Everyone gone.

I am the oldest in my line now. One thing that surprises me is that neither of my children nor my grandchildren have ever asked me about my past, what it was like when I was a child growing up in South Africa etc. My youngest granddaughter who was about 10 asked me a few questions once, but that was for a class project set by a teacher. I seem to remember asking my grand parents a few questions, but not many, about things in their child hood and got little response. Sometimes I lie in bed and try to remember things and now they are like a dream. I should really write them down before I pop off, but will anyone want to know?

gmelon your message made me recall an experience I had regarding my Dad. He'd married for a second time after my Mum died in 1974 (she was 51!) and his second wife also sadly, died before him. When we visited him there was a framed photo on a bedside table of him, his second wife, and many of his friends and colleagues at a dinner dance. Without fail he'd take hold of it and say 'I'm the only one left from this photo'. It always used to bring a lump to my throat.

My father has sadly passed away now and effectively I'm an orphan. However I do have my older sister still alive and we are closer now than we've ever been. We share 'do you remember when' times when we reminisce about our childhood so I know what you mean about having someone who shared your childhood, as a lovely thing and I hold it very dear. So sad but, inevitable part of life and all that goes with it, it whizzes by in the blink of an eye. Or so it seems the older you get the quicker it goes. Sometimes I want to press the pause button and savour living just for the joy of it.

As an only child I was lucky to have had a truly enormous family of aunts, uncles and cousins, but sadly all the aunts and uncles are gone, and my cousins, all older than me, are disappearing fast. It is heartbreaking - like you, gmelon, I think wistfully of childhood memories but have only one cousin to share these with.

DH and I are both only children, I have no parents left, DF died 31 years ago, DM 10 years ago.
DH still has his DF, but they're not close, DH phones him twice a week and visits once, but FiL will only contact DH if he wants something. Even though he's as fit as a fiddle, and goes out dancing three nights a week, (not ballroom, slow and gentle, he jives) when he wants something, he's suddenly 'old and frail'!
I just have one maternal aunt left now, but she's not in the best of health and lives two hours drive from us. She has her DSs, DDsiL and DGDs living close by her, so quite rightly spends her time with them.
It feels a bit odd at times that I only have my DS and DGS who are closely related to me, but as an only child, I always knew this time would come!
I never wanted siblings when I was young, but now would like to have someone to natter to, turn up on doorsteps expecting coffee etc. My first boyfriend was the eldest of four, and just occasionally I wonder what it would have been like to have been part of a 'big' family, as I got on well with his parents and siblings, loved big family get togethers etc. We split because he knew for certain that he didn't want children, and I couldn't live with that! He never changed his mind, we're still friends, he and his wife have no DC, and although they've had much more 'freedom' than we have, I wouldn't change a thing! My DH is aging much more gently too, and looks far younger, he's got a bit of a 'silver fox' thing going on!

Knowing my two sons would both be wanting the family photos when I am no longer here, \(now in their 50s) I decided to make them a photo album each one Christmas and reproduced all the photos that were most relevant to each of them right from baby pictures and duplicated many. They both said it was the best present they had ever received.

Yes, the same has happened to me and I was shortly going to post similar, so you’re not alone! But it feels like it doesn’t it! It’s a reminder of our own mortality and also a feeling that we’ve lost our roots somehow. I don’t know the answer...the stress of the situation has I’m sure, contributed to me being very unwell...how do we get over trauma of losing family (regardless of our relationships with them) and make sense of our own lives and come to terms with the fact that we don’t live forever....

I'm the oldest remainder from my bloodline. Have some younger cousins whom I seldom see. However, I am so lucky to have warm and loving memories from my past that it doesn't seem to matter too much. I do remember when my Mother died that I couldn't shake the fact that I was an orphan (horrible) even although I had a very supportive Husband right alongside me. Never quite understood that.

I wish you all the best. Maybe you should write down everything you can remember from being born and details of all the family members, I don't mean like a reference work, more like a book that you can read and remember.
You can add to it whenever you remember anything new.
Might turn out to be a best seller, you never know.

Know how you all feel. Lost my only brother 2010 he was 6 years younger than me. We were close. No next of kin now. Distant cousins one in Canada I have not seen since I was 5. It is hard.

I was the youngest of five children but just my sister and me left now. Our parents and aunts and uncles all died some time ago and our last remaining cousin died last year.

My sister is eight years older than me and I dread being the last one alive.

Luckily I have two children and two grandchildren so the family will continue.

These are sad but useful posts. This will come to all of us in time.
My parents died in 2002 . My father was nearly 86 then. I do still miss him.

DS means dear sister in the post above.

When my DS died in a road accident 30 years ago, I felt just like you gmelon. I do have extended family, but none of them shared my memories of childhood, only my sister. She was also the only one who shared my memories of an adored maternal grandmother.

I have no blood relatives apart from my children and grandchildren. It's been this way for many years so I've become accustomed to it. My husband has a large family but they are always falling out and don't really keep in touch so he is really no better off.

All my siblings are still around, all younger than me, although not much contact, what really makes me feel old is that I only have one relative left who`s older than me, my cousin. We get on well, but I don`t see him often as we live about 150 miles from each other and neither of us drives.

I am newly orphaned and can't quite get my head around it, Mum was the last of her siblings, just have one paternal aunt and uncle left. Very weird, even as an adult, as there was this massive family........no more.

I have no siblings and both parents died many years ago. DH doesn’t speak to his only sister and our daughter has cut contact with us. It does feel op,onely sometimes.

Please, ladies, share your thoughts freely without concern or apologies to me for going off topic.
We cannot stop the thoughts that are conjured up and Gransnetters are very good listeners.

Meant to add, sorry for going a bit off topic gmelon

Both my parents are dead and I have no siblings. When my Mother died, 8 years after my Father, I was heartbroken as the realisation hit that I was now an orphan and the two most important people, who loved me unconditionally, were gone. I was thankfully part of a very loving extended family but nothing /nobody will ever fill the place of my parents.

A lot of our family memories have been passed on verbally as we have always had regular meet ups with sometimes 3 generations present sharing memories. Some remember more details than others and fill in the gaps. Both my DDs and now 2 GDs love to hear their family history.

DD1 gave DH and I Granny and Grampa memory books to fill in for her 2DDs so they now have a record of significant dates and details at least about DH and I, their grandparents and great grandparents. No idea where DD bought these books but I thought they were a very good idea.......when we remember to write up some more info?

I do have a brother and male cousin but I am the only female of my generation left, when I have mentioned it to other friends it seems plenty of others are in a similar situation.

My dad is the eldest living member of the family as a whole but no blood relation to my late maternal grandparents.

Thank you for your replies Kalu and MaggieMaybe and sincere apologies to gmelon for going slightly off topic.

I too am the eldest cousin and the eldest living female in the family. I had hoped (assumed even) that when my mum died my dad would be happy for my grandparents "effects" (nothing of any financial worth....just photos, documents etc) to come to me until such time I would pass them down the line. I have asked so many times I give up. He is happy for me to get the suitcase out at his house under his control, but that is not what I want to do. My hope was to bring it to mine where my sister and I together with my 2 cousins could go through it all together. I involve my dad in just about every thing I ever do but wanted this to be just for us cousins to remember our maternal grandparents. He does like to be in control though.

I'm sad that I haven't had any older relatives for several years now- I had a number of lovely Aunties and I loved listening to them talking about their childhoods and their lives. I also really appreciated their advice both asked and asked for. I dont think there is anyone in the younger members of our family who would appreciate me in the same way.

I think jane10 has a good idea.
Writing our "memoirs" may be a long sometimes painful process but I've read that it helps with our present life when we explore our past.

I'm losing a lot of my memory due to multiple sclerosis so I'd better start straight away!
That's if I can remember to.