Grandparenting + working full-time + distance + no partner

You have all made me tear up, and feel less alone in my fears. Thank you, all of you xxx

Ooops! That didn’t work out how I planned....
I was commenting on MawBroonsBack..... I would recommend exactly what this lady has said.
Congratulations by the way,.... the best job ever being a Grandparent. Xx

Exactly what I would recommend! Xx

You sound like a really lovely Mum Granannie, and I am sure you will be a wonderful Grandma too.
I think you will make the long distance relationship work. My Gcs other GPs live in a different country and they only see them two or three times a year but they have a really good relationship with the children, they Skype and phone them regularly and send letters and parcels the children are always excited to see them too. You will be the exciting fun Grandma. Best wishes

I became a granny for the first time 6 years ago. Granddaughter is adorable and I love her very much but how I wish my husband was still alive and could have the pleasure I have while watching her grow up!

lindey. I second that! Love Gransnet

I just wanted to say how much I enjoy this website and all the lovely people who give heartfelt and kind advice on it. I too have had some super advice and reassurance about an issue that was bothering me and all the comments received really helped ease my mind.
I think it is unusual these days to have a website or media page where so many positive caring people are willing to help others. Its refreshing and so helpful to be able to rely on honest views without criticisms or hurtful comments. Thank you all grandparents.

GrannyAnnie you have lots of sound advice there and hopefully it will be useful.

I would echo what everyone else said. My daughter recently had our first grandchild and whilst we don't llve far away (2 villages), my daughter's partner's parents lives about 2 streets away. My husband and I work full time while my daughter's partner's mum is retired. My daughter always said if she had children she would get her partner's mum to look after them when she went back to work (albeit part time).

I've been told that as the maternal gran I will have a closer relationship with our grandson (something to do with daughters steering the amount of contact rather than sons - not sure if this is always true). I do have a close relationship with my daughter and I know she will encourage us to see her son as much as possible but I'm trying not to tally up how many times other gran has had my grandson versus my time with him (he's only a month old and currently it's 3 to 1 to other gran).

My daughter has said its a shame I cant work part time so I could spend more time with my grandson but as a young (!) 55 yr old and this being my second marriage, I can't afford to give up work or reduce my hours. I there have to accept that I'll see him at weekends.

It is hard to keep feelings under wraps when it comes to your loved ones. We cannot dictate where they live and when you'll see them. But it is comforting to know that they choose who they want to be with.

You might see your grandchild as much as you'd like but you can be the 'fun' granny who leaves a bigger impression than the one whom the child sees all the time.

Good luck xx

Congratulations! GranAnnie you sound as if you have a lovely, open and healthy relationship with your DD and SiL and are very sensitive to their needs. I hope you enjoy every minute with them and your new grandchild. We’ve just had our seven year old DGD to stay over - so what if she was up at 5.30am and couldn’t get back to sleep!!!!!

Thank you Vicky

There are many of us who would love to live close to family and especially GC but that can't always be the case. You have a great relationship with your DD and there is no reason for that to change so don't worry. You will establish the same with DGC. Congratulations on your wonderful news.

granAnnie I’m interested that you ask if others are in your situation in that your GC will be 5 hours travelling time away. This subject comes up so regularly I think you may actually be in the majority !

nanafran to answer your query, it’s only a different colour to you to highlight your own posts. Readers see it without colour.

Congratulations granAnnie it sounds as though you have a terrific relationship with your DD and SIL so half the battle is won. Not always the case on GN very sadly.

You also seem to have organised to be there at the important time when your DD will need you most. To help out so she can bond with little one and know you are there close at hand.

As for the future, you can visit as often as you can, you keep in touch anyway, and when DGC is older you can offer to have him/her for holidays or visit there for holidays.

I'm sure it will all work out and you will love being a Gran. If you read some of the threads on here you will realise how very lucky you are.

Re the other GP's, no one will ever be as important to your DD as you. So will have a great bond with all of them even if you are not around the corner.

Love and best wishes for you all at this lovely and exciting time

I see my grandchildren, two of them, one 12, one 3, everyday. They say they have an awesome grandmother. I have awesome grandchildren. I am so blessed. We get along great and enjoy being with them. I am the one constant in their lives that they can count on. They have no father and their mother is on disability. They know that I or their grandfather will be there for them and they are grateful for it. But, it has not been easy in the past. Prayer does it.

I've never lived near any of my grandchildren, and was still working in a high pressure job for the first 12 years of the first GC's life. I took annual leave to visit to help when each was born and always took annual leave to do child care for February and October half terms. My oldest gc is here with me now, with a friend, having a break from Uni. Agree with posters about having some gear at your house so visits are easy, also holidays together (accept you'll have to pay more than your share) are good for making bonds.

Congratulations GranAnnie
Please don’t worry, you will be a fantastic grandma and a lovely mum. Think quality time over quantity. Your daughter will understand , and will appreciate all the more, the time you are able to spend together.
My two youngest grandchildren live abroad and whilst I was able to spend the first month with them, I did have to go back to work after that, and now see them twice a year , we FT weekly and have a lovely if long distance relationship.
Life is never perfect but it can still be very good

does your work have another place that you could transfer nearer to your daughter? but hey whats 5 hours.? maybe when baby gets bigger she can visit you and you visit her?make the most of your time with your daughter .assure her you are there for her. congrats on the new life.....

I’ve just bought a highchair on Facebook marketplace. Very good condition and price. I had no idea it existed till my daughter told me about it. You just state what you are looking for and radius from where you live.

That was my first post on here. Just wondering why mine is on a purple background and every ones else on a white background? Just curious no bit thing

I agree with Sue. My 3 grands' are up North and I'm in London. I see them approx once every 2/3/ month for
a weekend. We do have a very strong bond. I do get a bit jealous of the other grandparents. DIL's parents who see a lot
more of them she drives them there once or twice a month!!!! I just concentrate on my bit of time with them and we are close. Sometimes less is more works. It will be fine. x

GranAnnie don’t be sad you will still be a great gran and mum and you will work it so you see them and help them when you can They will visit and you will visit help and support can come in all different ways

I ve also been divorced a long time and live alone My first grandchild was born in NZ my second in Belgium my third in Ireland fourth in NZ and fifth sixth and seventh in Ireland Eleven years ago two came back to live near me as their Daddy died I would rather them have lived away and had their Daddy
I love them all and have relationships with them all obviously it’s a totally different relationship for the ones living close by They are all now teenagers and I hear less and less but that is life and how it is meant to be

Don’t waste time being sad it passes in a flash they are teens in a blink of an eye embrace every phone call every text every visit Good luck

You sound thrilled to becoming a gran and who can blame you. You sound practical and level headed ...just what a daughter needs when baby comes along. You’ll find a way to help her as much as possible, I know you will. Like another poster says though do invest in a high chair and travel cot...I did..and it was the best thing I did for my daughters children . Still in my loft...youv’e made me think I must take them to the charity shop. And if money’s an issue don’t forget these excellent places...people like me drop off perfectly clean , sound, items. Enjoy the little one.

my son and children moved to Ireland 2017, I was bereft all last year, I was grieving in a way. when this year turned I realised this and it has taken my almost need to be near them.I would give a lot up,my other son, friends of long standing etc.Grandchildren are real heartbreakers full stop. when they are far away it hurts.For me time has lessened the heartache, there are advantages to not be an on call babysitter! grandkids make you feel young for the first half hour! A friend gave me advice that still rings in my ears ' give it a year or so, you never know how you may feel in time' you can visit often ,if you feel the need to be near them then you can move . I also came to a sad realisation that although my family/grandkids came first in my life, I now
realise that I don't come first in theirs. you can enjoy your grandchild regardless of distance.

I had this problem with my grandson, we used to go to see him 4 or 5 times a year getting a train early Saturday morning and coming home Sunday night. It was always lovely to spend time with him. And nowadays you could possibly skype or FaceTime.. enjoy your new grandchild granAnnie.