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Does anyone over 50 here still suffer from being broody?

(91 Posts)
overwhichhill Wed 24-Apr-19 19:49:54

I can't get my head around the fact that I still want another baby.... I am over 50 and in peri-menopause for about 10 years now, but I just wish this longing for another baby would go away. I am not sure whether stopping my periods altogether will help, I am on HRT and they are irratic even with this. So asking the wisdom of Gransnet to help me how do I get my head right!

goose1964 Sat 25-May-19 13:55:39

I became incredibly broody just before my periods stopped. Now my children are popping out grandchildren I can take my maternal urges out on them

Abigailmckd Thu 23-May-19 06:31:21

Overwhichhiill
You're too old.even I've accepted that.when Ur child is a teeneger you'd be an OAP.hardly fair

Lilydot1 Tue 07-May-19 07:29:47

StepE
I was 52 when we adopted our daughter from our local authorities. We thought it would be difficult due to our ages but it wasn't a problem. A month before she came to live with us, we also became grandparents. We now have two grandchildren. The three kids are so close. It's wonderful to see them together.

Franbern Mon 06-May-19 09:50:01

I was broody from within a couple of months of getting married. Strange, as having babies had never really been in my thoughts before that. Took five years before first one was actually born, then we had four more over next five years. Was still so very broody, so we fostered - new=born, pre-adoption babies. Loved this as it meant always had a baby around.
As time moved on, two foster children stayed, one for ten years another became our youngest child.
I can still remember how I used to feel a jolt in my stomach whenever someone said they were pregnant - quite jealous, even with six/seven children with us.
I can remember in my late 50's asking if this feeling will ever pass.
But it did, and there came that wonderful time, when someone told me they were pregnant and my main feeling was 'Oh dear, have fun, glad it is not me'.
I knew I was really over this broodiness, when I ran a children gymnastic club and people used to come in and hand me their new=borns, saying they knew how much 'I loved babies', and I couldn't wait to hand their little darlings back to them!!!!!
If someone is broody, then they can look into fostering, so many more foster parents are desperately needed. Also, lots of volunteer roles at nurseries, etc.
Must say, I got over it so much that when g.children started to arrive I was not really happy about having babies around again!!!

Whitewavemark2 Mon 06-May-19 07:07:40

In answer to the op

Good god no!!

regrets Mon 06-May-19 06:59:37

Overwhich hill, I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriages and I can't even begin to imagine the pain and grief you are going through. I am sending you twelve hugs x

StepE Mon 06-May-19 05:13:47

Lilydot - that's lovely you adopted! Was your little girl from another county? How old were you?

StepE Mon 06-May-19 05:11:48

So glad this post was put up here. I thought I was going a bit crazy. My partner's son just had a baby with his gorgeous partner so I'm a step-grandmother. I had feelings of envy and even had private tears of not being able to have a baby with my partner due to us reuniting only 3 years ago. I'm 53 and he's 54. I don't like the yearning feeling and every time my partner looks at little children and babies he oohs and aahs. I feel terrible but I sometimes show no interest and I have always absolutely adored kids since I was very young and have been a magnet for them. I feel too young to have any grandchildren of my own as my own kids are 18 and 19 and I guess naturally I'm not ready yet because they're still young. I'm gradually getting used to the step-grandson- he's really adorable. We live in a different State to them so visits will be probably every 2 months or so. I'm just focussing on my health, my relationship and being happy. Maybe one day I can be a foster mum. Adoption is probably out of the question too. Life goes on and it is what it is. Best wishes to you all.

MaudLillian Sat 27-Apr-19 18:08:32

No, but I adore my granddaughter. My only complaint is that I don't see her often enough - every day would be too little for me! But I do count my blessings, having read here on this forum how many grandmothers don't get to see their grandchildren very often at all.

Lilydot1 Sat 27-Apr-19 11:15:06

I felt the same as you at 50 my son's were grown up and left home. Me and husband regretted not having more children. We looked into adoption and within two years had a beautiful daughter! That was six years ago. She was 5 when she came to us and we love her to bits.

M0nica Sat 27-Apr-19 09:07:21

I haven't felt broody since I was 30 and had my second child. I had had my children, whom I always wanted, and now there was a great big world out there with so much on offer that frankly the thought of having another child appalled me, and I can remember the sinking feeling and feel of loss I had when I thought I was.

But then I did not have the tragic experiences having my children that some others had.

BradfordLass72 Fri 26-Apr-19 23:50:05

overwhichhill That's heartbreaking. One miscarriage devastated me so I cannot imagine what it is like to have 12. I am overwhelmed with sorrow for you.

I did find the broodiness got less (we are all different! smile) and I hope it does for you too.

pce612 Fri 26-Apr-19 17:40:12

Hell no.
You need to ask your doctor for non-bleed hrt.

Magrithea Fri 26-Apr-19 13:43:30

What about fostering?

keffie Thu 25-Apr-19 23:49:58

I have young Grandchildren which I help out with childminding for. They have more than quelled any broodiness I may have had.

My broodiness beforehand though was minus 0. I was sterilised when I was 41. I was absolutely certain I didn't want anymore. My history which is my personal story not for general sharing meant I was very clear on that.

I had 4. I would have loved if I had been younger to have another 1 with my 2nd husband but we were both in our 40's when we met and it was a decision we made together. No arguments over it.

I'm exhausted with my Grandchildren so I know there is no way I could do it again, even if I could. That's just my feelings. I presume you don't have any young grandchildren around to help quench those feelings?

overwhichhill Thu 25-Apr-19 20:21:44

EthelJ - No I didn't say the ages of my children, I was very late having children, I was 40 having my last nearly 12 years ago. Then I had miscarriages up til age 45, and then everything went into shutting down mode!

But it does mean that because I started late, it will be a long while before I get to have the pleasure of being a grandparent. I enjoy being a great-aunt to my sisters grandchildren, but don't see them nearly as much as I wish I could. My husband would have been happy to have another baby, but he did find all the losses difficult at the time too.

I love still having a pre-teen in the house, and at the moment we have two extra teenagers living with us as well as our own teens, so I think I must love raising children as well as the wonderful baby stage!

Iam64 Thu 25-Apr-19 20:20:37

No no no.
Our four under 4 year old grandchildren went home about 6, the first arrived at 7.45 am. I've had a glass of restorative wine and I'm now drinking camomile tea and looking forward to an early night.

I love those 4 little ones more than I can put into words. I enjoy their company, love being with them listening to them chatter. Its wonderful to be surrounded by little ones who are learning about the world, who have a sense of wonderment, belief in all things magical. I even loved revisiting belief systems when the 3 and 4 year olds asked me on several different occasions "where did X go grannie". X was one of our dogs who sadly had to be put to sleep recently, much too young and very poorly. The children noticed he wasn't here and are in that mode where one will often ask "why did X die". "where has X gone". "when X wakes up again, will he come home". It so life affirming to go through this kind of Big Stuff again.

Getting up at 5.45 am every day, never being able to take your eyes off them and so on - no thanks, I've done that. I can do it one full day a week, fairly regular sleep overs of various combinations but, I've no desire to be a parent again.

rafichagran Thu 25-Apr-19 19:58:07

No never,could not think of anything worse.

notanan2 Thu 25-Apr-19 19:11:26

For me I think its the intensity that I miss. In late pregnancy and early newborn stage your world turns inwards to your little family and there is something very special about that time. You become a very close unit...

...
Then kids get older and its business as usual, you are still a family but outside life takes priority again

tiredoldwoman Thu 25-Apr-19 18:48:02

Have you told your husband about your feelings , did he run a mile ?

JackyB Thu 25-Apr-19 18:21:59

I had a hysterectomy in my early 40s and have dreamt of pregnancies and newborns on and off ever since.

It's the pregnancies and the contented feeling and the joys of breastfeeding I hanker after though.

I'm not too keen on small children as such. I think I would happily have borne babies for other people.

notanan2 Thu 25-Apr-19 18:03:45

No. Just spare a thought for the children of older parents, and don’t be selfish.

There is nothing selfish about admitting to feeling broody FFS.

SirChenjin Thu 25-Apr-19 17:53:16

Good god - no! Absolutely not. I can't think of anything worse than going back to sleepless nights, nappies, breastfeeding and so on.

Millie22 Thu 25-Apr-19 17:44:40

Noooo as I wonder how older mums really cope when they have the difficult teenage years.

Aepgirl Thu 25-Apr-19 16:58:30

No. Just spare a thought for the children of older parents, and don’t be selfish.