Cremation or burial?

I did read somewhere u can be frozen and then u sort of disintegrate anybody heard anything about it??? I don't like the cold but Wud prefer it to being cooked but then I also heard u can have yr remains made into a stone for a ring??? Not sure my granddaughter wud be up for wearing that haha

Don't watch this if you feel death is no layghing matter!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WjMdfEc0Ck

In UK law you cannot bind someone to do things after your death so no point putting what you want to happen to your body in your will. However, I have a letter of wishes which I put with my will to let my family know what I would like them to do. It includes not wearing black and having a big party.

I don't have strong feelings about whether to be cremated or buried but DH wants to be buried so we will have a double plot.

I think a funeral is important for most people, it is part of the grieving process and helps to accept the death, especially if unexpected. Someone I loved died overseas in the days before they flew bodies back. I don't think I accepted it properly until just a few years ago I went over to the grave.

When DS died many people traveled a long way for his funeral and I think it mattered to them.

I Googled cardboard coffins after reading about them here and was quote surpised at the markup Funeral Directors put on them. Over 300% making them a lot more expensive than a simple wood coffin.

NotSpagetti That wool coffin is beautiful, simple and elegant. Looks expensive though!

MOnica I’ve just had my best laugh in ages reading your post! It properly made me chuckle!

Cremation for me. Scatter my ashes in the rose garden at the crematorium same as other family members. No headstone thank you.

Ha ha ...I wrote (as is required in law in France) to the Laboratorie d'analysis enquiring how to donate my body (and that of hubby) for medical research, primarily as we have had lots of things wrong with us (greedy or what !) cancer, heart problems, Parkinson's disease, dementia, vasculaire problems, I could go on …..ha ha ...I received back a form to sign saying that when the time comes if they decide they do not want our bodies they would refuse them and return them for burial (cremation is our choice) ...AND they wanted a cheque for 200 euros admin costs, PLUS the cost of returning the body if unwanted, PLUS the cost of the funerals ……..AND saying they only wanted perfect bodies, with no illnesses (can understand if contagious illnesses !) SO ...I thought bodies with problems like ours would have been useful for research or training for new doctors.surgeons, etc but it would seem not ! NOW ...where can I get a perfect body ..does anyone out there have one

It’s amazing what organs can be donated regardless of abuse in the lifetime so, if you think you would like the option, it’s always better to leave the option for them to be used.

Some while ago I wanted to buy my coffin - I figured it would save money when the time came and, meanwhile, it would be useful storage under the bed - my daughter objected! Like the idea of a burial shroud, will investigate- thanks

We recently made a new will and the solicitor advised us to make any funeral wishes known to our children or other family members in writing since putting them in the will means that they will not be known until after the funeral when the will is read,

If you're planning to donate your body to medical research, please bear in mind that they may not necessarily accept it. It all depends on whether they have enough bodies - or even the "right" type of bodies at the time - so you need to have a Plan B in place just in case. This happened when my mum died - she had specified that in her will, but our local medical school already had their quota of bodies and couldn't take any more at the time. I personally like the idea of some of the new ways of getting around the problem, such as the green composting, dissolving the body, resomation (Google it) or even freeze drying!

I was inspired to leave my body to medical research after reading Professor Dame Sue Black’s book but my husband was quite upset by the thought of not having a funeral for me. I want the simplest cremation possible but with some sort of service with my chosen readings and songs followed by a good knees up. Why are green options for coffins so expensive? I liked the idea of a cardboard coffin with messages written on it by friends and family but not now that I know the price of it.

I will be cremated but have said to DDs/DH that whatever they want to do in terms of a 'service' or 'memorial' is fine by me!

I think burial for a child is probably a better option as parents /siblings may need that place. But when death is in the proper order then I think cremation is a better option but know it is a very individual decision. Neither of my parents have a permanent memorial other than in our hearts. But when I look at the old and weathered stones in the local churchyards there is nobody remembering them.

We are in the process of making new wills because as we live abroad we have to stipulate that our wills are to be under British law which is different to PT law. Living abroad we will both be cremated with no service because we are not Catholic. When my mother died here 4 years ago she was cremated and I took her ashes to England where we had a memorial service for her. Her cremation including everything came to €2100 which was the same as the amount paid by a friend for her mother 4 years earlier.

I was brought up Catholic, my immediate deceased family have all had burials, I think that's what's expected, well that was certainly the impression I got from my mother's priest when I was arranging her funeral. I think they will do a cremation these days, although I think some clergy can be a bit sniffy about that. I visit the graves of my parents and sibling a couple of times a year to do a bit of maintenance, I can understand the raison d'etre behind cremations there isn't any tie to a particular place and of course burials take up space. My husband has always told me he wants to be cremated, he doesn't like burials. Burials are of course incredibly expensive once everything has been paid for, but that expense is met by the deceased's estate, so their money anyway. I think it's incumbent on the person arranging the burial to adhere to their wishes. I was left very clear instructions as to a requiem mass and burial so I went with those.

I want a now frills cremation, a green coffin, and no service.
I've talked about it with my kids and I really don't care what happens to my ashes but my son's do so I've asked for them to be scattered in woodland which they are happy to do.

If you are considering donating your body to medical science, it is essential to have all the paperwork in place beforehand, and even then they might not want you. I recently had to arrange my late uncle's funeral. He wanted his body to go for medical research but even though he'd done all the paperwork, they weren't accepting any bodies at that time so we had to make other arrangements.

The first time I was at a funeral where the deceased was in a wicker coffin, was when I chose one for my unclewho couldn't bear the thought of a tree ever being cut down.

DD ended up trying to crush hysterical laughter, because she said as he was borne in, she saie, the coffin sounded as though someone was bringing in a picnic hamper - and once you get a fit of the giggles at inappropriate times like this, they just escalate.

Paddy Ashdown MP had a wicker coffin, and yes they do squeak and creak loudly.

Wicker coffins squeak when they are moved. Best to be aware.

I have chosen my favourite coffin!
I LOVE it - natural wool colour choices - and British wool too - I think the cosy softness is so comforting.

www.naturallegacy.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Adult_Neutral.jpg

I've seen them being made and they are really simple with blanket stitched edges. It just seems fitting.
My family all know about it, so unless I'm "wowed" in the meantime by a different product (!) that's what they'll do.

I'm another one who needs to update the will I wrote years ago. As I have had long-term chronic health problems and have recently had a significant life-impacting diagnosis, I will also need to check the 'Living Will' I made is still valid. My long-term partner and his business partner have volunteered to make a coffin for me (I specified to do it on the cheap!) This is something I now need to give some serious thought to, so thanks for reminding me not to keep overlooking or ignoring it.

We updated our wills last year when we realised that our original ones named my brother as guardian to our children---who are now aged 41, 39,36!

As for burial/cremation. All my children know that I want a woodland/natural burial with a tree planted over the top of me

Direct cremation for me so no service at all . In the long run what does it matter if you have been a good mum/daughter/granny you will live on in their hearts ? I have been to so many funerals where I wondered who the celebrant was talking about as it was not the person I knew .Have been to a few humanist funerals which were good but I would rather have my ashes scattered where I want them to go and dispense with the rest.
I would also hate my family to feel they have to visit my grave as a duty.

I agree with Paddy Anne. We are donating our bodies to medical science. No headstones or any paraphanalia like that as we wish to be remembered in peoples thoughts.
Our son and daughter are agreeable with this but no doubt will give us a champagne send off.

My late husband wanted a cardboard or wicker coffin as he thought it would save money. It was actually considerably more expensive so I ordered the cheapest wooden coffin.