Gransnet forums


Moving house disappointment !

(14 Posts)
Drwatfam Sat 18-May-19 09:59:11

Good morning! Long post alert!!!

Just really want to share my disappointment and anxiety of the moment .

About a year ago , after my Mam , died , I posted about the possibility of moving house.
We have waited and now the time seems right .
We saw a house we loved , had an offer accepted and put our own home on the market at a very good price.

Immediately the sign went up our next door neighbour was knocking on the door , wanting her sister to view .
They're Chinese and want to live next door to each other .
All weekend they were knocking on door . They made a low offer , as is the game , but this was increased after negotiation and we accepted on Monday afternoon .
All lovely and exciting!
So , solicitor contacted etc etc and moving forward .
Yesterday, got a text message that they were withdrawing the offer!!!
They blamed complexities of getting cash from China!,
Who knows !! They communicate through the teenage niece who is very sweet so all I could say is that I was sad.

I've been waiting to escape this city for 30 years and a tantalising light at the end of a tunnel was waved before my eyes .

We did have several other viewings last weekend but no one wanted the house . I know its early days though .
I'm scared now that our house won't sell .

It's a lovely family home , 4 bed with a beautiful garden which is our pride and joy . Sadly , the garden is 100 yards long and I think everyone wants " low maintenance " , don't they ?
So, I'm feeling like it's over. We won't sell ; we will lose the house I really want and I'm here till I die.

I know there will be other houses to buy if we lose the one we want but it is a very unique house, not your usual modern houses . A 1905 Edwardian terrace, beautifully restored at a brilliant price in a place we want to be .

It's not often I'm so set on getting anything
I call myself the " Compromise Queen " because I will always give in to another person in opinion or choice ( usually husband ) and I can always feel that others positions and desires are more valid than mine .

However , I really want this house.
We could afford to buy the house we want out of savings though it would clean us out . We would also incur £8000 stamp duty for having second home ,though this is refundable when this house sells !,

We could borrow from our son too .
They earn very well and £210 k is not a lot for them except that doesn't feel right to me as a mummy !

To top it all , our daughter in Edinburgh, who has a 2 week old baby ,is having bouts of severe abdo pain ( probably gall stone colic ) and I should be going there but I'm so exhausted by the house thing and so worried .

I tend to be like a rabbit in headlights in times of stress. Totally incapacitated and unable to do every day things .
Sorry to waffle for so long .
What do you all think?
Should I just stop dreaming of the impossible and accept I'm doomed to be trapped in this city till I die . That's melodramatic , I know , but we only came for 2 years in 1985 and I feel I am stuck for ever now!

Sunlover Sat 18-May-19 10:05:37

Similar happened to us. In the end we bought the new place and rented out our 4 bed house. That was two years ago and the tenants have just signed up for another year. We find its working well and the rent money is a nice income. We may sell in the future but are happy the way things are at the moment. If you really want the house go for it.

annsixty Sat 18-May-19 10:06:43

Accept the offer from your son and get things moving.
Giving up on your dream will make you very depressed and eventually bitter.
Go for it, when things are finalised ,even before moving, you can go and help your daughter.
Good luck,

TwiceAsNice Sat 18-May-19 10:10:59

I think renting so you can have your new house is a good idea. Or is it impossible to borrow from your son, has he offered to help you? If he has I would say yes thank you. I’m sure you have helped him over the years. If you adore this house and want to move look at all possibilities to do so, you only have one life, seize the day!

TwiceAsNice Sat 18-May-19 10:11:38

Sorry possible not impossible

Chinesecrested Sun 19-May-19 10:37:55

And you say you've got savings, so use them. Personally I can't see the problem. Either leave your house on the market or rent it out. And there's no problem with a big garden. Space for kids and dogs, veg patch, chickens... New builds only have a tiny one.

Nonnie Sun 19-May-19 10:46:14

Sorry to hear it all went wrong but that happens a lot so not personal.

I think we don't like to go to our children for help but we are wrong. They often feel that they want to give something back so it would be kind to let them.

Not sure about leaving the house empty though, might make it difficult to sell. Renting it out is a gamble depending upon what sort of tenants you get.

If you lose the house do not despair. We once set our hearts on a lovely new house and a sale was agreed but the sellers didn't seem in a hurry to move and sometimes didn't respond to emails which made us uneasy. Eventually after a serious of peculiar incidents we were persuaded to go and look at a house we had already dismissed and we fell in love. Because we had already sold ours we were in a very good position to offer below asking price and got a very good deal. It was the best move we ever made.

GrandmaMoira Sun 19-May-19 10:54:12

Your house has only been on the market a very short time. I moved recently and despite being in London where houses usually sell immediately, my move altogether took nearly two years. There are no guarantees you will get the house you have viewed but yours is bound to sell in time.
If you can raise the money without selling, just do it if this is your dream house.

mosaicwarts Sun 09-Jun-19 14:04:52

I've only just seen your message. I have had lots of support from lovely Gransnetters on my thread because of my house being on the market, and recent circumstances also involving an offer being withdrawn.

A comforting comment was that I should relax as my house will sell, and I will move. I am going to use it as my mantra, as 'when' is the question that no-one can answer.

I am now going to be patient and what will be, will be. I am planning on going into a rental property when I sell, I don't think I could do both at once.

I am so sorry your buyer pulled out, but now understand this is commonplace, especially if there is the added complication of chains. My buyer told the EA he was a cash buyer, but it turned out he had to wait to sell his property - so not a cash buyer when he viewed.

Good luck!

Witzend Sun 09-Jun-19 14:28:05

Please don't lose heart. It just takes the right buyer to fall in love with it - it does sound like a lovely house. And although smaller/low maintenance gardens are becoming more popular, others will still love all that space.
And as pps have said, it does sound like very early days.

Just make sure the price is realistic - IMO 'optimistic' pricing is a major reason houses 'stick', at least around here.
One such very near us has been on the market for nearly 3 years - very overpriced to start with and reduced in reluctant little nibbles since, while during that time the market has steadily been getting more difficult from a selling POV.

Franbern Mon 10-Jun-19 10:07:50

Do agree with the comments about ensuring house price is really in line with current prices in your area. Check yourself on Rightmove- and remember that those that appear to have been on the market a long time are probably over-priced.
Last summer, due to external circumstances I had to put my house, in an outer London suburb, on the market. EA's I contacted suggested a price which I thought was probably at least 50k too high. With a struggle i managed to get them to agree to a price 10k lower, but knew it was still too much.
Very few viewers, no offers, after four weeks the EA's came to me with the inevitable, 'Let's reduce it..' Even then, with a 20k reduction, I still felt it was too high. Few more viewers, no offers. After three months, with Autumn approaching I took it off the market.
Put it back on again, this Spring - in the meantime had the hall and stairway all painted. New EA's and they came in around the price I had first thought off.
They put it on the market with 'Offers Above'......The original EA's had the cheek to contact me and say they had seen it was back on the market and they would be happy to take it on at that price.......!!!!!! Why did they not do so when I first went to them?
Lots of viewers this time, and several offers, however many of those well below the asking price.
Did accept one, and things seemed to be moving beautifully, until they lost the purchaser for their large property, So back on the market and within a week a new acceptable offer.
Whatever you put it on the market for, you will need to be open to reasonable offers. But if you market it at too high a price, then nobody will be interested and when a property is shown with too many 'reductions' people get suspicious.

humptydumpty Mon 10-Jun-19 11:05:51

TBH my main thought was, I should have your problem! I can't envisage a future where I could buy any house or flat from my savings, and certainly my daughter is never going to be in a situation to lend me over 200k.

Having said that, I agree with the comments that lowering the price would be a good idea, especially if you're not desperate for the money.

HildaW Mon 10-Jun-19 12:50:04

We sold a house to a Chinese family a few years ago. All I can say is that thank goodness we used an excellent EA and Solicitor who fully understood the vagaries of dealing with selling to people not familiar with our culture or perhaps more accurately people who chose not to understand certain things!

Now to the present day....

We put our house on the market first via highly respected national EA at a local branch we trusted due to previous use and knew they would 'nurse' a deal through ....and had a reasonable initial response so started to look. Found an ideal new build but they wanted to complete within a certain time. So.......we liquidated all our long term savings and went for it! Yes you have to pay extra stamp duty but it was returned promptly on application when house finally sold - so really not a problem. Is was lovely to have the house we wanted sorted and paid for....yes we were technically broke for a couple of months but that was fine we did not starve!
Then we had a buyer for our house after a well thought through price drop...not much but it was enough to suddenly bring real purchasers out of the word work.....we were all packed up and moving anyway and that actually seemed to work in our favour, buyers could see we were serious! The price of a house must not be confused with all the emotional history of the place....its price is what others will pay for it....its nothing to do with what you 'feel' its worth.

We are now in our smart little new build and have just had to garden sorted...low maintenance.

So, to sum up...really good EA to get you on the National forums such as Right Move. Good sort out and clear out of property. If you can go ahead and buy the one you want ...go for it.

HildaW Mon 10-Jun-19 12:56:53

P.S. I totally get your Rabbit in the headlights thing due to stress. It will pass - but understand that your emotions will take a battering and one of you needs to be organised and raising files on all the practical stuff. Lists really do help. Tasks to be done...ticked. Its all very reassuring and brings things just a little further on. Be Brave, sometimes you do have to fight for what you want.