have other people's things to get rid of as well as my own but the actual physical lifting and carrying to Charity Shops is now outside my capability.

Had I known I would be stuck like this I would never have taken in the things of others to get rid of and would have thrown out a huge amount of my own at earlier stages as well.

I have reached the ruthless stage, chucking out things that could be useful if I could get them to the right Charity, but am unable to do so. Therefore I'm just heaving things which are really quite decent into the bin! It goes strongly against the grain but needs must.

GabriellaG54 Tue 12-Feb-19 16:07:18

What a challenge paddyann.
Is it possible to have a shed in your garden, big enough to use as a den where your cookery books could be housed?
It could serve so many uses if it's a decent size but it all depends on the size of the garden.
Good luck with the move. grin

popsis71 Tue 12-Feb-19 16:08:00

We downsized twelve years ago. My OH was away for much of the time I was sorting what to keep and what to recycle, ditch, sell at car boot sales etc and it was easy as I can be more ruthless than him. It took him a whole week to sort his books!
When my Dad downsized he said " you have remember that you own your possessions or they end up owning you".

Arto1s Tue 12-Feb-19 16:38:56

We have just begun the process of downsizing, and it is every bit as difficult as we knew it would be! The house we will be moving into (completion date late June) is less than half the size of our present home, which is now far too big for two retired people. Because of this, we have been able to accumulate with no worries of where to put things. It is really overwhelming but lots of good suggestions on here and we must knuckle down and deal with it over the next few months. Will be a sad journey too though I think.

Lazigirl Tue 12-Feb-19 17:18:24

I haven't spoken to anyone who has regretted decluttering, even those who were quite attached to their possessions. They are after all only inanimate objects, whatever emotional value is placed on them. It can be quite difficult for some to let things go I know, but I agree with your dad popsis71. It's really a first world problem isn't it. We over consume.

Kupari45 Tue 12-Feb-19 17:41:44

We downsized last year. Moved from a five bedroom house to a small three bed bungalow. It took almost a year preparing for the move. Finally we rented a container to stash stuff we thought might be needed later.
well we have been here almost a year and we love it. House work is a doddle , we know where everything is. However it was very tiring-we are both 73, we should have done this ten years ago. The stuff in the container is still there so its all going to charity after all. Also its great to know have saved our daughter the hassle of clearing out a large house when we eventually snuff it.

LinkyPinky Tue 12-Feb-19 17:49:26

I’ve done it. It’s awful. It’s not just ‘stuff’, it’s the story of your life, your biography. Start now. Do it bit by bit, and take your time. In the end, one day, you’ll appreciate your simplified life, but getting to that point will be painful. No getting away from it.

Tweedle24 Tue 12-Feb-19 17:56:32

I ought to start clearing out but, hate throwing anything away (it might come in useful ?!) My DH died two and a half years ago and apart from giving some of his useful things like electric razor to my son-law, I have not the heart to get rid of his clothes. Son-in-law cannot help here as he is 5’8” and DH was 6’1”.
My daughter, who can be far more ruthless than I, plans to come and help me do it, I have been collecting boxes so, no excuses really. Charity shops, here we come!

Barmeyoldbat Tue 12-Feb-19 18:29:19

Paddyanne, I can see why it would be hard to get rid of your CDs, it the memories. Its a hard one, I have stuff I should get rid of but just can't bring myself to do it. As for books we have a bookcase full with double rows of books. Every now and again we have a clear out but its hard. Good luck with this one.